Mari
i am glad you are crying and getting rid of the pain rather than bottling it up....your tears are probably related to other things too that have been happening to you...let them flow.
bobby

First, I want to agree that we cannot truly adapt to not getting enough sleep. Sleep is necessary for our health, and perhaps psychiatrists and the entire medical community do not give it the attention it deserves. And I am not just talking about mental health.

I am concerned about what you are saying about hubby. Is he adding to the sleep problem? Forgive me for not following all the postings on this board and jumping in because of the topic. Messing up a spouse's sleep falls into the category of ABUSE and is often associated with verbal abuse.

Dear Jaspar

i will let Mari address what she sees fit in regard to her situation, but i just want to say, in general, about your popping in,

so true.

we can take things or leave things if they are not pertinent...

i personally appreciate many of your posts on this board, thank you.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~

Dear Mari

in regard to what i said before... that maybe you have adapted,

i did not mean that you somehow compensate. i meant that after so long, not sleeping has probably had inevitable ramifications affecting your behavior and even thought - those are the "adaptations" i meant. perhaps influence would have been a better word for me to have chosen.

i get that whatever changes are occurring, are not good ones. the "adapt" or "influence" thing was only a theory. i am sorry if what i said seemed to undermine the problem - did not mean to, quite the contrary.

((( hugs ))) and i agree with Bobby... let the tears flow...



we are here for you when you feel like sharing.

~ waves ~

Life really stinks.
I'm having a hard time doing this each day.

Hubby is reading a selection for the service. My sis found this from Springsteen because it is easy to read for for others to understand in the setting of a memorial service. She and I changed 3 or 4 lines but kept the rhythm. Hubby has been practicing it:
http://www.kovideo.net/terry-s-song-...en-214614.html


Last week I told the folks running the gospel chorale that we needed music that was representative of my friend. I also begged them to find some uplifting and up-tempo songs. This morning one of the guys told me that in their repretoire they have

~Imagine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxLnIRVVwIM

~Emotions
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBgAj4cNee4

~Stand By Me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeWIMYVKbLE

I said ok even those these are the saddest songs on the planet!!!!!!
I told him to keep the service as short as possible. He understood that to mean that they are going to do two songs. (two instead of more)

M.

Jaspar:

Hubby guards my sleep. He is very good about that -- as he should. His sleep schedule is slightly disordered too -- although not to the extent mine is.

The trying part is that Hubby has untreated ocd-traits and anxiety.

He gets himself wound up and then frets and then tries to draw me into whatever is bothering him. This is not helpful.


M.

wow, you are really involved in the memorial service....
can't you just ask to not be involved anymore?
I am sorry you are still crying....wish I could give you a hug
((((HUG))))
love you
bizi

Dear Mari,

I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now I don't think it's abnormal to cry 10 days or more after you lose someone you're close to. You're also dealing with added stress and struggling to sleep, and it's bound to make it harder.
I have some practice in grieving, and can honestly say that it will get better. I pray that it will be better for you soon.

Bizi,


The widow and a friend of hers are going to the service. My work colleague, hubby and I are expecting that we will sit with her in the first row.

Even with that, I feel that I need to go to the service for his students.

M.