I am excited and yet terrified to take this beginning water color class.
It starts on tuesday.
I just went out to the shed (you may remember this)that we fixed up almost 7 years ago to be my art studio, it is in shambles the ceiling is falling down there is rat poop everywhere....all of my supplies were still just sitting there some nibbled on.
It just made me want to cry.
The shed is not a good studio, too humid...there was mold growing all over my papers and the table and the chair....

This has been a long time in coming but am wanting to try again.
I want to learn how to paint again.....sob...this scares me so.
I used to be able to paint...I have lots of work from before that I was looking at, stacks of it. Most of it was done while I was manic...
ok I am crying again....
so I guess I just start over...I pick myself up and start over.....
bizi

Dear Bizi,

You should be so proud of yourself for having the courage to resume painting.

I’m sorry about the state of your studio, but frankly, it sounds way tidier than my office. Treat yourself to a new set of supplies and plant your easel in the sunniest spot in your house.

Beth,

It is scary to get back to something we gave up for maybe fear that we won't follow thru on it? If you can find the source of your fear it will probably be easier to work on that fear. I have beginner's photography class on Tuesday and I suppose I'm scared I won't even make it to class. In this case I will tell myself that there will be other classes if I don't make it. I honestly can't get into it yet like I use to though.

barbara

This is a beginners class, and I need to start at ground zero again.
the supplies list was confusing so I put in a call to the instructor who has not called me back, want to make sure I have the right brushes....even if I don't it will be ok, it is a 6 week class. I will just bring what I have.
It was so damn depressing going into that shed today....I just left every thing a mess and locked it back up.
Someday I have to face all of that mess and clean it up/out.
It is about commitment.
It is always about commitment ...am I going to participate 100% or not.
In the lst 2 drawing classes I did not practice at home...so I did not progress. I have to practice to get any good at anything.
What is depressing is that I look back at my past work and some of it was really good. Wa s it the mania working or do I really have that in me?
I do know that I am just going to have to start at square one.
I wish I had an art room, there is not any space for me to set up a table for my painting...don't want to use the dining room table and move stuff all of the time....
WAit a minute!!!!!
I just brought in the table that was in the shed(cleaned it up) and set it up in the computer room(his room) it fits just perfectly...I don't know why I did not think of this before. It cleaned up nicely and isnt in the way really, hope hubby doesn't mind.
the spare bed room is "my room" but it is also the guest bedroom my office and his nail station and my art supplies were just piling up on the bed...I did not have any place to work.
Now I do!
He gets home tomorrow around 2pm. I will be happy to see him, I have missed him alot!I have been so emotional since he has been gone.

bizi

yes this is that. The 2 drawing classes I did not take seriously, I was just doing them for fun (I called it my art therapy)and feeling very good for being able to just show up.
I liked my instructor....that is why I took the class again.
good luck with your photo class! thanks for the encouragement.
thank you coach too. I appreciate your support.

lol.... all 3 of the cats have come to check out the new table and chair...lol

Beth,

I am so glad that you have worked out an art station in your home. I love the arts. I have been enjoying the time spent with Bobby stuff and not thinking too much about my photography. I can understand how much you miss your hubby and how being emotional without him there presents itself. He's your best friend and without one it does get scary.

Thank you!
That is very sweet of you to say that.
He is my best friend and I need him more than ever.
In August we celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary.
He has been with me thru thick and thin, sometimes I think he is the only one who really understands me.
It has been an emotional day. I found out tonight that my parents dog died, his name was cooper and he was a great dog!
May he RIP....
bizi

Dear Bizi,

Your art will be different this time. You colors will be different, the brush strokes will be different, and so on.
You are in a different time and space in your heart and your head so it makes sense that you will need a different area to do art.
Going back to something that worked for us in the past brings both challenges and thrills.
I am happy for you.


I am glad that you have your kitties around you tonight. They are grounding and real

M.

Beth, it won't be long now and your hubby will be home. Sorry to hear about your parent's dog. Have a good week.

barbara

Beth

I'm sorry to hear about your parents dog too.

I am looking forward to hearing about your art classes.

Donna