...problem.

I was the subject of a serious @$$-chewing at my WW meeting today. A long-time member let me know in front of everyone there that I was monopolizing the meetings (although the leader had never said anything about that to me, and I would think she would have), and that, according to her, people had left because of it! WHAT THE.... I was assured by the awesome folks on the WW board I'm on that she was WAY out of line, and that I had every reason to be upset with the way she delivered her announcement.

I thanked her for letting me know, asked why she (or anyone else) hadn't said anything before, and then I left (the meeting was ending), saving my tears 'til I got home. I am usually very Teflon-like in nature about such things, having experienced a great deal of bullying as a kid and learning the hard way to shrug such things off, but the humiliation overwhelmed me. It really hurt.

The WW board was very sweet and validated everything I felt, and my mom said similar things. I feel somewhat better now, but I really think it was an ego trip for her to do that, and she's probably quite jealous, although she hasn't had to lose as much and is actually smaller. I realized a few times before that my excitement over the program and the results I have seen over the past nearly-14 months are influencing my ability to contain my enthusiasm and excitement, but am I right to think she should have said something to the leader or taken me aside and told me, rather than taking me down in front of everyone?? How do you think I should deal with her at future meetings? I don't think she has any clue how I feel, because I was still trying to collect myself when I left. Thoughts?

LIZARD, still wounded, but recovering

Oh Liz I am so sorry. Why don't you write her a little note and say you hope she feels better now. Green eyed monster on patrol if you ask me! Hugs

you keep on cheering people on and keeping them motivated!!

people need to hear success stories, so they know they can do it too!

can you email this lady? maybe ask her if something else is bothering her? mny times somebody will strike out to hurt someone becasue they are hurting themselves. steal the thunder kwim?

Thank you both so much! It really helps to get your feedback. I feel better after all everyone has said since I got home. I want to applaud one of our members who stuck up for me in some ways, too. Everyone has assured me that J was way out of line and yeah...I suspect jealousy and low self-esteem have a lot to do with it--sad, but not my prob. Already been through that, thanks. I hope she can resolve whatever her issues are and that she comes to realize that she allowed herself to look like a complete biatch for doing what she did, but I won't hold my breath. Sad...


LIZARD, who's gettin' over it

Dear Liz,
I am so sorry that you had to put up with that....she sounds really controling.
You don't deserve her grief in the slightest!
Awful that she upset you.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi Liz, sorry about the lady at your meeting. The best way to handle it is to walk in there with your head held high. Don't let somebody else's pettiness bring you down. The leader of the meeting should have stopped here but she may have been caught off guard. Anyway, be proud of your weight loss and show it in that big smile on your face everytime you walk in the door to your meeting. As I say kill em with kindness, mean people don't know how to handle it...Sue

Thanks, darlin'.

I'm gonna make it. I think I'll call and see if I can talk to my leader again before the next meeting, though, to get her take on all of it. The cool thing is that no one seemed to be willing to back her up, and I was even defended by some of them. It just seems that if she really had a problem, she would have approached our leader about it first, and she (leader) would have known there was a prob to begin with and addressed me about it. She never said word one to me about it, so I'm thinkin' that J is the only one who feels that way and maybe even made up that crap about others leaving on acct of me. Pathetic, huh?? In any case, her self-esteem issues are not my problem!


LIZARD, over it and trying to help someone with a much bigger problem

Liz~
Sorry you had to go through that honey! I can only imagine how you must have felt! (((Liz))) You DO know it was all out of jealousy, right?

You know, in a strange way, it was good she said it to you publicly. Had she said it to you privately, it's so bizarre, that people would have a tough time believing you. It would be hard to believe that someone could be THAT jealous, envious and asinine without actually seeing it yourself.

You illustrated the classy person you are Liz by your reaction to her attack; especially being blindsided like that. I applaud your self-restraint. I'm not sure how I would have reacted, but I'm thinking it might have involved 4 letter words.

Like you mentioned, I would talk to the leader before the next meeting just to get her thoughts on the situation. I would ask her opinion about the comment of losing members because of you. Like you, I'd be willing to bet that was made up. I agree with SueBabe that you should just walk in the meeting as if nothing happened. You did nothing wrong; she did. She showed the whole room what kind of person she is. She did it to herself. That's why no one backed her up.

Liz, I'm proud of you for losing that much weight! That is a HUGE accomplishment! You are an inspiration to all of us here (and there). She was jealous that you were getting the attention instead of her. Keep on being Liz--YOU GO GIRL!!!

Hugs,
Jan

Jan, honey, thank you so much!!

I am better today and realize that in doing what she did, she also made herself look like the fool in front of the group, so maybe that's the silver lining, huh??

In my shock, I didn't get to thank the awesome folks who came to my defense. There were several, and I am eternally grateful for them. It is obvious to me that she has some serious self-esteem issues, especially since she felt the need to do that in front of the group and then actually defend doing it! How sad, huh??

Gosh, it's so funny. I can recall a time, not long ago at all, when I would have just balled up and sobbed. That's what lots of practice taking ***** from people does to ya.

Thanks again for the pats on the back, everyone! I really needed 'em!

Love y'all!

LIZARD

Lizard,

I really admire you. My teacher yelled at me at class and embarrassed me so bad I took a break from school. Well, I also need to get ready to move but I could have put it off longer.

I also am sorry you had to go through that but you handled it like a lady. And there's nothing wrong with crying when our feelings are hurt.

Hugs to you.

befuddled2