No matter what I say, she has a answer. I don't threaten her, I just tell her and she doesn't care. She is DETERMINED to live her alone and take care of herself. She can't even remember to take her pills when I put them right in front of her 2x a day.

I can't afford to go to a hotel, if I did then I would have to hear something bad when I came back she would probably call the police and say I stole the car who knows. I tried that once with my husband and the dogs with my own car when I had one, and she flipped, how could we do that to her without telling her. Because she was driving me NUTS.

She takes me for granted, and gives me crap about EVERYTHING. She knows I means business now, even though I did all her pee pee laundry and regular, and got her McDonalds. I even have to serve her! If she kept up with her PT she would be much better by now. Everytime I think she is changing, she goes right back to her old ways.

There is nothing I can do to change her in any way, shape or form.

I am looking into apt's near supermarkets and stores, because I will have to walk, I will no longer have a car, it is her's. Mine was repo'd after my husband assaulted me.

I have to figure out how in the hell I am going to get my stuff moved.

I have no life, my dogs, my birds, a few friends, but not close friends.

She thinks she has me financially. But I will live in a dump, so be it.

I have my SSDI and food stamp card. I will still be able to go to COPE where I go for BP, they send cabs for you to and from. Other dr's I will not.

I have been through her illness's since August of 2005, then all the problems/assualt/court with my husband. I can't take much more, all I do now is cry on and off.

I am 48 and my life isn't even worth living anymore, except for my dogs.

I am not strong anymore, I am in pain physically to the max.

I probably will have to give up my rented pc too. Have just basic cable, and just my cell phone.

I will be totally cut off from the world, maybe that's a good thing.

I will keep you posted, I plan to be out of here by May 1st.

I am real depressed, and having real bad thoughts. I am weak and in pain.

Love, Nikko

Hi,
Have you checked out the bus routes in your town? If you got a place near a bus route, you would have access to most places.
Libraries have computers for you to get on line.


Your mother is mistreating you.
I wish there were a way to get her to stop.

Please tell me that you have talked to your tdoc about this.
Mari

((((((Nikko)))))),



I hate this. I wish there were some way I could help

Is she like this even when she's not on the booze?? Could her doctor maybe give her the antagonist that makes her sick when she drinks??

Barb

Dear Nikko,
YOur mother makes me so mad at her.
Iwant you to kow that I think you are wonderful.
and you really have to stick with your plan...
I agree with everyone else.
You deserve a good life not one full of toxic people.
You deserve to be treated well.
I wish we lived closer...cause I would be your friend.
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Hi,
I had a long talk with my mom. The problem is ALCOHOL and I know it and she knows it. So, there will be no more alcohol in this house. If she doesn't drink everything is fine. She has agreed. If she ask's me to go get, I will NOT. If she starts about it, I will go for a ride, or walk the dogs, until she realizes I am serious. I think she knows now, I am very serious.

She is a different person when she is sober. She I mean when she drinks.

We also have information from the counsel of aging being sent, to see what she needs, and I need, as to a break for me sometimes..

They have loads of options to chose from.

This is what I have decided, if this does not work, then I will go to plan B. I know you probably think I am crazy, but I have to give this a try and be firm.

I made this decision, she did not beg or make me feel guilty about moving.
I just have to do this, I hope you can understand.

Hugs, Nikko

We don't have to understand, just support.

I like your idea. If she agrees to be sober, then you can stay. If she renigs, then you have to go. It's a fine aggreement and you both deserve for things to go well. I hope she can do it, because you really just can't any more.

Funny how when we get rid of one toxic relationship, we often start to target the other toxic relationships. My brother is a different man when he is sober as well. I love him. He is my life, my lite and my joy. I hate him when he drinks. I'll tell you more about it later if you want. I just want you to know I empathise with how hard this decision is.

I am so excited to hear about programs out there to help you out and give you a break!! YEAH! Oh, you need this so badly.

About the hubby in your other post. Jerk. He doesn't deserve any more of a label than that. He's just a nothing, nobody, useless, jerk. Kick his butt, love. Good call on getting in touch with the po. Keep up the good work.

Dear Nikko,
You are going to find a way to make this work.
I have faith.

Mari

NAMES DOUG
CAN I ASK HOW OLD YOUR MOM IS MAYBE THE OFFICE FOR THE AGING CAN HELP MY FAMILY JUST WENT THROUGH SOMETHING SIMULAR
WITH MY GRANMOTHER
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS EXTREMLY ABUSIVE TO THE ENTIRE FAMILY
MYSELF INCLUDED AND I WAS ONE OF 7 GRANDCHILDREN WHO TRIED
VERY HARD TO MAKE HER HAPPY SHE WAS DOWN RIGHT MISERABLE AND THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD PUT HER IN HER PLACE WAS MY GRANDFATHER
AND HE DID IT MORE THAN ONCE SHE BACKED DOWN WITH HER TAIL BETWEEN HER LEGS AND HE WAS NOT THE ABUSIVE TYPE BUT WHEN HE PASSED ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE MY AUNT WAS ABUSED ALL HER LIFE
SHE WAS NOT WHAT YOU CALLED THE ANGEL SHE COULD NOT DO ANYTHING RIGHT MY GRANDMOTHER ABUSED HER STILL THE DAY SHE DIED
MY GRANDMOTHER WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DEMENTIA IN HER EARLY 90S
SHE WOULD NOT EXCEPT ANY HELP SHE THREW MY COUSIN OUT OF THE HOUSE AND TOLD LIVE IN THE SHELTER SHE COULD CARE LESS MY COUSIN QUIT HER JOB TO HELP HER AND THIS IS WHAT SHE GOT IN RETURN
OVER THE YRS STARTING IN 1990 GRANDMA HAD A STROKE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH DIABITIES BROKE HER WRIST AND HIP SHE WAS PUT IN AN ASSITED LIVING HOUSING AND WAS MISERABLE
SHE BEGGED MY COUSIN TO COME BACK AND MY GRANDMOTHER WAS PAYING HER OTHERWISE SHE WOULD LEAVE THAN SHE THREW HER OUT AGAIN AND THIS TIME MY SIS N LAW DID THE SAME THING QUIT HER JOB TO STAY WITH HER IN OCT OF 06 GRANDMA DEVELOPED AN INFECTION
SHE WENT DOWN HILL FROM THERE MY BROTHER WHO HAD POA PUT HER IN THE HOSPITAL AND THAN IT WAS DECIDED FOR HER TO GO TO THE NURSING HOME SHE HAS SINCE PASSED AT THE AGE OF 99
SO YES I UNDERSTAND PLEASE GRIN AND BEAR IT AFTER NOT VISITING
GRANDMA IN THE NURSING HOME FOR A MONTH SHE WAS SAY HAPPY TO SEE US ALL
GET YOUR MOTHER CHECKED FOR DIABITIES BECAUSE THIS CAN MAKE PEOPLE VERY ABUSIVE IT APPEARS MY GRANMOTHER HAD THIS FOR ALONG TIME AND SHE WAS A SUGAR HOLIC SHE WOULD NOT SEE A DR UNTILL MY BROTHER TOLD HER YOUR GOING AND THATS IT SHE HAD NOBODY ELSE
SHE WAS NOT GOING TO ARGUE WITH HIM


DOUG
DNIXON6486@AOL.COM

I understand completely..I had to cut ties with my mom and for most of the year I was the evil cold hearted ***** but I know if I don;t take care of myself no one else will and an alcoholic can only help themselves so give her a final ultimatum and stick with it with a clear heart and soul...you have went much further then most! I am proud of you and you should feel the same!