I seem to be growing more irritable and depressed....a friend told me I should let everything go and that is the only way to get better. If I make a commitment to let go of things that cause me stress I will be on my way.
Tonight I have been trying to focus on that. I feel the depression in my forehead which is weird...I have never had a physical feeling of depression just symptoms of exhaustion,detachment etc...
I am afraid I am going to be up the whole night. I have been in such a foul mood lately...
Bobby
ps the social worker from the city came yesterday and told me that the city didn't need to send a cleaning crew out and she would probably come only one more time and then close the case.
then tonite the cleaning guy who I thought I was going to use but who didn't call me back, called me back. He said he was sorry but his wife just had a baby boy two weeks ago and things got very hectic. I told him about Vera and that I thought he didn't want any part of my apartment and that is why I hired her but if things didn't work out with her, I would use him. It was a very friendly call.

Dera Bobby,
Just my 2 cents...having to think about getting rid of your cats does sound really depressing.
and thinking about having to move twice sounds really stressful.
I wonder if you could find a cheaper apartment there and and stil keep your cats.
there are advantages and disadvantages to everything...some times it helps to write it out amybe you could do that before your aptt. with your pdoc?
You don't have to do anything right now....slow down.
bizi

Take it one day at a time. It is good to have goals to look forward to and plan for. I wouldn't give up my pets though, sign up for Rent Clinks and Rent.com then pick the area. You will get daily emails about places.

That way you can see the places, prices, what they have, and whether they accept pets. Usually, cats are accepted much more, especially in the south, same for dogs in the south.

Hugs, Nikko

I forgot one thing, look and see what local newspapers are in the area you are looking in NC. Then sign up for them online, it's usually free, and get daily news, plus you will be able to also look at the classified for places to live.


Nikko

Dear Morgy,
That is good news about the case closing soon.
When I get physical symptoms I can usually put the palm of my hand over the spot (head ache) and kind of breathe into with yoga breathing.

Our own hands are healing.

It's much much harder to get cleaning people than it should be. I am still amazed about how they inspect the place before they agree to it. They make more per hour than lots of more important jobs --


I haven't looked for a cleaner because I know hubby would be against it -- he doesn't trust people with his stuff and hubby can more or less do most of our clearning. It is the "more or less" part that is tricky!

Mari

I guess I am in a psychological depression...I distinguish between a psychological versus a chemical(bipolar) one....I have been chain smoking and getting haagen daz ice cream and doing silly things like staring at the ceiling fan as it moves around.
I see dr moussavian tomorrow and am curious what type of advice he will give me. There is no pattern to my sleeping...there is almost like no pattern to anything except to my smoking....
Bobby

Hi - Chain smoking - I am doing the same thing, I can't help it, and ice cream at night when I am watching TV. We are like two peas in a pod.


It's good your case is coming to a close. I hope my DV one does on Friday, and justice is served.


I hope you appointment goes well, you usually sound upbeat after an appt. with your p-doc.

You take care today, and remember you come first, do something nice for yourself today. Check in too.

Hugs, Nikko

BOBBY!!! (((((((Hugs)))))))
I've wondered how you were getting along during the outage!! Your pdoc sounds wonderful.
Good job on the steps to get the apartment organised. (Makes you want to punch Martha Stewart in the nose doesn't it lol)

Here's a thought - don't know if it would actually help any but y'all know me and my love of rambling lol - since the thing you are doing consistantly is smoking, use that to your advantage! Start a new "habit" and from now on each time you light a cig, do something you need to do along with it. Like:

**Light a cig, walk to some unnecessary paper/garbage, throw it away.**

Then you can say you are cleaning consistantly too.

****hugs**** Amazing how much you miss people you have never met in person.
Bobi

((((((Bobby)))))),

I haven't been able to keep up. Dang computer ate my store spreadsheet -- dislike immensely MicroCrap software :mad:

I just thought of two things: make sure you apply for a Section 8 Certificate (see if you can apply now before you move -- that would mean that you could move into any type of housing). Also, the Mennonite ladies in The South do housecleaning for really reasonable prices. These women are absolute Saints. My Momma made a huge mess when she was sick and dying in South Carolina. The Mennonite lady just came in said "poor dear must have been really suffering" and cleaned up the whole thing. She was barely out of high school. I read in the local newspaper that she went on to become an RN -- it just absolutely figures. She's that special kind of a soul.

You're gonna love The South. It's totally different there. More civilized. People are kinder and more helpful. The weather's better. Makes me wonder why I moved :rolleyes:

BIG HUGS. I hope that you and Nikko can get to a place where you both can give up the ciggies. I really hate them for what they did to my EX-husband (my son's Father).

A couple of other ways to get 'things' done when you don't really feel like it: (1) Set the timer for 15 minutes and DO STUFF for 15; when the 15 minutes is over, go back to doing what you REALLY want to do for 45 minutes -- rinse and repeat :D . (2) Get a small box or a small basket. Fill it full and just process that much "stuff" every day. Eventually you'll get to the bottom of the pile :p

I love Craigslist too. Been looking for high school yearbooks for the town that I was born in. My Brother and I moved two years before we graduated (still hate my Mom for doing that to us). I've been able to find my graduation yearbook. Now, I'm looking for my Brother's. I just got a lead this weekend -- the guy won't be able to tell me until next week if he can get it back from the person he sold it to.

BIG HUGS. Stay strong.

Barb

Dear Morgy,
I am working on letting go too.

My accupunturist told me to say these things throughout the day:
"I let go"
"I release"

She thinks I am fighting my control issues.
The hyponotherapist is working along the same lines too.

How would one know the difference between a pyschological and a bipolar depression? I thought that they overlapped?

Have a good visit with Dr. M. tomorrow.


Mari