[incircles]

I hit my head in July of last year -- not very hard, but apparently in exactly the right way to cause axonal shearing and give me a case of PCS. At the time, I was taking Skelaxin; once I stopped (in December) the dizziness and spacey feelings mostly subsided, and I was again able to read as easily as I could before the accident, but every now and then I'll still feel a bit dizzy and spacey.

A few days ago, I went to a party and had five or six sips of beer. Really, I barely drank any, and I hadn't expected any effect at all but I felt drunk in a sort of weird, loopy, dissociative way. Is this normal even if the usual symptoms are mostly gone?

Also, I used to write ALL the time before the incident. Lyrics, prose, journal entries... I still feel like I can write well *technically* but the inspiration doesn't seem to be as strong anymore, and word choice feels more mechanical than creative. This could just be the result of spending most of my time working in a technical field and not really having any emotional changes in my life to inspire me, but I played a word game online yesterday that involved creating clever sentences, and I just wasn't coming up with anything; I used to be one of the best players.

My problem-solving ability, reaction time, and overall intelligence are as good as they ever were, though, and I'm not bad in conversation, so it's not obvious that this is a symptom of PCS. Anyone experience anything this subtle?

As frustrating as it might be to not know whether or not I can attribute this to PCS, though, I'm thankful that if it's a symptom it seems to be the only symptom left... (knocking on wood)

[PCS McGee]

I dealt with a lot of similar things myself. Before I hit my head I could just sit down and write flowing prose without thinking of the technical aspects of what I was doing at all - the word choice, punctuation, sentence structure... all those components just seemed to come together on their own.

For several years after I hit my head, my brain just wasn't able to work that way. Each. Word. Came. Out. One. At. A. Time. And. There. Was. No. Flow. To. What. I. Was... ... ...saying. I'm sure you understand what I mean. Everything I'd create was still grammatically correct, but it took 3 times as long to write and came out SO sterile and uninteresting, I just didn't enjoy it anymore.

I remember one time at a party a bunch of my friends were doing this impromptu quasi-freestyle rap kind of thing, where someone would say a sentence, then someone else would add onto it with a line that rhymed, then someone else would jump in, and so on. Anyway, I was standing nearby and several people were saying "oh man, you've GOT to get in on this, this is so you" or something to that effect. So I tried, and I just couldn't come up with anything. Nothing at all. That really hurt. I'd always been known as a quick wit.

Fortunately, my relationship with words is one of the things that I've definitely gotten back (though it took a long time to get from where I was to where I am). I love writing again, and while I'm not quite back to where I can get "in the zone" like I used to (where I'd just type and type for pages on end without taking many, if any, breaks to think), I can see that I'm a much better writer now than I used to be when I compare pieces from then and now.

So yeah, you aren't the only one that's experienced what you're going through, and your "missing pieces" might well not be permanent. If it feels right to do so, keep the faith that you'll come back.

[incircles]

Thanks! I don't feel like I'm experiencing it to the degree you described (my writing feels fluent enough; it just lacks spark) but it helps to know someone has had similar issues. I'll be patient. The ability to read fluently came back; creativity might follow.

I noticed that you mentioned marijuana in another thread. I haven't smoked in a long time and never really enjoyed it, but I'm going to visit all of my old friends in a couple of months and apparently they're heavy smokers these days. I'm sure I'll be in a smoky room. Is an area high something I should be concerned about, given my extreme reaction to alcohol?

[PCS McGee]

Originally Posted by incircles

I noticed that you mentioned marijuana in another thread. I haven't smoked in a long time and never really enjoyed it, but I'm going to visit all of my old friends in a couple of months and apparently they're heavy smokers these days. I'm sure I'll be in a smoky room. Is an area high something I should be concerned about, given my extreme reaction to alcohol?

Mark might have a better answer for this than me, but I personally wouldn't be concerned about it per se, though I would be prepared for a potentially unpleasant experience. I continued to try and smoke pot occasionally for the first few years after my injury, and my usual experience was that my brain would just completely go to crap (or "pot", if you're into puns) whenever I tried the stuff (or was in a room with a lot of the smoke around). My short term memory would get completely shot, I'd get really anxious, I couldn't elucidate my thoughts well at all... it was just really unpleasant (and yes, I realize these things happen to pot smokers sometimes without PCS, but they were far more acute, abrupt, and overwhelming with the brain issues in tow, I can assure you of that).

Basically, it was awful and the lulled mental fog that an uninjured pot smoker might expect to experience the next morning would last for me for a couple of days, but beyond that I felt fine. I don't think being around it it will hurt you in the long term, but it might well put you in a crummy place for a few days so I'd recommend avoiding it if that's at all possible.

[incircles]

Yikes, yeah, you sort of described my experiences smoking it (well before my accident), but at least then I knew I was only in for four hours of dissociation. Thanks for the warning. These are good friends; I'm sure they'll understand.

How concerned should I be? When I saw them three years ago, I think they just smoked on the porch... being outside with it wasn't enough to affect me then, but is it possible it might be now?