Hi,
I suspect that I am bothered by a work deadline on Monday more that I expected.

I need to do the following:
1. go to bed at some point
2. when I wake up, finish the one project
3. when I wake up, get clothes and such ready for work Monday.

I need to find something else to do to relax me -- maybe something.. . . . can't think of anything . . . . . .


My friend came over Sat evening. Usually I try to ignore hubby when I am having a hard time. When she was here, I jumped down hubby's throat a few times, almost made a dangerous driving mistake (thank God she was watching), told her not to talk to me until I my .5 klonopin started taking effect in 30 mins or so, got whiny about the work project that she was helping with, . . went out at midnight to buy some chocolate.

. . . very strange that the driving improved considerably with the klonopin in my system.

Later I got started on another work project that is stressing me much more than the first.

I nearly quit work on Friday. By the time the big boss returned my call later in the day, I was ok enough to ask her about something unrelated to quitting. Hubby would freak if I quit work, but for the past week I have been sooooooooooooo close to throwing in the towel.

I can't tell hubby what is going on. We work for the same place. He gets agitated when I talk to him and makes things worse. MUCH WORSE.
I wish that he could help me.
I have tdoc's mantra.



. . . Sleeping at odd times . . . . mostly in two hour spots here and there around the clock. Somedays go to work with 1.5 hours of sleep in the past 12 hours.


M.

I stopped Hubby before he left to the gym to tell him to edit himself more.

Last night he was not helpful when, in front of my friend, he asked me if I wore my hair "like that" outside the house.

This morning, he said that my hair needed combing and he was just trying to be helpful.






NOT HELPFUL.

So I had another brief conversation this morning to tell him that the point of communication w/ one's spouse is not about information but about feelings.

He said he would do a better job next time.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I will start keeping a log of his insensitive comments and read them back to him 7 days from now. Then I will make an apt. with him to ask him how he thinks he has improved our lives together by saying those things.

Jerk.
M.

Dear Mari

i'm so sorry. Men can be clods when it comes to things like that. And boy are they thick.

i bought a skirt once that was made, out of 8 overlapping fabric flaps... kinda elfish. on one side, the overlap was kinda high. but it was on the side. so, IF the flap got pulled back you would see a rather high portion of thigh. and often there'd be hose underneath anyway.

overall the skirt was incredibly comfortable, and i loved the elfish look.

my dad he made remarks about how "certain" people (implying males with wandering eyes) would certainly appreciate it on the subway... quite a "show." i used to commute 2ce a day on the subway and other trans. i think i wore it another 2-3 times, then got rid of it because i could not enjoy it any more. even though i certainly made sure i was covered.

i like your idea about logging things for a week, and then discussing with hubby.

recently i got very upset with my father over something. the next day i was able to tell him a way in which he could present the information that would be useful to me, and not hurtful or stressful. now my dad is getting on and forgets things, so he might not remember, but but your hubby might...

if there are cases where you feel the information is not bad or good, but what makes it so is how it is presented. and teach him a way of presenting things that you find useful/supportive. be prepared to provide a clear mapping from what he says (your log) to what he might say that would be useful to you. eg. hair.... in private... i like it when you do xyz with your hair, might be complimentary, rather than "it looks unkempt."

you may also have to discuss esthetics with him. what looks "unkempt" to my parents - as hair goes - often looks good to me. and, since we know that is the case, they now mostly keep their unkempt comments behind closed mouths.

~ waves ~

i am so sorry.

would it help to tell us?

feel free to get in touch privately if you wish.

~ waves ~

Yeah,
He is a bit of a dolt.
I wear the hear like that on purpose.

But it wouldn't matter. No matter how I wore it, if he noticed anything and said anything . . . he would say how something was off.
M.

Thank you. Yes. But later. I need to get through Monday and maybe the next couple of days after that.
M.

Waves,
That skirt sounds dramatic and fun.
I can see how you stopped wearing it.
M.

I am sorry that your job is so stressful. Does hubby understand the pressure that you are under?I think if you were to tell him then maybe he could understand how he is not being helpful when he is critical. Does he compliment you at all?
aside comment.
In my head your husband looks like siad from lost....am I close at all?

Bizi,
Oooh ma gah. !!! Those actors in that show had such good lines and such good looks.
Hubby is lighter skinned than Naveen Andrews and has green / gray eyes. He would have a thickmoppy head of hair if he didn't keep it so short.

Attached Thumbnails

   

comples....

of course we all know inner beauty is what counts but.... *drools

i haven't watched LOST - i'll save the explanation for now - but i saw one actor (not Sayid) on the cast in another show and *drools double buckets but they are like babies for us.... we all need our heads washed out with soap!!!

glub.