Dear Kay,

I hope that the PT went well.


Even if someone is crazy (as you say) they can still have more than one issue that needs to be treated. You are putting a lot of work advocating for yourself. Keep strong.

M.

I'm sorry that I've been reading/posting selfishly lately. I keep trying to break the habit, but it hasn't happened yet. I have no idea where the time goes lately... I'm probably just caught up in the minutia of things.

ARG... definitely hypo!!! Difficulty sitting still and concentrating, increase in obsessive behaviors, ramblings, irritability, can't shut my mind off, and inability to fall/stay asleep (even though I feel like ****).

My appt. with the pdoc isn't until the 15th- I think I need to be seen sooner. I'll call Monday.

I did see my tdoc today. It was good to talk things out. I thought I saw pdoc next week and she said that was a good thing. She still thinks the idea of malingering or a conversion disorder is ridiculous, but she let me get all those feelings out. We talked about other things that I can't remember right now. I see her again in 3 weeks- sooner if I need it.

I forgot to get a referral tho and then forgot to call when I realized it. My PCP's office is going to be upset, but TS, I already feel like a jerk.

I'm not doing a good job paying attention to what I'm doing. I burned my little finger pretty badly with tomato sauce. I did it Sunday and it still hurts and is red and swollen... It's a blister on bigger blister. The little one broke several days ago and it looks like hamburger. It's not a huge gaping wound tho because it's the small blister that broke and it's on my little finger. The big one looks like it's ready. I'm wondering what THAT will look like.

I've been putting neosporin and bandaids on and figured it's not infected because it didn't smell and the cats weren't interested in it. Today they're very interested in it and one was trying to lick it (I didn't let it). If it looks worse Monday I'll head over to the doc.
I'm just ****** because this is the 4th time in the last month or 2 that I've had accidents with my finger. I think I'd rather cut my finger than burn it.

I'm still going to the pool. I went twice this week and considered going today, but I did too much already: tdoc appointment, visiting dad, food shopping. I'm disappointed, but I'll try for 3 days next week.

I'm smoking again. It's just pointless to try to quit when I'm like this. I will try again when I'm more stable. I'll just keep trying until it sticks.

thank you for posting dear kay.
OUch about burning your finger...I know that hurts.
don't beat yourself up about the smoking...
if you are hypo right now then be careful extra careful....
Do try to not hurt yourself....

Kay

Sending you hugs.

Donna

Well darling, even when smoking s**ks, maybe it is not the best moment to try quitting ?

I think it will be better to try once you are not feeling hypo....

Lots of hugs !!!!!

Oooooh, do I ever understand. Quiting will eventually stick too. You'll know when the time for you is right, i think.

Quiting smoking was the hardest thing I've ever done. Wasn't ever able to do it for me. After my mom died, tho, & I discovered my dad in early mid-stage Alzheimer's, I decided to sell my home & business & move home to care for him.
"Not unless you quit smoking," his doc said.
"I won't smoke inside."
"You won't smoke at all. He has advanced emphysema & heart disease."
"You can't do that. I'm his daughter."
"I'm his doctor. I'll get a court order."

Well, I don't know whether he could have gotten that court order or not, I decided not to find out. I quit smoking, cold turkey, that day, Nov 1, 1991. I've never started again because I'm afraid I'll never again have so good a reason to stop.
That rude, threatening, brash young doctor is now my doctor, & a good friend.

Dear Jude,

How good a friend? (Sorry that I can be obnoxious. I live there most of the time and have to dial it back to be in polite company.)

This is a great story. . . including changing your life for your father.

M.

Thanks ladies!

Jude Lauren,
I'm quite defiant so I don't know how I would handle an ultimatum like that... my reaction would probably be "FU (un-abbreviated)- go ahead and try."
We kept my mother at home. The state was actually called in because my father was (and is) a non-functioning alcoholic, and at 16-17 I was taking care of my mother and 8 yo brother. Both my brother and I had to see a counselor for the department of children's services, but we were otherwise allowed to continue as usual.
The doc wouldn't be successful in the US. Not only is it a violation of your rights, but there are so many people tucked away in nursing homes, and so many others being abused at home.
I really admire you for being able to drop everything and quit smoking to take care of your dad. And I admire you more for being able to realize the doc only had both your interests at heart.

Bizi,
I try very hard to be extra careful, but my mind wanders. I'm just trying to slow down and pay attention to what I'm doing.

I'm not using the bandaids anymore because they were macerating my skin and I was worried that it put me at a higher risk for infection. Since doing that it looks like it's healing better, but it is still pretty red and swollen.

I'm still hypo.

As always thank you for the support!

So glad to hear your not using the bandaids.

I was worried about how things were looking.

Donna

technically hypo after one week is mania.......
bizi