Hi all~
Knowing Nancy, she wouldn't start a thread to let us know how her MRI's turned out, so I thought I'd do it! She'd probably sneak a little sentence in a roll call somewhere where we would all miss it, so.....NOT THIS TIME MISSY!!

We know you went on Thursday for MRI's, but don't know when you will get the results, so PLEASE let us know when they come back, k?

We also know that you've been going through some emotional stuff with your family. I don't think everyone saw your post because it was at the end of a roll call, so could you please go copy and paste it here, so we can all, as your family (most younger ) try to come up with suggestions to try to help? We are all one big family, and when one member is hurting, we are ALL hurting!

Take it one day at a time sweetie!
Hugs,
LS

((((nancy))))

Attachment 529 <---i snitched it from moose

{{{Nancy}}}

Well wishes your way.

befuddled2

Nancy you know already how I feel about you. We will be praying for you and your famly today. Hang in there! Good news is coming. We stick together, ok!

I'm just getting ready to go to the farm before going to church. I am slow getting ready for some reason, so I'll come back in later today.
____________
BC

I totally agree with you guys!! We all love ya BS! I wish I knew what to tell you on Chris's problems. Billie would be the one for advice there. She's been through some problems with her son Donnie. We all have kid problems, some just more..... Hang in there sweetie!

We're waiting on those reports and crossing our fingers right with you!
Hugs,
LS
PS--Hey BC--Love your graphics!! Getting kinda FANCY aren't ya? I see you're living up to your name!! Fun, isn't it? Love you! OH, and did ya HAFTA tell everyone about my secret addiction to skateboards??? Now I can't pin everything on GC...... BYW, where IS Froglady??

...But you are right. I've asked for help and now I need to step up and really ASK! I will re-copy my earlier post below but first I need to say THANK YOU to those you have written to me this week-end already. You have helped me get through yesterday. Honest, it helped a bunch. So I will paste my original and then update you on him.

I made it through my MRI and should get results tomorrow afternoon or Tuesday morning. I'll be calling tomorrow afternoon, you bet your booties I will.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++
ORIGINAL POST:

First, he has been going through a break-up for the last 6 months (maybe an exageration but it feels like more). This girl is playing him like a deck of Vegas cards. We keep telling him she is no good but he has his head in places that I don't want to think about. He has had 4 jobs in the last year he has lived here in our town. This last one was a good one at a casino with good pay and benefits. Well, he went to Vegas for his days off (Sun/Mon) to visit a friend. He was suppossed to be home yesterday afternoon in time for work and never showed. Wouldn't pick up his cell. At 3:00 I got a text message saying he would call in a minute. He didn't. His start time at work came and went. The casino never called so I figured he called and quit. Sure enough, at midnight I get an e-mail stating that he found a job and was staying in Vegas. I have not heard from his since. Don't know when he will come to pick up his stuff, all he had was 24 hrs. worth of clothing. (He must be wearing his friends' stuff, they are the same skinny size.) After the message at midnight I tried to sleep but my pain was sky high until about 3:30 a.m. I guess he will show up sooner or later and I am doing pretty well staying strong but this child has been my cross to bear his entire life and maybe it's time to just let go.

UPDATE: He has still not come for his clothes and other things he has left with friends. He called yesterday for a few minutes. He was real busy this week - applied at 2 whole jobs. Grrrrr. Said they might come this week-end to get his things. I don't think so. His roomate doesn't work - living on student loans. So I think they are just laying around. (No drugs, little alcohol, zero motivation.)

So, dear friends, how does a mother stop worrying about her youngest child who has abruptly left home for the 3rd time and who suffers from depression and a learning disability.

Jan - maybe we could just have a general discussion about children, ours or others, and how they can emotionally drain us?

Love,
Nancy aka BS

BS~
I SO hear ya on how "kids" can emotionally drain you. How long do your parental responsibilities go on---till they are 70? I love my kids like everything, but some of you know I am going through some rough times with my oldest also.

She is 29 and a recovering addict. She is also an RN. THe latest is she (we) have to appear before the State Board of Nursing December 19th to answer some allegations that happened 14 months ago when whe was working at a different place. We (I) have gone through hell with drying her out, only to find out the next day she went back to drugs---pain pills. She was so far gone guys she stole 2 weeks worth of MY pain Narcotics as well as 54 other Narcotics I had prescribed for me.

Long story that some of you know--thank you for helping, or letting me vent. How long are you responsible for what your "children" do or not do? Rhetorical question I suppose.

Nancy, honey, I do not know what to tell you. I do not know what to tell myself. Can any of you guys help with any words of wisdom? I REALLY like your idea of a discussion about children emotionally draining us.

I know we should cut the apron strings, but how do we do that? I have done that, most of the way--she is living on her own with her three year old.

Nance, Chris maybe needs to hit bottom like Laura did? It's hard to see them fall/fail and get hurt, but maybe that's what he needs? Maybe he needs a kick in the @ss and for him to know mommy WON'T be there? Tell him you're through maybe?

The last time I went to the lawyer with Laura I hollered at her that she better thank her brother, because if not for his pleading, I was ready to throw her to the wolves. He pleaded with me to give her one last chance--to make it damn clear that this WAS IT--her last get out of jail free card! I agreed.

I was hollering this. I could not help myself. I think I was at the breaking point. Maybe Chris would need to hear something like this? I don't know Nance. He is a little younger than Laura, so maybe not.

You guys all have opinions. Please express them. We need them. We are asking for help. Anybody. Has anything helped/not helped?

Thanking everybody in advance!
LS--alias Jan

hugs to you dear nancy!
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Let our son Donnie go, and all I can say is, He ended up in prison. I haven't seen him since. He writes every week and is in a wheelchair at age 35. Now he begs me to help him get a lawyer for he says he is innocent and has always said that. He swears he was framed and told me who did this to him.

If I had it all over again, I would of helpped him more at the begining, not now. It is just an uphill battle after that. I did try to win another trial or get the State to overthrow the case. We took it all the way to the Supreme Court and didn't not win. It cost a bunch!

I can live with myself better knowing we tried tho. He is now wanting me to help him once again, because he is handycapped, and says they caused it. I may go see him when Mark gets a permmision slip filled out. In a letter something just looses lamination.

I never knew if he was on drugs or not, in my case as he wasn't living at home at the time. All I have is his word!

How far should you go to help your child? When do you feel you have to just let go? Is he worth fighting for? These are the questions I ask mysellf. They are not easily answered. I have loved Donnie but have learned to think long and hard before making a decision. This child could drain me of all I have to live on.

Listening with the heart, is the best answer for me. Are you perpared to live the the answer no matter what. This is "tough love" in my book. This has worked with me so far, but not as easy as it sounds. Don't ever quit praying for them. Alway believe God can change our children. The son or daugher, still has to want to change.

This is all I can tell you. I have poured out my heart here as well as I can. There is not easy answer! Wish I could be more help here. I do wish all parents the best of luck. It is never an easy thing to do. Raising a child is not for wimps. I have seen kids turn out well when they were adults also.

I'll be praying God helps you with the answers.
________________
Blessings,
Billie


Billie alias BC

Hi Nancy and everyone else. I really don't have much advice on how to handle a situation like that. My kids are still teenagers and while they are not perfect I have not had to deal with too much. I guess you can let your son know that you love him and always will but you will no longer put your life on hold for him. It will be rough on both of you and probably more on you Nancy. Maybe he does need to hit bottom before that happens I just don't know. I am sure he knows deep inside that he is screwing up but it may not be strong enough to really make him change. All I can say is that I will send warm thoughts your way and hope that you can get a little rest...mental and physical...Sue