As we know - and live - Mom is not supposed to lose it. And Moms don't, but it sure is tough. The littlest fellows just can't be expected to understand, and not only do you not want to yell at them, you really don't want to make them sad, or make them worry or frighten them, not sick ones, not well ones either. Takes a lot of teeth-gritting sometimes. At some point you find that they are slowly absorbing unspoken messages, and learning to let their empathy carry them through the low spots in life. It doesn't all happen at once, I terrified (unintentionally) my daughter who was 10 at the time by giving her an intense message to transmit to her father - the message was wild nonsense because I had pneumonia and was hallucinating from fever. I terrified her, she terrified him, he came tearing into the bedroom expecting the worst.

Being calm in the face of a sick child or one in pain is tough, and it's tough a dozen times over if you're hurting as well. But Crystalina, it passes. That's the only relief I can offer, that it passes and that in the meantime we all here have hides like elephants and you can whack away until you're feeling some better. And while I don't subscribe to the theory that if it hurts (or tastes bad) it must be good for you, I do sense that kids who learn to share their natural empathy and understand a little of the reality of life not always being a piece of candy are often pretty nice people in the end. I hope that today will be better and that you and rae have fun on the upswing. Nancy