Thanks so much waves for saying that.

I didn't think about the posture thing and the other things you mentioned that does makes sense. I am going to call them in the morning and see if I can find out what kind of things they do for this...cause it's going to be sooooo hard to get to appointments for things for a while. Things are so crazy....yes can take a taxi, but with no money that is kinda hard. We'll just have to see. Might not be able to start till next week or I don't know.

Anyways, am up again with another headache, not as bad as the others but they turn bad or they have been later. So far have gotten almost 4 hours of sleep tonight so that is pretty good compared to where I was a month ago.

Thanks again for all your support.
Hugs,
Jen

Dear Jen,
 

The folks in physical therapy will find a way to help you.
You'll get some kind of benefit.

Next week is good.
You can look forward to getting someone to tend to you.
M.

Jen

I am going to give you a different perspective on the PT and all the
good they do. And I can totally answer about the headache things.

I have had headaches forever. But I have never been sent for headaches
per say. But the thing is when I have been there for things bad say in
my arms or my shoulders. Or the days I had a really stiff neck that took
6 months to get one side to move at all. And the thing on that was
I went the day my therapist was going to dismiss me and said. Look at
what I can do. And it moved we both hugged and celebrated. She took
me around the therapy center to show others. Because it was such a big
deal. She had felt so bad to have to dismiss me with out it moving the
week before.

But I degress, I was there this last spring for a stiff neck. And had severe
headaches and nothing was working. And she tried some things that had
worked before when I came for other things. And we thought in a week
we would try the traction because it worked on stiff necks and headaches
for me. But it wasn't available that day. And she needed permission
both.

But she decided to get a therapy assistant that had what she called
magic hands. And he really did, he did some special moves to my neck
and asked some questions and magically my headache was gone.

It stayed away for a week as it was. It was the first time in about 2 weeks
I hadn't had one. When it returned she asked him how to work through
it again. But also used the tractions because we had permission.

That time it turned out my headaches were tensions because of the stiff neck. He gave me ideas to work with my headaches.
Donna

Thanks for the information, I made appointments so I start next week sometime if I can get there.

I am feeling like the worst person in the world right now. I have been up for 3 hours again and the sun is up and have things to do today. I am going to have the place to myself for most of the day. have cleaning should do and laundry should do...we'll see. I want to curl up in a ball and rock and cry. I really don't know what has brought this all on.

today is usually a therapy day and i don't see her today so maybe that has something to do with it. there is no reason to call her and she is always so busy on days like today cause she is there for like 10 hours or so. she is only in town 1 day a week so she stacks her clients up.

i really don't know how much more i can take right now. not knowing if i have the new place or not is driving me crazy. I have so much that is on my mind that i try and write it down and my words come out backwards or letters get mixed up and that frusterates me even more. I have been thinking too fast so when i type i am typing the next word instead of what needs to be before that...if that even makes sense????

it's not like am not going to survive or anything and this stuff isn't a big deal, i just need to deal better...i get it from my dad, stress about everything only he is extreme about it. That is why it so intense in here...i don't want come in door anymore.

oh well,
tc,
jen

Jen
It makes perfect sense.

And I think you do need to call her. If she would have time to talk to
you on the phone I think it might help you a lot. I personally think
its the fact that you have lots on your mind that is making you need
to do all the writing so fast and typing the wrong things.

I know how it is. Because I do the same thing. But not because of
having to much on my mind. Just because I'm trying to type to fast.

But I think yo;u need to try and get one thing done at a time.
Like if you need to do laundrly, then say, I'm going to do my laundry
now. Then get it ready and do it.

Then take a 20 minute break after its done. And then do something
else. But while the laundry is washing maybe take a catnap.

Since you don't sleep long anyway. Then go move it to the dryer.
Since you need to do both put them together.

Then while its in the dryer. If you need to relax a while. Do that.
If I could get in a bathtub I would. I'm getting close to being able
too. So I might try soon. That would relax me.

Donna

Well at least got my laundry done...

jen

Jen,
That's a good day for me -- when I get something (anything) done. :Grin-Nod: :Tip-Hat: :Dancing-Chilli:
M.

I give up....can't hardly do anything with the back pain, don't care about my head.
Have pushed things away so much over the past month that yesterday while home alone it all rushed back...flashbacks, dissociation, memories...hate it and can't do this.

jen

Jen
So sorry you feel so bad. I can totally understand pain. I wish i could
help you with this. I can't remember do you take any muscle relaxers.

I am here if you need help.

Donna:grouphug:

yes i take the generic of soma

Hi everyone,

I want to start out by saying sorry to all that have been such a big support for me here. I wish that I was better and healthy, however I am not right now. I have been doing some thinking and am wondering if I should just stop coming here and posting. I feel like all I say is negative and am not bipolar so probably souldn't even be in this forum? Anyways, I feel that I just bring bad vibes in and I don't want anyone to think am not listening and trying the wonderful suggestions.

I feel have done too much talking and complaining about myself and my disabilities and not enough good things, just can't find those right now.

Am sorry but I think that it's probably wise for me to leave and let u all know that am very thankful to each and every one of you. You are all very nice and supportive and encouraging. You are all beautiful people and I wish you the best.

Hugs,
Jen

sorry i didn't catch your post before
 

Dear Jen

other people post here who are not bipolar. being bipolar isn't a requirement. and those who are also post about other stuff - not just bipolar stuff! you have depression which we can all relate to because it is also a part of bipolar. but we also have other issues in common as well.

secondly as far as saying negative things, when someone is going through a really rough time, like you are, it is pretty normal. it is ok. you are not in good shape. we get that! and being in good shape is definitely not a requirement! and you need more support right now because of it.

"From each according to his ability, to each according to his need"
- Karl Marx

and there is a positive aspect i should remind you of. others who don't necessarily post might benefit from reading your posts and the replies - folks who are hurting and may not even be up to posting for themselves.

~ waves ~

Sorry, i feel like such a huge burden on everyone here and such a negative influence on people who are getting better. I don't even know what to say. I feel like if I left that hearing my crap would benefit everyone.

I just want to get a handle on things ya know? I am going downhill and I don't know how to stop. I want to get better, and then hearing things that my mom says and my insomnia specialist says just put me down even farther. I don't even know how to describe things and my memory is horrible. I have had ECT on 3 different occasions I have been told....and have severe dissociation as well...and things just have gotten to the point that my memory is failing and it's frusterating me.

I am sorry for everything. I just am at a loss right now and don't know how to deal with this.

Thanks,
Jen

i am sorry you feel so bad. :o i know the feeling of wanting to get a handle on things and going downhill and not knowing how to stop. i wish i knew of a formula to fix that. i could use it myself.

if you are not up to posting, it is ok. don't feel you have to. but you mustn't worry about being a negative "influence" here. these forums are for support. if people didn't feel bad they wouldn't even be here!

so please keep posting whenever you feel up to it.

we can't change your situation and we may not always have advice, but we can listen and keep you company. :hug:

~ waves ~

Jen

I'm one that doesn't have bipolar. But I find this to be the most supportive
forum on the internet. Its just a fantastic room. And I really enjoy being a part of it. I really enjoy being a part of this room.

I really want you to stay around. And I want you to know that we are
here when you need us.

So Just come if you want. We will be here.

Donna