Jackie is doing well first off, school is going well and he had no trouble making the transition to 6th grade. He hasn't been as aggressive as he was over summer, but that's because he's not here like he was over summer, he doesn't have the time to work up to being so bored he has to act out to entertain himself.

Well what's got me majorly excited on one hand and kinda down on the other is I begun a new Physical Therapy specially designed for Amputees. It's called "Mirror Therapy" and it's basically putting a mirror down between my leg and stump and angling it so it looks like I have two legs again to fool my brain into repetively seeing the left leg moving WITHOUT PAIN so it can make fresh neural pathways to use instead of the choppy ones from the past where it was basically amputated in the accident 21 yrs ago.

I go in again today and I am telling them it evoked some feelings I was kind of expecting, the feelings about why did I have to lose my leg, why am I disabled, basically self-pity ones that I hate, but have to deal with because they ARE there deep inside. I can't believe how it was when I squinted my eyes a bit, that seemed to help make the ghost leg of mine interact with the illusion of the left leg we were projecting. I was amazed and definitely had less pain yesterday.

So that is what I've been up to. Working on myself with this book the therapist recommended Codependent No More, and preparing for the therapy I just began yesterday. I wanted to check in and let you all know things are a bit better, but still not where I want them to be. Have a great day everyone!

I have a new favorite song, it's hard rock though, but here are the lyrics:

In this farewell
There's no blood
There's no alibi
Cause I've drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands
Of uncertainty

So let mercy come
And wash away

What I've done
I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

For what I've done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I'm forgiving what I've done

I'll face myself
To cross out what I've become
Erase myself
And let go of what I've done

What I've done
Forgiving what I've done

Linkin Park is a very good band!

im so glad things are starting to head in the right direction for you. this new therapy sounds intriguing and i cant wait to hear more about it.

Thanks meghan! I just got back and it was hard work today but the pain I used to feel, when I moved the stump, it was like pins and needles you feel when your arm or leg falls asleep, it's not happening anymore after just two therapy sessions! I am fully amazed. It's just wonderful that this is helping me, I expect the phantom to totally get reigned in and be in control of my mind soon, it's fascinating how this works!

And I agree Linkin' Park is a totally awesome band!

Pam,

It looks like things are going good again. I am glad. You take care now.

befuddled2

Thanks befuddled2. Things are looking up for the moment but I know it's only a breather, the hard stuff is yet to come...

Dear Pam,

I remember reading that researchers were using mirror therapy with veterans of the Iraqi war:

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/563972
Mirror Therapy Also Effective Against Lower-Limb Phantom Pain

This is all very exciting that you find that the therapy is working.
I'm happy for you.

Mari

wow!!!!!
this is very exciting!
so happy for you....sending good thoughts your way.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

That is so amazing! It must be a huge relief to finally get some freedom from the pain!
Its also a good situation with Jackie! Maybe this program was exactly what he needed!
Congrads all around!
Bobi

Yes! It's wonderful and I love the fact that the pain is not up to 9 on a scale of 1-10, 1 being take me to the hospital the Physical Therapist said the other day.

Jackie is being pretty bad today, hugging me too tightly on purpose, shoving his chin into my throat, it's just been a bad day because they cancelled school here today due to the storm.

It's been a bit windy but nothing earth shattering.