Hi Majo,
I'm almost out of internet here so can't really reply with much today, but I just wanted to mention a really good book if you can access at the library.

I also wanted to say that there are ways of getting out of the muddle it can become and then to channel those energies or behaviours into very positive ways. Being obsessive about things doesn't always have to end in sadness or confusion.

You sound very sad to me lately. I'm really sorry about that and I hope that you're feeling better soon.

With true OCD, there's usually the obsession which comes first and the compulsion which comes next. Means that there is an action (the compulsion) which is driven by the obsession. Hope that makes sense. That is just how I know it.

Have you talked with your doctor about these feelings you're getting?

The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts
By Lee Baer
http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/.../159/11/1952-a
Great book about OCD below if you're interested as well.
Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior
by Jeffrey M. Schwartz, Beverly Beyette

Thank you for replying Lara, you are always very kind with me.

I have told my doc about this as Im not sure if this is really an illness, I mean, something that can be treated or just, my mood... Does that make sense or Am I sounding too silly ???

You are right, I have been pretty sad and lost these past days/weeks... I just feel lost, that's it.... It's difficult for me even to decide what I want to do or not...

And, right now, I have like a crisis, where Im afraid of doing things I like because I have fear, fear of like, I said before, that this hobbies can at the end, give me trouble and sadness....

Is like I have 2 Majos now.... One says: Paint, but the other says Dont paint, you will end feeling obsessed..... and I feel sad if I dont paint, but I also feel sad if I paint because I feel stressed...

Heck, I feel so stupid and crazy right now.... saying all this...

Thanks for the books suggestions !