Hi judylouwho

I am glad you were able to release your feelings about all this here

Honestly, that is why I believe so firmly in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for OCD and also other behavioral issues. Unlike meds, which really just cover up symptoms, CBT helps one understand these thoughts and behaviors and develop coping skills that really work! This in turn reduces stress and anxiety levels and so also helps overall. If you take a look at the Useful Websites sticky thread at the top of this OCD forum, you will finf some very helpful info on CBT and OCD

Some over the counter supplements used in combo with CBT, can be very beneficial for many (different people respond differently to the various ones, but generally INOSITOL, a B Vitamin, is well tolerated as is samE (methionine)
Many people find benefit from 5HTP in low dose, but it can make some people very edgy and so should be used with caution, and preferably under doctor supervision)
There are medications for OCD, but they do come with a heap of side effects that one needs to be aware of

Again, I am glad you are here as it is so important to be able to talk about this in a supportive environment.