Kay, you haven't let anybody down...

just remember, practice makes perfect! ;)

keep quitting. it's a bit of a process. even for those who manage to stay "on the wagon" ... it's still a process. beating yourself up won't speed up the process (it's kindof a human part of the process for most of us, i know, but it's a part that is best dispensed with as much as possible ;)) ... try to just take stock, and give it another whirl when you are ready. when you find yourself thinking, geez i couldn't even stay quit a whole day... talk back to yourself... say, hey! but i did stay away for 4 whole hours even though i wanted one after 2! mark those little successes! every single one helps you get there.

glad your temp is coming down. hope you keep feeling better. :hug:

~ waves ~

Dear Kay,

If you only update when you make progress then you deny us the opportunity to cheer you on. :cool:
Regarding Lyme: I hope that you get the news you need to move forward with the treatment you want.

Take care.
M.

eeks Lymes...i hope that has been the problem so you can be easily treated for it...it is such a b#tch of a disease til properly diagnosed. I know of a dog that was thought to have cancer until i told the owner to have them check for lymes disease. I had a couple of friends who had it and were in severe misery til diagnosed.
I was a heavy smoker and because I was a heavy smoker I was forced to give it up because I could no longer afford it. I used nicorette. I think that helped. I went cold turkey. because it was so expensive it was a lot easier than I thought it would be because I had no choice. Is there a way you can some how make it so you have no choice and just have to quit? Will power didn't even seem to come into it. It was as if I had hit a brick wall. Maybe the imagery of a brick wall lol.
feel better and keep on posting and seek support from us. Don't beat yourself up. I would still be smoking if it weren't so expensive.
bobby

yes kay keep psting.
we want to encourage you even one day is a good day to not smoke.... it means your lungs had a break for a least one day!
keep trying that is all you can do.
I wish hubby would get on board for you that would help alot!
bizi:Bang-Head:

Thank you so much, guys!

All my test results came back negative!!! I guess that's a good thing. I'm still in pain, but my temps are only in the 99's :)
The temps come and go, tho. So I'm cautiously optimistic. If they return, the next step is going to see an infectious disease MD. I don't need anymore docs. I'm already being sent to a rheumy next month.

Smoking is expensive!!! That is definitely a factor in wanting to quit. I smoke less than my husband, tho.
I bought the brand name nicorette 1st, but I also have the 2nd step generic which is a lot less expensive. It's actually cheaper than buying butts. I don't use as much as recommended.
The e-cig cartridges are much cheaper. I like these a little better, too.

It's a total challenge to quit with my husband still smoking, and butts in the house.

It scared me that my cough was like my mother's when I had pneumonia. She died at 46 from lung CA; but part of me doesn't want to quit because I'm pretty handicapped now, and I don't want to see how bad I'll be over time. I struggle with so many health problems now at 30... This definitely holds me back.

That feeling is not a product of depression. It's actually logical. It may sound strange to you guys because you aren't in my shoes. I've taken care of many progressive MS patients over the years and I know what lays ahead.

Thank you for your support, you guys are great! :)
Kay

sorry if this is morbid or if i misunderstood, or both
 

(((Kay)))

glad no Lymes.

are you saying you'd rather get lung cancer so you can die from that before you get too handicapped from the MS?

i understand the "logic" but... on the flip side....

you might not get lung cancer... emphysema is slow and painful and disruptive...

the MS they can't do anything about (for now) ... but no sense risking emphysema or other types of COPD on top of it.... ? :(

i'm sorry if that is not what you meant or if i'm being too forthright or downright morbid. :hug:

you sound so wholesome. i am sorry you are already suffering with so much stuff at 30. i guess, all you can do is try to be as well as you can? :heartthrob:

~ waves ~

I too was taken a back when I read this....emphazema is a terrible way to die!!!!!!!!!!
lung cancer is not a picnic either....
bizi

Hi,
It helps me to know that you are a nurse.
I knew a nurse who used to talk about the worst ways to die. She thought that cancer was worse than anything else.
When she did die (I had seen her about 16 hours before she passed.) it was peaceful but nothing like she anticipated even a few months before.

We don't know what lies in our future.
I think for me, I have an obligation to do the best I can.

Have the house cleaned and painted (curtains washed, floors scrubbed, bed linens cleaned.. . ) and tell him he has to smoke outside. :p

M.

Waves, you're correct, and you read my post correctly. Yes, it is morbid.

I have been present when many of my patients (and my mother) took their last breaths. I did hospice and home health care for years, then worked in hospitals on floors that specialized in oncology, general med/surge, hepatibililary and liver transplants.

Everybody dies. Nobody is immortal. Whatever the cause, pts. can still have a "good death."

I, like many pts. with chronic disease, want to maintain some kind of control over my life and death. I have a living will. It is VERY specific because of my nursing experience.

I worry about being totally dependent. Dependence and lack of mobility scares me. I keep my weight down and take care of my skin because those factors influence quality of life later on when pts. become immobile (ie/increased incidence of bedsores and other infections).

My disease will advance, and it's likely I will die when I lose control over my own respiration (similar to COPD and emphysema).

Morbid.... Yes, yes, yes. But I'm hardly ill informed.
I'm very proactive in my medical care. I keep all my docs updated on symptom and med changes. I've been very persistent with ruling out causes of my fevers and joint pain, and think it's important to find the real cause.

I have no idea how I will die- neither do any of you, unless you have already been diagnosed with a terminal illness.

For now, I'm still smoking. Other fish to fry right now.

My mother's birthday is in 3 days. My brother, sister, father, and I check in with one another on Oct. 10th every year. Aside from that, I try to forget about it.

Thanks for your concerns and feedback,
Kay

((Kay))

Wow- you are definitely not feeling well! Bronchitis is bad enough I cannot imagine what you are going thru. My asthma doctor tells me the same thing that Bizi recommended: Robittusin DM. It does help reduce the coughing to a variable degree.

I have heard of the various types of cigarettes that help quit smoking. My BIL tried one of them but I can't remember what type it was. He didn't smoke the last time we saw him- which was not normal for him. I forgot to ask him how things were going with his attempt to quit too.

Hang in there Kay!! You can do it!!!! Hope you feel better soon!

Hugs

Coffeegirl