I am still depressed and exhausted. I think it is both a bipolar depression and psychological one because of my change in finances. I have been having a lot of nightmares. I have also skipped some medication. I know I shouldn't.
My house keeper is working out great. The only problem is that now that the apartment is becoming more organized and clean I am focusing on deeper issues that bother me. I am also listening to a lot of Sting....I don't know if that is helping or hurting me. I have had some bad thoughts but give myself pep talks.
Bobby

Dear Morgy,
I've been hoping for an update.
Tell your pdoc to find you a magic pill. We really should have one available to us by now. :D

I wonder if that is one reason I avoid organizing my stuff -- for fear of having to deal with the other stuff in my head next.

I suspect that you will adjust to the newly organized apartment. I hope that the nightmares goes away.
And I'm glad that you have a good housekeeper.
I have to find one but am not even sure how to start. Maybe I can ask around in my new apt complex -- but that would mean that I would have to start being friendlly and chatty with people.
And hubby doesn't want anyone near his stuff anyway.
mari

BF - glad you checked in here. Oh, how I wish I had a housekeeper.

I do know about the nightmares, I am having horrid dreams/nightmares lately too. It's the situation, I suppose.

I know the financial burden too, it is the worse, plus the worry.

Hang in there - Baby Steps, Hugs, Nikko

Hi there
 

I am hoping that you are doing alright this weekend.
Wanted to ask you if this is a picture of you with your doggies? One of them was named morgy and I don't know the name of the other.
WHo ever it is adorable.
((((HUGS))))
bizi givng morgy a pep talk too.

the avatar is hammy,morgy and me taken about eight or nine years ago....sorry it isn't sharper...
an organized friend sent me this
Organized People Are Too Lazy To Look For Things"..
Today turned into a wonderful day but gave me too much energy...i haven't gone to sleep yet. My former cleaning person called up and asked if she could come over...She said she wanted to help me but not for money. I told her I would love to see her and that I thought we had a special bond. She stayed for three hours...we talked for most of the time...towards the end I couldn't prevent her from cleaning the kitchen a little...My best friend was the one who found her for me and then there was a lot of tension. I have been emailing my best friend but we haven't talked on the phone. The major issue I told her I didn't want to speak on the phone about anyways. It was too troubling. I called her back after Carol left and we had a great conversation and her affect was great. I didn't detect any feelings of anger at me. I was so relieved I knew energy was going to be released. I have really been depressed over my relationship with her and it is almost a forty year relationship...She is a treasure of a friend.....
I found Vera through http://www.craigslist.com -I don't know Mari if you are willing to try that. Vera doesn't go into any drawers or anything. She doesn't clean the computer...although she accidently switched off the power switch the other day -there are also signs in our laundry room for cleaning help...
Bobby

Dear Morgy,
I like your picture of you and your dogs.
For now hubby says that he will do cleaning on weekend. We'll see.

It sounds like you had a nice visit with your former cleaning lady....also a nice talk with your friend Carol.

I went to the mall today with a friend to buy mostly under garments and pajamas and a couple of t-shirts to wear with jeans.

Mari

that is odd, mari your time sstamp on your last post here is before the tiem post of bobbys right before it....
anyway.
YOu guys are both up so late....
wonder if you have found the night owls forums?
wonder too if they chat this late in the chat rooms.
Glad that you got to go shopping mari with a friend and that you bobby had such good conversations with your people/friends in your life.
For me: 3 hour conversations can throw me into hypo mania,or rather maybe I am hypomanic and then have 3 hour conversations...
ya know chicken ,egg......
anyway, too much emotional interactions can do that for me too.
one hour should be my limit.
have a good day and rest.
(((HUGS))))
bizi

Hi Morgy, I love your avatar, so cute.

How are you doing today? Check in when you can.

Hugs, Nikki:)

I am so glad you like the picture of hammy morgy and me....they were so handsome and cute...at the same time...who me prejudice..?no way
I know about overstimulation from too much people interaction...it gets painful too but I wanted so hard to try to understand Carol and what happened...It caused me a lot of pain when she abruptly stopped coming to the apartment...Although she is unrealistic, she is like sunshine...
Mari, I hope your husband does do the cleaning on the weekends....that sounds like the perfect solution....and I am glad you had the energy to go to the mall...I think i buy everything from the internet and mostly from ebay. or amazon or half.com.
My medications are definitely not working...I am taking a ton too. I see dr moussavian now that I switched to seeing him every third week. I am chain smoking, obsessively listening to music and pushing myself to read. A lot of times now I just lie in bed and have racing thoughts about all the things I am worried about. My nerves are totally shot...and I feel so overburdened. Of course I hardly leave the apartment, do no or hardly no cleaning and no cooking..hardly look at the mail..in other words except for smoking, listening to music and reading and petting and feeding the cats, and thinking, and taking my medications which I now resent since they interfere I think with sharp thinking and have made me gain so much weight...(I have to force myself to take the medications now...) I have tried to remove as much stress from my life as possible and at the same time, my anxiety appears to be increasing and I am finding I am doing less and less.
I had a lot of stressful things happen this summer and heavy stress this fall so maybe I am still reeling from that. It is awfully painful here.
Bobby

Hi - Maybe it would be a good idea to call your doctor and tell him you feel the meds aren't working. Did your Dr. recently change your meds?

((((((((((((((((((((((Morgy))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))))))))

Go easy, baby steps, please get in touch with your Dr. too.

Keep posting, Nikko;)