I'm sure he has a conscience. Maybe he is less aware. I remember Mari said he also deals with OCD.

Dear Bobby,
He's not nice when he gets ramped up into that mode.

He cares a great deal about right and wrong -- that is part of what he is obsessing about. But he is not as kind to me as he should be.

M.

Really tired and depressed.
I got a credit card in December at the store in the mall and neglected to keep track of paperwork. I owe money. Cant reach them by phone ---- long story. I will have to go to the stupid mall tomorrow to pay the bill.

Was going to go somewhere tonight with a friend. Have to cancel. Can't deal with much.


I'm spending my day off trying not to go to sleep. This is sooo not logical. It goes against nature -- to be so self-destructive about not sleeping on purpose. I'm getting upset about this.

M.

I apologize for deleting the post
 

Hi,
I wrote the post in the middle of the night and thought I deleted it without notice.

Essentially he is nice except when he is not.
Most of the time I can deal with him either way.

Last night we were both stressed and he was horrible because
1 first I got caught up in his repeating talk in order to calm him, and then
2 responded in a way that did not satisfy him.

In these situations he accuses me of being un supportive because he wants to keep pushing and pushing his worries until I can't take any more.
. .. I know to leave the room and find something else to occupy myself -- except when I am stressed and my guard is down.

He got over it within minutes.
I'm not over it. I feel that he is cruel and selfish.

M.

I feel very sorry about that for you....
I wish he were nicer to you....:(
bizi

Dear Mari
 

i am really sorry. :(

i am wondering...

was he always like this? i mean do you feel that he started behaving differently (more selfishly) after you got married?

does he feel that you are selfish in other ways?

is he always like this, or is it episodic?

it really sounds to me like you guys could benefit from couples counseling but i know that's easier said than done, between work and sleep and life in general, plus it is something both parties must be vested in for it to help....

~ waves ~

I'm so depressed. . . . Eating decently, hygiene, . . . . out the window.
Sleep on the couch at really weird times even though pdoc told me I absolutely have to sleep with the cpap or I could have a stroke.

I can't find a way around my stuff piled up in the computer room or living room. Lots of work I need to do for Monday and sleep / not sleeping is in the way of that.
As long as I ignore everything and I mean everything, I am fine and hubby is nice to me.

=-=-
He's always been like this but we lived 40 mins away from each other until around the last hurricane 5 yrs ago. We often spoke about renting / buying two apts next door to each other so that we could each keep our own space. It sounded ridiculous to others (like my parents).
My tdoc diagnosed him from my talk about him over the years. I've brought him to sessions for my stuff three or four times.
I'm not exactly sure if it is ocd -- maybe a huge anxiety problem.

There is no way in heck that I am going to counseling with him.

M.

lol Mari

you both have special requirements. i can appreciate how others might think it ridiculous but it does sound to me like two next-door-apartments might be useful for you. or even, having one as a base, and having the other as an option for one of you to go to when in need of space.

in the latter case, you would have to decide, a priori, who gets the "home base for sharing" apt, and who the "secondary space to run to" apt.

wondering if you could find a hotel/motel to stay at for a week to get a breather? when i moved to california i had to hotel-hop for about 2-3 weeks before getting a place... they had everything, fridge, hairdryer, phonejack for phone fax, nowadays internet cnxn/wifi should be common....

sending you good thoughts :circlelove: i am sorry you are feeling so bad.

:hug::hug::hug:

~ waves ~

maybe you can do what needs to get done in bits and pieces ....I am hoping that you did get some sleep today...other wise getting other things done is going to be that much harder to do.
I feel for you.
((((HUGS))))
bizi