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10-25-2011, 08:52 AM | #1 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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good day all
my appointment isn't till 2:00 the lump is still hanging around i don't even know how to express the emotions that run through me i had a horrible night with other issues found under spinal disorder waiting for meds to kick in takes about 45 minutes till then i thought i would share i find myself extremely depressed i'll have tomorrow with my psychiatrist he does help it's over a year now till then i am happy that this forum exists the last time i looked at the clock was 3:15 a.m. with nightmares too follow horrible, unspeakable lots of blood and violence what in heavens name would bring on such violence is disturbing in my waking life i live as we all do have situations that is just not in our control to stop it i just got up only to be reminded the doctor my eldest child (30) will be with me i always said in the past if by chance and the odds are there in worse case and test show positive i said i would have both breasts removed and still would what i can't wrap my brain around is they served its purpose i breast fed all my four children one up till 30 months i was married a long time ago and divorced just 25 years now decided then never to marry again i don't have someone special because i don't trust my relationships are limited i feel so alone so scared hard accepting that this is really happening everything a test it is just so much at once blowing my mind i am relieved knowing i have done my job and had my mammos faithfully that should calm me a bit but honestly the attachment is not making any sense i am 50 years young although the grey gives it away so much confusion in my gut if you know what i mean i just want it over already i want to live life knowing darn well i am responsible for it something i do not know how to respond at the thought of them being gone it sounds so vein and by far it isn't that so many women and men die i'm going to go now smack myself around a little get out of the poor me crap i just want to FEEL happy i have many things in my life just be grateful and stop with the grief in my writing i'm sure the confusion is evident i'll get over it get tested do not hesitate or procrastinate may that be the message
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someone who cares eva |
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10-29-2011, 06:23 AM | #2 | |||
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Legendary
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How did your appointment go?
I hope the tests were OK and that you can now stop worrying.
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Eastern Australian Daylight Savings Time and my temperature . |
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10-29-2011, 10:10 AM | #3 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
thank you for asking i posted in the forum "women health" breast gave impression word for word november 10th is the day it is a scary feeling can't help but touch it all the time woke up from a crappy night the weather here isn't helping any however, upon waking i turned the television on and there it was something i need tail end of a high school young man cancer survivor and say, take it as it comes it is like the seasons a beginning and end enjoy life was the message very wise young man divine intervention i try not lingering in and out depression it's in my own head biopsy, and take it from that moment on till then hope all is well with you that you are able and allow yourself happiness to warm your heart i'm trying to figure out how this computer stuff works getting it s l o w l y but found a wonderful group i like connecting with so excuse the rudeness if someone is reaching out and i may not respond as i should when frustrated i push buttons on the key board and just see what happens i will keep you informed thank you for your interest in me and what has been going on lots of happiness your way
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someone who cares eva |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Koala77 (10-29-2011) |
12-06-2011, 02:10 PM | #4 | ||
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Junior Member
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I am brand new to this site. I had breast cancer and had a bi lateral mastectomy on St. Patty's Day. I now am suffering bad with spine and disc issues and will be turning 50 on Saturday. It has been an awful year for me!! One thing to remember is 80% of all biopsies are benign. I'm praying you are one of them!! It's a tough haul, but I am here for any questions, concerns or venting you need! I've been there and done that. My primary care dr says i need surgery on my spine, but is hoping they just keep me comfortable with injections, till my breast reconstruction is complete, and my body can handle another major surgery. They say God never gives us more than we can handle, but i find myself saying why does he trust me so much? I'm praying for you to get good results. Don't back down, stay strong and fight like a girl!! <3 Sandy |
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12-06-2011, 02:36 PM | #5 | ||
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Elder
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I will be thinking of you during your appointment. I think alot of what you feel regarding those parts of your body is normal. If we loose parts of ourselves is is natural to grieve for their loss. That isn't vain, but part of the emotional issues involving loss. It is a loss and you have that right to feel as you do.
I am sorry however for your dreaming state. Sometimes our subconcience does overtime with worry, and makes us dream things that frighten. Life is scarry enough! Tell yourself that and maybe those dreams will go away. I hope and pray for the outcome of your office visit. Please do write back and let us know how you are. You are already being very brave. ginnie |
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12-06-2011, 09:45 PM | #6 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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dear sandy
my biopsy came back positive infiltrating ductal carcinoma my mri is tomorrow i'm told it will take an hour when i got the news i did not expect the findings two of my doctors asked how many children four did you breastfeed yes my last child fed off me for thirty months both said excellent chances are calcification when i got there i thought they are probably are right not so i decided at that moment both are coming off period my grandmother mothers side died from this disease breast i will need your advice not ready yet still doing my homework much thanks i pray you are in a good state all around look forward to our talks i love where you say why does he trust me so much we have work he wants us to do be well sandy you too need a break still recovering from 2 cervical fusion 5/6 6/7 plate and cage last surgery april 15th 2011 lots of things going on
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someone who cares eva |
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12-06-2011, 09:50 PM | #7 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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dear ginnie
blessed by your care and concerns hope someone is taking real good care of you appointment for mri tomorrow keep you informed sweet dreams for you with love
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someone who cares eva Last edited by eva5667faliure; 12-06-2011 at 09:52 PM. Reason: spelling |
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12-07-2011, 10:17 AM | #8 | ||
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Elder
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I am sorry you have that blasted disease. You already have been through alot. As far as myself, I have good support on this end. My best friend, and my son, sick with me through all of my medical conditions. I get most of the emotional support I need. when I am particularly scared I come back to this site for encouragement and information. I am blessed as I am not alone in the struggles we all face. I have glad we have this connection to neruo talk. I will be thinking of you during your surgery. I hope you recover quickly, and have no complications to worry about. It sounds like the support you get at home is good too. Please be good to yourself, of course I care about you, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. ginnie
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12-07-2011, 10:30 AM | #9 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.
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These forums are for mutual support and information sharing only. The forums are not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider. Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here. |
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12-07-2011, 12:18 PM | #10 | ||
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Magnate
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Eva, I know it is a lot for you to handle. We all care about and for you. I previously mentioned to you about an oil painting I did of the Image of Divine Mercy. This painting was venerated in a Church for 13 years and now is in my living room. The inscription at the bottom is "Jesus I Trust In You". I pray before that image and ask that you are able to" give it all to God". Easy to say; but so hard for us to do. This prayer is for all of us here on this site as well. |
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