HI,

I was in a bad way last night.
I thought I was losing it.
I did self talk until I fell sleep.
I'm frightened.
I had 4.5 hours of sleep and have to be at work.

I have been skipping appoints with the orthodontist. I just called. The first day that they and I have open is May 10.

I might have to get an MDs note. I've discussed this with two colleagues without telling them more than a little bit -- not much. Frankly, I'm upset that I did come out to them the little bit that I did. I'm disturbed that I had to reveal stuff to them. VERY UPSET.

One colleague tells me that our big boss should accept "personal medical problem" without a note. If she requires a note, then, according to him, she is showing how awful she is.

I have to meet with the big boss about some other issues entirely next week that are even more important to me than the outside event this weekend and I am freaking out about that. She has been supportive in the past but I am getting a different vibe from her now.

My immediate supervisor has us all screaming. She is truly awful.
Morale in my group is low. We have not been able to help each other the way we have in the past. From my group the supervisor has fired one and pushed another into retirement -- both of them this week. We are devastated by the losses.

M.

Dear Mari
 

What a dreadful week and your boss sounds like a real witch. uh-oh my timer just went off (cooking) ... more thoughts in a little while.

for now good thoughts your way...

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

oh it has been an awful week.
perhaps you could be worrying about your job security....
I would try to get md orders...to back up your personal needs to document your limitations.
sorry that you veel bad about sharing info about yourself...they should hold confidences and not spread you business.
Good luck with the next few weeks, it sounds very challenging.
anyway to go to the big boss or human resources and aren't there anti discrimination laws that could help you. You could also use the stroke as a medical excuse couldn't you?
((((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi,

The big boss told me to get a note from my doc and put it on file in HR.

I'm done thinking about that stupid Saturday event now.
(It starts at 8:00 am and goes for hours and hours in the sun!!!
I will be home sleeping. :D)

I feel better already.


M.

yippee!!!!!:yahoo:

((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I am so glad that event is out of the way, like a weight being lifted off the chest, at least one brick out of the wall.
Truly sucks to have a work environment like that. It is not healthy for anyone.
Wishing you peace, and rest
di

extra Klonopin
 

HI,
In Nov / Dec I reduced my Klonopin from 2.5 to 2 mgs without telling pdoc.

For the next two days I am going to raise it to 3.0.
Then I'll do 2.5 (my prescribed dose) for the next two weeks and re-evaluate.

I am really really wound up.
Depressed and close to not coping.

M.

Dear Mari
 

glad that the big boss gave you a clear course of action and that you can stay home and sleep today. i am so sorry to hear about losing your two colleagues that would be frightening and depressing - i agree with Di, very unhealthy work environment.

regarding the Klonopin, i really hope that it helps and that you will feel more settled soon.

i would feel a little better if you would let your pdoc know what is going on, and what you are doing. for the long term he might even be able to provide an alternative to the K. i realize that, for the moment, you need to use tools you have - you are the best judge on the what and how much. i also realize you might not want to 'fess up to pdoc and that benzo scripts are strictly monitored which complicates things further. but it seemed like your pdoc was pretty receptive when you went through the hassle with the Xanax, so maybe it wouldn't be a problem. he is on your side.

~ waves ~

I am sorry you are going thru this...hoping that your changes help you feel better.
what about taking the klonipin thru out the day(2 doses) instead of one dose?
bizi

extra Klonopin
 

OK
So maybe it was not a good idea to up my dose by 30 percent.

Whoa. I've been shall we say r e l a x e d.
Maybe a bit stoned too.


Last night's dose of 3.0 is wearing off a little.
Maybe I'll just take 2.5 tonight, not sure.

M.