[Mrs. Bear]

As my depression lifts, Wes is sinking.

This is a huge trigger.....icky stuff about cutting and suicide. Please Di, don't read this right now.














Wes has been trying to hold on for about a month now. He could sense how bad I was and didn't want to have me have to worry about him. But he is in trouble and had to tell me to keep safe.

He started cutting again about a month ago. Now the voices, halucinations and nightmare horror shows are back. And he isn't sleeping. He says the voices are telling him to kill himself and kill us. He is so scared.

I hoped it was triggered by a sinus infection that he's had for a bit, but even with anti-biotics, the infection and the depression is getting worse.

I need to call the pdoc for an appointment, but he is usually out on Thursday or Friday. It just depends on his court schedules.

I think he has worn out his anti-psychotic meds again. I upped his depakote with no results. He has been on Seroquel, Lithium, Geodon, and now Abilify. I am wondering what other anti-psyc's are available. The pdoc scared me last time saying all that is left are the old stuff like Thorazine and some kind of med that you have to have a blood test every week before they can fill the next Rx to check for liver failure.

Any body had to use any of the old crap? I would like to hear about any experience. Kinda worried about hospitalization, but I will fight my ***** off to not go there.

Thanks, folks. Love you all. Hang in there.

[moose53]

((((((Mrs. Bear)))))),

I don't have any idea what's it like to have to watch someone you love go through so much hell. I know chronic depression from my viewpoint -- been fighting it since I was 16.

I just didn't want to read this and not say anything.

I hope more than anything that a solution can be found to help your Wes. It's horrible and hateful that people have to suffer like this for so long with no help. I wish some of the money for wars and weapons were being spent instead on finding a way to help people who suffer medically and psychiatrically.

You sound like you've been dealing with this for a long time -- Wes is lucky to have you. And I admire your strength and your commitment.

I can't help at all, but, I *DO* understand and I *DO* pray for better for all of you.

Hugs and blessings.

Barb

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Mrs. Bear

He has been on Seroquel, Lithium, Geodon, and now Abilify. I am wondering what other anti-psyc's are available. ......
Kinda worried about hospitalization, but I will fight my ***** off to not go there.

Thanks, folks. Love you all. Hang in there.

What about zyprexa? or risperdal?

I understand about not wanting hospitalization but if he is hurting himself...
I hope you have placed an emergency call to the pdocs answering service...
this sounds very scarey and I am sorry that your wes is having this awful downswing again...
I feel for you guys.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Bdix]

Oh Erin, Im sorry.

I was going to suggest zyprexa as well...its known as the wonderdrug in our household.

Im so sorry Wes is going through this again; rough times all around . Make 50 emergency calls to the pdoc's answering service; its what they are paid the big bucks for.

Crossing the fingers and pinky toes that something works fast.
Bobi

[Mrs. Bear]

Goodness. Sat on the phone last night with the answering service just to get with the pdoc to ask if it was ok to increase the boy's Abilify until we could get an appointment. No response.

Wes slept all night last night. Woke up and told me his sinus infection is starting to go away, that he is feeling better. And the voices are gone and not one nightmare.

The GP gave him another Rx for a nasal steroid along with anti-biotics.

I was right . I am astounded. So strange what will trigger swings. And we are all so different.

I am going to watch him carefully, still get a pdoc appointment for a better emergency plan. Especially since the pdoc is practicing all over the state now.

But wow. We were 2 steps out the door to the hospital last night and now this. Amazing.

[moose53]

((((((Erin)))))), sounds like you just participated in a miracle

"WOW" is right!!

I'm so glad that 'things' are looking up again.

Hugs.

Barb

[bizi]

so it was his steroid sinus medicine that did it?
steroids are really hard on folks...
so glad that he is bettter...
terrible about the lack of response from his pdoc.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

[Mari]

Dear Bear,
You have no idea how upset I was to read about his latest chapter of struggle and then again how ecstatic I was to read that he seems to be settling down back to his good self that he is..

But wow. We were 2 steps out the door to the hospital last night and now this. Amazing.

Believe in the power of good to come into your life and the lives of your loved ones.

I hope that this lifts your spirits.
Mari

[Mrs. Bear]

Suprisingly, it was the nasal spray that did the trick. It cleared his sinuses enough to let him sleep. The sleep doc gave it to him before when we found out he had obstructive sleep apnea this fall and that his sinus cavities were too small. Any ephedra or sudo ephrda causes accute mania, so he usually has to suffer through the sinus infections with just anti-biotics. Using the Rhinacort and such kicks out the crap so much faster. And he sleeps!!!

I talked to the pdoc for about half an hour on the phone yesterday. He told me that whenever I need to tweak Wes's meds, that I can just do what I think we need to do and call him for new rx's. Then he got after me for not calling his cell. I told him he needed a private life as much as anybody and that is what his secretary is for. He said that my calling him would never interupt his private life. LOL.

Then we talked about what he was going to do for his birthday and chatted away.

He is so cool.

I find it humerous that most of Wes's appointments with his t and pdoc end up in social hour. Or my listening to their woe's and worries and talking about how to cope . Too funny.

Which is probably why I need my own p and tdocs, but we all have such a fun relationship. It's gonna be sad when the tdoc retires. He's partially retired right now.