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#21 | |||
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Legendary
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Hi,
It's exhausting to bring up anything with him. I'm taking a break from talking to him. Tdoc has explained in the past that 1. first he has to recognize the problem 2. secondly, he has to be motivated to change the problem He does not recognize any problem. =-=-=-=-= I think he re-recognized in a general way that he is self-ish. That much he gathered from our talk Friday morning. Neither logic nor tears work. I've tried both in the past. I'm done. There is no freeaking way I'm taking him to see my tdoc again after what happened last time and I'm not going to find him a tdoc. When he takes ownership of his issue, he can find a pdoc who prescribes TCAs or SSRIs for anxiety. There is a mood component to whatever disorder he has. He gets slightly up for a while and then he gets slightly down for a while. If he does have a something of a mood disorder, the ADs would be a bad idea so maybe I will rethink the med idea. Maybe he could benefit from a mood stabilzer like the one I am on, but good luck getting a pdoc to prescribe Verapamil for meanness. He's darned lucky that I even bother with him. M. Last edited by Mari; 02-26-2011 at 05:35 AM. Reason: add part about mood component |
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#22 | |||
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Legendary
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Oh Mari
things sound just awful. ![]() ![]() ![]() if you want to do the hotel thing for a while, i can help you find stuff in your area. i have time and internet. oh and i'm not groggy. that's about all one needs. you just say the word... (((((((( ![]() ![]() |
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#23 | |||
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Legendary
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Waves,
We are not angry with each other. I am just tired of his nit picking. Here's an example: Months ago he installed a door with what seemed that I felt had a complicated locking system. I taped a note on the door with instructions on how to open and how to close the door. Today on his way out to the gym and a hair cut he asked if we could take down the note. I said no. I want him to leave my stuff alone. He does not get to be in control of every item in the place, the fridge, the freezer, and so on. He can let things be as they are. A hotel room would be uncomfortable for me. The experiment last week with leaving my office for temporary space in the library showed that I prefer my own space. He would be pretty upset if I took off for a room somewhere. I am not taking the option off the table, of course, but ,at this moment, I see it as making the problem worse. For one, he is still not comfortable each year when my parents get a hotel room for three nights. Quote:
The other night we had a guest over for a light supper. Hubby was interrupting and critical about me. The guest constantly tried to redirect him. That's what started this latest round of my thinking that he needs to make a change in how he talks to me. M. |
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#24 | ||||
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Legendary
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Dear Mari,
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i hope you are patting yourself on the back for your tolerance and patience. Here's a pat, pat from me. sorry to make you look so goofy in this pic! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() (((hugs))) ~ waves ~ |
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#25 | ||
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Magnate
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Sorry that it's not better between you Mari, he really does need to watch how he talks to you, especially in front of guests, sheesh! I would have been mortified! I hope he recognizes that he's in need of something to help his mood, it was how meds made me feel that got me to accept that I had a mood disorder, its amazing the difference meds can make. Good luck Mari. Keeping you in my thoughts....
__________________
I love my family, my friends, (this means YOU!) my cat, my nails, my Necchi sewing machine and my turtle! . |
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#26 | ||
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Legendary
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Mari
I hate to tell you this. It sounds just like a couple that has been around each other to long. Or many years. I have these problems with my husband at times. WHen he starts threatening to leave I tell him to go. It quiets him down at least. Donna ![]() |
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#27 | |||
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Wisest Elder Ever
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I wish he would own up to his responcibility. Even when you point this out he still doesn't get it...
I am sorry. bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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#29 | |||
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Legendary
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