So this will be pretty much the end of the journey.

He’s found his sobriety, (despite drinking last week, but the naltrexone takes away the craving and in drinking it doesn’t get the high he used to get) so he has his sobriety. The efforts I’ve put in to help him sustain and achieve sobriety have all been slapped in my face. I’ve emasculated him, I’ve not supported him, he’s resentful of me and has been unhappy for 2 years and wanted to leave. Now he’s found a younger woman who will do everything for him it’s time to leave.

This all came out at the counsellor and why I wanted to see his Psych because I knew then he couldn’t lie. She told me he’s been complaining about me from the time he started seeing her. His sobriety gave him a new lease on life and he wanted to be off doing things that I couldn’t do. Sure doesn’t sound like the man that lay on the bed for 20 hours a day and journey I’ve described in this journal. But hey he’s always been a good liar. I guess that has not changed. If he wanted to be off doing things it would have been wonderful if he’d got off his butt and done so, then I would not have had to have had the life sapped out of me trying to help him.

I can’t see any way back from this. I certainly won’t be pursuing him or helping him in any way at all ever again.

Dear lovely lady
All of it in YOUR time
All of it
Me

Great thoughts from Eva.

Your time indeed, and your terms.

I'm reminded once again that, as humans, all we really have is honesty and integrity. When we start telling lies, or ignore the truth, we lose everything, including ourselves. And it often starts with a few small ones, to end up with a web that is just impossible to clean up.

And just to be clear, I am not referencing PJ here.

Let this thread be a statue for all us people with addictions out there. You can get help for your addiction, you can recover. But you can not recover from untruths.

Dear friend
So beautifully said
So simple yet so so deep in meaning
And let’s do salute
It is a cruel world
I so cannot imagine chasing lies
And how embarrassing for those when I call them on it
For some they are mindful
For other
Well let’s just say this
I have many acquaintances
And I can count on one hand those I trust
You are on the money
Sobering to many to live a life as such
It isn’t difficult
And I cannot for the life of me understand why one would want to chase falsehood
Wide-O
Sobriety is a good thing
I wish the rest of the world have what we have
Amen
Keep on trucking
Me

The final move will be Thursday. He will be gone from my life. Our beloved Bronson DD to the vets this Friday. Rainbow bridge crossing likely. And I will bear this in my own, ToBi DD will be gone with him all I will have left is my beloved Bono DD, also 12 same as Bronson, pining already as he notices the changes in our dynamics. The departure of DB ToBi and Bronson will be a huge blow to his little mind. He loves his mates. He will be lost with out them, as will I.

As ever, my thoughts are always with you.