I really am starting to feel all alone and isolated and need to talk to one of my counselors but I may have to cancel my appt. with one tomorrow.

When I tell my friends and such about people that say things that are against me, they'll say, "well maybe they didn't mean you." I am in the situation and know the situation better than what my friends are hearing it be told by me which is only word of mouth. I am the one living these nightmares with these people and my very own friends make me feel like I'm paranoid or something. I'm so sick of it I can scream.

For one, my Goodwill teacher has run her mouth to other staff members there about me telling her suupervior she yelled at me. The cleaning lady made a mean comment about it today. The other students won't take their breaks with me. One former student who was not in the class when the old teacher yelled at me but was in class when the teacher complained about me doing it but not using my name. That student told me about some jerk the teacher said sent an email saying she yelled at them in class. Well, the other students knew it was me. Little odds and ends like that that give me very strong probably cause to believe they just want to get to me anyway they can on count of what that teacher said. And the first thing the old teacher, the one who yelled at me last year, said upon my return to school yesterday was, "is nerves breaking out your face?" I never mentioned to anyone there I thought it may be nerves except to my Rehab. counselor. As far as the old teacher should have known is that it was hives on count of an allergy.

Then I go get my hair cut today and I have another big probable cause to believe someone else had been in the talking about me. My husband goes to the same hair place 6 times as often as I do. My hair dresser was telling me she has a lady who had come in there maybe twice to her, and talk about her husband. The hair dresser went on to say that she knew both the lady and her husband. She said she couldn't believe the lady because the lady was bi-polar and she said her exact words, "bipolar people are pipolar from the beginning you know." The hair dresser went on to say the lady had lost her job and had nothing to do but sit at home and think up things that were wrong in her marriage. I knew she was talking about me but I didn't know how to stand up for myself. My husband had to be in their feeding them all bull like he has to everyone else. Then the hair dresser wanted to know where the school was I was going to. She wasn't inerested in any classes, just the location. Then when I gave her my check she wanted to know where my street was. I am so angry that my own friend can not see that my hair dresser was just acting way too funny.

I guess what I'm mostly mad at is that I didn't stand up for myself. I was ashamed to say, hey, I'm bi-polor, you sure youre not talking about me?

befuddled2

HI BF,
I am so sorry that all this is burdening you, you don't need it all on your plate.
But, you do not have to justify yourself, you know the truth and you wonl't change their opinion by standing up for yourself.

Even if they are thinking things remember the old saying sticks and stones, you are the better person! YOu are couragous! You are a beautiful soulful person.

About your face, do you think it could be rocasea? I ahd it flare out a few years ago. It is red, and pimple breakouts. I ahd a terrible time controling it. THere is a post on the chronic pain forum about our rosecea problems.

Yesterday I broke out again, my chin and next to my nose.
Find another hairdresser, hey they all gospip, never met one that had better things to do with their time, lol from experiance, I have my license for 35 years.,Had my own shop for eons too.

If your councilor talked to this woman is was maybe to help you, the teacher never should ahve made the comments.
If you want, ma\ke a note pad of comments and dates, who said what. Just to ahng onto.

If this is a pattern and it is a training that is being used on students that are funded by special programs, they could be in violation of guidlines, and hipp too. Our program with the kids we have to watch confidentiality. BIG TIME.

Be strong four yourself, but you don;t have to own up to argue with people that don't get it. Why waste your breath, You probable felt that deep down and is why you didn't get into confrontorial words, it was hindsight that you used good judgement.
It is not what we say but learning when not saying or confronting makes us the bigger, and smarter person.
You are an amazing person, be happy in who you are, the hecks with the others. Either they get or don't.
Di

Thank you Di,

I already feel better by reading your words. That is a good idea to write down everything for the record. I will do that.

befuddled2

Dear befuddled,
Oh this must be hard to face these woman...
how long do you have to go to school with them?
anyway you could approach one of them and see if she could be your friend.It sounds like a few are bullies...maybe I am seeing this wrongly.
awful
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi Bizi,

you have it right. some are bullies even at their age.

befuddled2

Dear Befuddled,
When you make it to the counselor's do you feel better? Does the counseling make you feel less isolated?

Ignore any people who can not lift you up. Yes, you have to deal with them but don't give them any extra brain space if you can help it.
Fill your brain and your thoughts with what helps you.

Yeah, yeah. Easier to say than do.
I guess I am saying mostly that I do have sympathy and can understand what you are saying.
Mari

Thank you Mari,

I do feel better and less isolated when seeing my therapist. I did not make it to see her yesterday but plan to see her Monday. Then I hope to go to school on Tuesday and am anxious to master mail merge. I am documenting everything at Goodwill anyway and that helps me feel better knowing that it may do good one day, if not for me than maybe for someone else.

befuddled2