Waves

I do not want to confuse you!

But I can tell you for sure. That if the depakote isn't the same dosage
all the time. It will mess with your system.

It is a big problem for those that change it. So please take the 800 mg.

And see how you do.

Love ya.

Donna:grouphug:

I hope you are sleeping.....and that your day goes well for you tomorrow.
sending calming thoughts your way.
bizi:hug:

Donna, thanks for the heads-up on the Depakote. i had been tweaking it after he put me on a gram. i have been taking exactly 800 since last thursday when i last saw him.

ok so he texted me could we push up our appt to today, so i actually saw him today instead of thursday. i forgot to tell him somethings. i was running on and on and left and right and then asking questions sorta kinda related and well anyway. i think i forgot to be real clear there are mixed aspects. but i think he might have got that, or not.

the bigger problem (or i see it as bigger, anyway) is the excessive sedation more in the morning. for now he wants to keep the same daily dosages but said to split the Zyprexa 5mg late afternoon, and then 5mg evening, so as to have more of an evening peak, and less morning zombification.

i see him next tuesday. today i got home late (due to apptment) and had to take my 10 as is. tomorrow will be what it will be. so long as i remember to call in the 5's to the the mdoc so he can script those. someone else will have to pick up the script and give him the auth at the same time. that reminds me i need to go photocopy that.

well, that's my update. i feel a bit cooked. i feel like all i did was go up and down stairs today. and very steep ones. moving and non. truth is i did do a lot of it.....if only it were getting me skinnier instead it is just pinching my achilles tendons. talk about derail..... sheesh. ok.

:grouphug:

~ waves ~

p.s. Bizi i sleep well... not always as much as i need due to bad choices/nonsleepiness/work hours. but i do sleep very well when i sleep.

Waves
Sounds good to me.

Also thinking 2 more days till the first date of the 17th.

Donna:grouphug:

Dear Waves,
Repetition and redundancy is good for the soul and the mood. Text him abotu the mixed axpects.

This is logical to me and could work. I have taken meds in the afternoon (5 or 6 pm ) in order to be ready for early work.

Climbing up stairs worked the heart and perhaps a few muscles you are not used to using.

Have good day on Wednesday. We await more updates.
Good luck.


M.

next week i will. i planned to but i get all jumbled up in there. i will try to do better. this week i didn't have a hope of being "prepared" because he messaged me at work tuesday morning as to could come in that same (tuesday) night instead of thursday. and i do *not* carry psych notes around.... :eek:
cool. i got the script, but the pharmacy had to get the meds from the hx so will have tomorrow. for just the one night and tomorrow, i split a 10. i only took 5mg total tonight because i was late home and i had a few .... (drinks) .... (( alcoholic ones)). :rolleyes: didn't do too bad though... 3 bloody mary's.... :rolleyes:
welll yeah more the latter i think. because i run you see. i run up and i run down. despite my long-time fear of going downstairs i've got used to them in the commute again so as to go careening down escalators on the "walk" side, rather than stand on the "stand" side. it makes the difference between missing or making a connecting subway train, really!!!! i *hate* getting up in the morning and i get up as late as possible and then try to make best time possible in the travel..... i know... i'm nuts... certified, too.

anyway, it's not that i get tired pant pant. it's the downstairs that is hard. - it's more my feet/ankles/achilles tendons that hurt. especially in the morning when they are warm. in the evening, they hurt a little from wear and tear at that point. i have an incense+arnica+other herbs ointment that i am trying to use. but should use about 2-4 times a day. and i just don't remember. lucky if i do it at bed time or once in the morning.
lol. it was decent. i'll update the cactass boss thread.

~ waves ~

you are doing well!
hugs to you
((((HUGS))))
bizi

I think you're doing well, too!

I love bloody Marys! I never think to buy the stuff to make them at home though. I have a great recipe from my bartending days...

i am having a lot of trouble with my meds.

and i get mixed up easily too... some cognitive issues but it might be just from being tired.

having a hard time sticking to doc's 5mg/5mg split plan which i only started today since ididn't get the meds.

frankly i took only 5mg (instead of 10mg) yesterday and i still get too tired to get up in the morning - i had that laready with the (not enough) sleep i get.

the problem is... and the reason for the zyprexa addition... is the 911 stuff. and because last time it escalated to full delusional state, and subjectively frightening one.

doc said i must test myself by looking at numerical readings or we won't know if the zyprexa is helping or if i am just avoiding the problem. i haven't "noticed" any incidents lately, but i don't know if it is because i successfully avoid enough that it's unlikely, or if i didn't notice (means i'm improving).

what i did notice is this. remember whne i said i wanted to smash my boss' monitor in his face for saying that about the protected workers? well, i thought it again. so like wednesday or thursday he comes in all purple and blue in the face with some cuts in the face. someone kicked a ball in his face, not intentionally, but they were at close quarters. he has been livid (no pun intended) ever since. it didn't occur to me wedneday but it did thursday. and then friday, my cousin (who works there) goes... ahve you seen his face... haa, maybe you got your wish. :eek: or maybe everyone elses wish too (fortunate he added that... leaves me room... reminded me lots of people have issues with him. but the fact he got his face smashed in, is rather specific. i mean he could have broken an arm or leg, no, he got his face smashed so now i feel guilty for my thoughts.

i have been uneasy about this. i don't believe it so, not delusional. But i'd feel a whole lot better if i could totally DISbelieve it, write it off. cos that's how the firestarting witch thing started last time. my boss spoke so viciously about the guy that hurt him and that he was going to bust his knee and this and that... i know it is all talk, but still, i found it difficult to have compassion for him talking so mean. compassion is how i try to reel (real too) myself in. i hear people trying to "talk him down" with the fact the guy did not do it intentionally but... my that just escalates his fury and they eventually give up.

i also thought what if it were on purpose.......if the person knew him and knew it would seem accidental. my concern is justt that it not be coming from my me, by my controlling them telepathically. sheesh. and i'm already on zyprexa sorta kinda. wouldntcha know the past 2 days i've only taken 5mg. (and enjoyed zombie-free afternoons!)

also took a wave of mild depression last night... a nobody cares wave.... but then i bounce back to irritable.... i am pretty much irritable most of the time but somtimes the zyprexa makes me flat, and that i don't like. i don't feel like a person.

i don't see any solution to this - all APs are pretty well sedating (no i can't get Geodon) or have nasty side effects. so it's the devil or the deep blue sea. just seems like right now it's the devil AND the deep blue sea. and lard depositing on my bod and a bloated feeling too, awful! :(

I HATE having to take a pill just at the time i finally start feeling less zombified.

~ waves ~

Maybe your boss got a little bit of his bad karma back at him????
bizi