NeuroTalk Support Groups

NeuroTalk Support Groups (https://www.neurotalk.org/)

- Bipolar Disorder (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/)

- - BJ (https://www.neurotalk.org/bipolar-disorder/133759-bj.html)

there you are!!!!!
I am so glad that you have checked in with us here.
When you don't..... we just worry the worst.
I don't mean to lecture you but
I thought we were family?
Please post when you are up to it just don't wait for soooo long between posts.
We love you and miss you and are worried about you.
Last we heard from you.... you were undergoing cancer treatments......
are those done? I hope so they were making you so terribly sick.
I want you to know that you don't have to wear a mask here.
we are here to support you.
Please let us do that.
thank you for posting...
I hope that you post in the sos forums as they miss you dearly as well.
love you:hug:
bizi

Dear BJ, http://bestsmileys.com/butterfly/3.gif

Welcome. I missed you. Thank you for posting!!!!!

You can feel safe here. Be free of worries. Post what you feel.

M.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BJ (Post 700639)

People always say there's light at the end of the tunnel. But what if that tunnel is black as coal with no way out. Where is hope?

I know tomorrow I will be alone, a day as dark as night. I can't get it out of my head that I was born to follow in my brother's footsteps. It took a lot of courage what he did but I can't even do that right.

I hope tomorrow will be different, but I know different.

I'm sorry for isolating myself. I don't know why I do it. I just sometimes think, like my brother did, who would care. But if he only knew a lot of people cared. Why can't I feel that? Why do I shut people out? I'm just so tired of wearing this mask.

Bizi thanks for reaching out to me. I just don't want to bring people down. :hug:

Hi BJ I'm so glad that you checked in. I'm so sorry that you are going through a prolonged period of sorrow. Please keep yourself in the palms of God's hands.

Things have gotten a little better for me. Things should get better for you.
I hope that the cancer is under control,and gone. BF:hug::hug::hug:

:circlelove: Dear BJ :circlelove:

i am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad to see a post from you this morning!!! :) :)

:trampoline::Head-Spin:

i too am wondering where you are at with the cancer treatments... hoping its just a bad memory and you are just having checkups now... but i don't know the reality...

i am sorry the tunnel seems black... maybe you are in a very twisty turny tunnel that does have an end but before each twist and turn it looks like a dead end... and then you turn, and it looks like another...

the road to Santa Cruz is like that ... curve after curve... it always looks like the road stops and you're gonna drive off the cliff ... it's actually "fun" if you like to drive... (except when Neurontin hits exceptionally hard! :rolleyes:).

but i assure you, the road doesn't end, it endds up in Santa Cruz, which is delightful. by day and by night. :)

have you ever wondered about whether this thing you have with following in your brother's footsteps, might be a way that you are trying to "connect" with him... i mean certainly it would be a dangerous self-fulfilling prophecy... but i understand how it can make sense to you in certain ways.... do you think it could be something like that? if so, maybe it would help to try and reframe your relationship and loss of him, emotionally... ? perhaps by finding new ways in your life to connect to his life.... that sort of thing. maybe do some things that he would have enjoyed, or that he would have been happy if you or someone done them... (i don't know i'm shooting in the dark here).

i hope you are able to post again soon. sending you lots of love BJ.

~ waves ~

(((((((Hugs))))))):hug::hug:,and more (((((((Hugs))))))) BF

Bj
you are such a special type of person who makes people gravitate towards you..your spirit is incredible....you have a powerful gift. we care so much.
i am so relieved that you posted and so sad that you have felt you had to isolate from us...you are so worthy ...i don't know why you isolate...you must be in so much pain...maybe it is a protection. but love is healing and we love you. please keep on posting.
bobby

That's so true. We love you BJ. We are all struggling,and we all need to talk to each other. BF:hug::hug::hug:

Yes Bizi I hope we are family. I only have one thing on my mind right now and it's hard to shake off. Yes Waves I do want to connect with my brother, more than anything in the world. I want to share but I'm terrified. It's hard to explain. I'm so tired. I'm going on 3 days without sleep. I need to sleep.

I hope you can sleep tonight.
((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))
I don't know what meds you're on right now.....
If you have any anti anxiety meds maybe you could take more of those.
bizi

I understand. There are times when I don't feel like writing what I'm feeling like either. I hope that you get some rest tonight. BF:hug::hug::hug: