I agree with you 100% about telling her all of this, and emphasizing it however much is needed so that she gets it. Her job is to deal with your situation, and it also seems to me from what you have said, that she doesn't get the picture. She may have some idea of you feeling tired - but not HOW tired. It's beyond tired, it's fatigue. And it isn't just weight, or just being unfit, or just the meds, or the diabetes, or... on top of it all, "just" having pernicious anemia! EACH of those causes fatigue. And you have ALL of them!!! Yes, drum it in.

Maybe you can get across to her. I hope so!

Am i reading right... you feel as though you are running hypomanic? That's a toughie to balance out with "feeling more alive." I know just how THAT feels because i feel that way tapering my benzo! But i did start to lean hypo. Call Dr. M if you are sleeping even less, since lowering the risperdal OR starting the Celexa. Celexa is an SSRI remember... so that could be affecting you too. Let him know if you sense that you could be getting hypo. Maybe you metabolize it slower than most people, and if so, you might do well on a smaller than typical dose.

glad that you are being vigilant. hang in there.

love

~ waves ~

I have been getting around three hours sleep since the market caved in. I tried raising the risperdal to see if that would help with sleep but it didn't.
i have been crashing the past two days. I have to work on having faith and trust in God and that I am overworrying about what would happen to me if I run out of money. Then I think I could sleep more. I am also begging to deal with feelings of abandonment and rejection. I feel the pain. Maybe I could discuss those issues with her and see what she comes up with for combatting the childhood residue.
Love
Bobby

Dear Bobby,

i think you have some good ideas.

gosh. so the celexa isn't causing it. yikes. i hate to suggest more klonopin you are already taking plenty. and, as i mentioned, i am tapering my benzo and noticing more energy - when i suggested to my pdoc that perhaps it has been subtley robbing me of energy and even causing apathy he said that was indeed quite possible. and when i didn't sleep due to worry... that was even less energy. i'm realizing now those meds can be a bit of a catch-22.

crashing as in more sleep, or crashing as in mood down?yes, i think that would help. also, have you tried deep belly breathing exercises? it is a mechanical way of inducing a more relaxed state.

that sounds like a good idea. give the sessions a good ol' change of direction. perhaps she will be able to come through in that area. and if you are actively suffering from it, now's a good time to try to tackle it. if it is too much you can always back off. you are the client and you get to pick what to work on.

love
~ waves ~

This is true bobby,
you get to decide what you work on in therapy.
good advice waves.
hugs to you today
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi

i just feel so awful. i have a cold on top of everything. right now i don't seem to care about anything and i am asking God for his forgiveness but I guess he knows I can't help it and that i really am grateful but just can't feel it.
It is just so painful
Bobby

oh bobby,
I do hope that you are feeling better soon.
I give you some suggestions, rest when you can.... pretend to take a nap if that helps, snuggle up with a good book, drink plenty of warm fluids, be nice to yourself, give yourself a hug a real hug from me.
I am sorry you are struggling so.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

my friend Attie said i am going through impotent rage and can't fight the suffering. it will just make it worse. I just took a bubble bath which made me feel a little better and orderedchinese food with a big container of soup.
I will ask Dr.M if he can raise the celexa. i am upset about not taking my walk with robert and wonderdog mickey and am afraid i am losing momentum. I just feel awful
bobby