kay, perhaps you can think of the security man as an angel, someone there to help protect you from harms way, some one on your side.
i don't know....
bizi

Donna,
I'm sorry I missed your post...
I've been on lamictal for about a year.

Bizi,
I like that we have security here at night. It's a nice complex and the rents are fairly high, but we are close to less desirable areas. They lock all the entry gates after 12am, so everyone has to drive by the leasing office where there are cameras.

This particular security guard gives me the creeps, though. We are not in the middle of the complex and there is no reason why he should be parking for such lengths periods facing our apt in his private vehicle. I'm going to keep the blinds closed until my hubby gets home.

I think we also need curtains because there is a big draft coming from the slider in the living room.

Good news:
I had bought a 14K white gold nose bone to match all my other piercings. I wasn't able to get it in until last night... I'm very pleased with it! :)

Dear Kay,
Buy curtains if they help you.

Most likely the reason the security guards likes to park in the spot that has nothing to do with you. Still, I understand how his presence could be unnerving.

While gold is beautiful.

M.

Dear Kay

Mari is probably right that the reason has nothing to do with you. lots of times things that cause me to react emotionally have nothing to do with me. sometimes i can verify it, other times not.

but i hear what you are saying. it would creep me out too. especially as you say "in his private vehicle" meaning they have company vehicles for official duties? so whatever he is doing there, does not seem security-related. unless they have them use regular vehicles for certain purposes... like semi-undercover? seems odd though. and it would bother me. get curtains.

you could also perhaps ask at the office regarding their policies etc... and maybe mention this is going on and ask if there is some reason...

~ waves ~

Mari & Waves,
They have one particular security truck with lights on the top. This guy is just parking in his own vehicle, but in uniform. He is in a regular parking spot.
It's quite possible that I'm just being paranoid.

Hubby said no to the curtains. We don't pay for heat and hot water here, so he wants to just keep turning up the heat.

I'm upset because of $$$ again...
Hubby just came home with $150 in stuff from the mall...
He says I spend on myself, and he doesn't get anything for himself. And he got a fat check...
This week, he got a $130 inversion table. I only buy small things, like earrings. White gold or not, they are small and I only buy if under $15.
Fat check or not, we have a lot of bills to pay in the first few weeks of the month- rent, car payment, etc.
He doesn't get paid again til the 12th.

****** and worried. I don't even want to take another look at the finances. I may have to borrow $$$ from my little brother again to get us through the beginning of the month. He gives me money without hassle, and I give him a post-dated check.
I worked 4 jobs at one point, so that I would be independent. Before MS, I was.
Through the years, my father would make me put my car (bought with my own money) in his name (cheaper insurance, he said).
He would kick me out of the house often when he was drunk. I would end up with no car and no place to live. At one point, when I took care of my little brother, my father told me I wasn't allowed to have a job.
He did all this so he could control me.
I hate feeling like a beggar. While waiting for SSDI, I had to take money from my father many times to get by. And he didn't give me an easy time about it, but I had no choice.

Sorry for the long vent. Sometimes, thinking and writing down my feelings and the reason for them helps. Other times, not so helpful.

Thanks for "listening."
Kay

hi kay,
you father is a piece of work.
I am hoping that your disability goes thru with out a hitch.
sorry finances are so tough times are such that we should be saving and not spending,,,,we do the same though.
bizi

(((Kay)))

your hubby would annoy me too.

he doesn't ask for permission to buy an inversion table or $150 worth from the mall, right?

i say you cruise by bed bath and beyond and get you some currrrtains. ;)

it's not about warmth... it's about privacy, and your feeling comfortable in your own home.

glad to listen. sorry you had such a hard time of it with your dad too. man.

((((HUGGGS))))

~ waves ~

UGH!

No heat today. Other maintainence issues (leak in livingroom, mold, etc) I reported Oct. 1st not completed...
I spoke to the rental office's manager today & I wrote, "no heat & unfinished work" on the bottom of the check.
The assistant supervisor is here now trying to get the heat back on. The other work may take a while, tho.

Waves, my husband spent $130 on the inversion table + $150 at the mall= $280!!
I really want the curtains. I plan on looking today, my self-imposed budget is $40. The hitch is that my husband will have to hang them.

Bizi, I'm already on social security disability. They found me disabled as of Sept. 2008, and I got some backpay. I qualify for medicare in February. It's confusing though.

I finally got to see my therapist today. She's well again & it was good to see her. I have to see her every 2 weeks again. I'm a total mess right now.
I got to unload a bunch of crap. A lot has happened since my last appointment.

Nervous about driving myself to the new hospital in Boston tomorrow even though I have the address in the GPS and know where to park. I have a hard enough time getting to my regular hospital- I get lost almost every time.
I already wrote out my meds on the sheet they sent me. I had to make a second copy cuz of all my meds.
I'm also nervous that this new doctor will be a jerk, or blow me off. I have a hard time finding words, sometimes I stutter, and I also go blank. I think I'll bring my neuropsych report so he doesn't think I'm a nut case or total idiot. I'm probably being paranoid again. We'll see what happens.

The guy just left- he fixed the heat & will try to get the guy in to do the other stuff tomorrow. At least the important issue is fixed.

Kay

OhKay

I say that you need to feel comfortable and secure. If hubby wants to
continue spending money, tell him you get to spend a equivilent same amount
of what you make. Curtains is a example.

Donna:grouphug:

be careful driving in boston! that sounds like a lot of traffic.
good luck with the appointment.
bizi