Hi,
You are in a difficult spot.
But it sounds like you have made a decision and are ready to act on it.
That sounds good to me.


Mari

Dear Nikko,
I agree!
You have tried and tried and enough is enough!
Does threatening leaving help at all?
or is she asking you to leave her alone?
Could you possibly stay a night or weekend in a hotel so that she can see how hard it is without you around? some hotels allow dogs.
She has put you in this terrible position....
I wish it weren't so....
(((HUGS)))
bizi

No matter what I say, she has a answer. I don't threaten her, I just tell her and she doesn't care. She is DETERMINED to live her alone and take care of herself. She can't even remember to take her pills when I put them right in front of her 2x a day.

I can't afford to go to a hotel, if I did then I would have to hear something bad when I came back she would probably call the police and say I stole the car who knows. I tried that once with my husband and the dogs with my own car when I had one, and she flipped, how could we do that to her without telling her. Because she was driving me NUTS.

She takes me for granted, and gives me crap about EVERYTHING. She knows I means business now, even though I did all her pee pee laundry and regular, and got her McDonalds. I even have to serve her! If she kept up with her PT she would be much better by now. Everytime I think she is changing, she goes right back to her old ways.

There is nothing I can do to change her in any way, shape or form.

I am looking into apt's near supermarkets and stores, because I will have to walk, I will no longer have a car, it is her's. Mine was repo'd after my husband assaulted me.

I have to figure out how in the hell I am going to get my stuff moved.

I have no life, my dogs, my birds, a few friends, but not close friends.

She thinks she has me financially. But I will live in a dump, so be it.

I have my SSDI and food stamp card. I will still be able to go to COPE where I go for BP, they send cabs for you to and from. Other dr's I will not.

I have been through her illness's since August of 2005, then all the problems/assualt/court with my husband. I can't take much more, all I do now is cry on and off.

I am 48 and my life isn't even worth living anymore, except for my dogs.

I am not strong anymore, I am in pain physically to the max.

I probably will have to give up my rented pc too. Have just basic cable, and just my cell phone.

I will be totally cut off from the world, maybe that's a good thing.

I will keep you posted, I plan to be out of here by May 1st.

I am real depressed, and having real bad thoughts. I am weak and in pain.

Love, Nikko

Hi,
Have you checked out the bus routes in your town? If you got a place near a bus route, you would have access to most places.
Libraries have computers for you to get on line.


Your mother is mistreating you.
I wish there were a way to get her to stop.

Please tell me that you have talked to your tdoc about this.
Mari

((((((Nikko)))))),



I hate this. I wish there were some way I could help

Is she like this even when she's not on the booze?? Could her doctor maybe give her the antagonist that makes her sick when she drinks??

Barb

Dear Nikko,
YOur mother makes me so mad at her.
Iwant you to kow that I think you are wonderful.
and you really have to stick with your plan...
I agree with everyone else.
You deserve a good life not one full of toxic people.
You deserve to be treated well.
I wish we lived closer...cause I would be your friend.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi,
I had a long talk with my mom. The problem is ALCOHOL and I know it and she knows it. So, there will be no more alcohol in this house. If she doesn't drink everything is fine. She has agreed. If she ask's me to go get, I will NOT. If she starts about it, I will go for a ride, or walk the dogs, until she realizes I am serious. I think she knows now, I am very serious.

She is a different person when she is sober. She I mean when she drinks.

We also have information from the counsel of aging being sent, to see what she needs, and I need, as to a break for me sometimes..

They have loads of options to chose from.

This is what I have decided, if this does not work, then I will go to plan B. I know you probably think I am crazy, but I have to give this a try and be firm.

I made this decision, she did not beg or make me feel guilty about moving.
I just have to do this, I hope you can understand.

Hugs, Nikko

We don't have to understand, just support.

I like your idea. If she agrees to be sober, then you can stay. If she renigs, then you have to go. It's a fine aggreement and you both deserve for things to go well. I hope she can do it, because you really just can't any more.

Funny how when we get rid of one toxic relationship, we often start to target the other toxic relationships. My brother is a different man when he is sober as well. I love him. He is my life, my lite and my joy. I hate him when he drinks. I'll tell you more about it later if you want. I just want you to know I empathise with how hard this decision is.

I am so excited to hear about programs out there to help you out and give you a break!! YEAH! Oh, you need this so badly.

About the hubby in your other post. Jerk. He doesn't deserve any more of a label than that. He's just a nothing, nobody, useless, jerk. Kick his butt, love. Good call on getting in touch with the po. Keep up the good work.

Dear Nikko,
You are going to find a way to make this work.
I have faith.

Mari