advertisement
 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 08-16-2011, 03:23 PM #1
BlueMajo's Avatar
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
BlueMajo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
Default

Hi Jacquie

Thank you for writing me.... Im so happy to have you around us

Im tired of being scared and worried all the time.... Is like Im always sick... One thing or another....

This surgery is something very frustrating in my life because I think I didnt think about it with a clear mind... Or... Like i didnt analyse correctly the pros and cons... And I have to add my mom's words saying "yeah, i told you I didnt want you to have it" Yeah... I feel guilty, stupid and usually feel like this is a nightmare and that I will just going to wake up and put on my glasses and that's it....

I need to give this episode of my life and actually to my entire life a meaning because otherwise, i just want to die to be honest....

Oh my.... Where is the rewind button ? life....
BlueMajo is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (08-17-2011), BlueCarGal (08-16-2011), Dmom3005 (08-16-2011), Mari (08-16-2011)
Old 08-16-2011, 03:37 PM #2
Mari's Avatar
Mari Mari is offline
Legendary
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,914
15 yr Member
Mari Mari is offline
Legendary
Mari's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,914
15 yr Member
Heart

Majo,
You have not done anything wrong. You made the best decision you could based on the information available.

You don't need a rewind. Keep looking forward. You are doing that.

M
Mari is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (08-17-2011), BlueCarGal (08-16-2011), BlueMajo (08-16-2011), Dmom3005 (08-16-2011)
Old 08-16-2011, 05:58 PM #3
BlueCarGal
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
BlueCarGal
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Heart

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mari View Post
Majo,
You have not done anything wrong. You made the best decision you could based on the information available.

You don't need a rewind. Keep looking forward. You are doing that.

M

Dear BlueMajo,
What she said.

 
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (08-17-2011), BlueMajo (08-16-2011), Dmom3005 (08-16-2011), Mari (08-16-2011)
Old 08-16-2011, 03:48 PM #4
Just Jacquie's Avatar
Just Jacquie Just Jacquie is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central New Jersey
Posts: 322
15 yr Member
Just Jacquie Just Jacquie is offline
Member
Just Jacquie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Central New Jersey
Posts: 322
15 yr Member
Heart

Quote:
I need to give this episode of my life and actually to my entire life a meaning because otherwise, i just want to die to be honest....

Oh my.... Where is the rewind button ? life....
Oh, please don't even THINK that! You are one of God's children, and EVERYONE HAS A PURPOSE -- You've heard of the 'butterfly effect'? I've done alot of reading since my daughter died in January, and one of the things I read was The Butterfly Effect, and that soothes my soul in many ways. My daughter died one week short of her 28th birthday, and, in her short life, she had an impact. She was kind, loving and generous to a fault, and my Grandchildren will always remember her fondly, as will her closest friends and the rest of her family. Sure, she had her problems, being bipolar herself, but she loved being with her friends and family

Take a break, a leave of absence or something, forget about anyone else, and do something nice for yourself. YOU are worth it!

BTW, I told you so is the worst phrase ever uttered. If you could have forseen what was going to happen, of course you wouldn't have had it. Surgery is ALWAYS a risk - I had lumbar fusion surgery in 2002, and I had to take a leap of faith that I would come out of it in better shape than when I went in, and I did, but it easily could have gone the other way...

Gentle hugs, Jacquie
__________________
"stagger onward, rejoicing"


.
Andrea 1/24/83-1/18/11

.

My grandchildren

.

** friend me on Facebook: Jacquie Grande Preston
.

** L4/L5 fusion w/ hardware in 2002; taking daily pain meds
** proud Grandma of Angelo, age 8, Julianna, age 6, and Penny, 10 months

MY HUSBAND & I ARE RETIRED AND ENJOYING LIFE !!
Just Jacquie is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (08-17-2011), BlueCarGal (08-16-2011), BlueMajo (08-16-2011), Dmom3005 (08-16-2011), waves (08-16-2011)
Old 10-03-2011, 09:39 PM #5
Mandyk Mandyk is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 19
10 yr Member
Mandyk Mandyk is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 19
10 yr Member
Wink

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMajo View Post
Hello dear friends, dear family...

Im in a very bad place right now... my eyes have been bothering me again and, I thought it would be a good moment to write my story here so you can understand the hell I have created to myself and, why Im how Im...

Some of you might know and remember, but some others Im sure doesnt know my story, so yeah, Im gonna tell you my pathetic truth...

January 2008 marks a line in my existence... there is one Majo before that date, and one after... that maybe always was the same, but the first one hasnt realized...

Ok, so, I always was the "glasses girl", the one with the lazy eye... the one that couldnt see anything without her glasses on... the one with astigmatism in my family... In my daily life, my glasses wouldnt bother, but when I wanted to go to a party or bar, I would always regret needing my glasses... When I turned 15, I started to think it would be nice to get rid of my glasses, but at that time, astigmatism was inoperable... I tried hard contact lenses that I kept loosing and battling with and then returned to my glasses...

About my mood, temper and character, I was always the "psycho" of the family, the weird one... the crying one... the sad one... you name it....

In January 2008, at 25, and feeling extremely depressed because the guy I "loved" was getting married, I decided to have laser surgery to correct my vision problems.... To get rid of my glasses so guys could look at me Long story short, my surgery was a disaster... I ended with double vision because I have huge pupils and whatever, and since that day, my life has been a hell... I started to feel suicidal the whole time, depressed, guilty... I experienced horrible panic attacks... I was angry with me, for taking that decision, I was scared, sad, I thought God was punishing me...

When I was 15 too, I started to feel like I needed a psychiatrist but my parents never listened to me... after my surgery, they finally realized my reactions werent normal and took me... I started to get diagnosed... with anxiety, depression, bipolatiry, all sort of mental issues... I got medicine... therapy, etc...

So, since 2008 I have 2 problems, or 2 diagnoses, you name them: visual problem and mental issues... SWEET !!

Im a different person... I miss my past... I miss my old life... I wonder what would have happened if me, my doc and my family would have never realized I have mental issues or... maybe, if I hadnt have the eye surgery, my mental problems would have never became a "reality" ??? All those feelings keep torturing me... I feel God is angry with me because I didnt accepted me the way I was... with my glasses... I tend to think this surgery detonated my mental problems... and now Im a mess... I have all sort of problems... fibromyalgia and cysts in the ovaries, hypothyroidism too.. and I think all is due to my traumatic stress after realizing I had destroyed my eyes...

Today all this stuff comes again to my memory because I went to have an eye exam, and my graduation has changed from .50 to 1.25... more that the double... I bet this will get worse and worse every year, month or day... I will end with the same prescription I have before surgery or even worse plus the double vision and halos I have for my stupidity...

Im scared, frustrated, annoyed, sad... worried... why, why, why...

I was going to ring my ophtalmologist (I have 3 indeed) to ask if that change from .50 to 1.25 is something to worry about but Im sure he will say it is not when Im sure it is... I mean, is double the prescription... and I was 1.75 when I had stupid surgery, so.... yeah... everything for nothing... I ended with all the visual problems you can imagine, any guy looked into me, depressed, fibromyalgic and... yeah... living in hell.

Thank you for reading, I know it's a long post, but I had to... wanted to...

I love you so much.

Hi I don't have Bipolar but I am married to someone who is.I also have a child with early signs.I do how ever know that God is not punishing you. I think he would choose someone really bad if he did. You seem to have many friends who love you on here and I'm happy to see that you are trying to reach out to someone.Glasses do not define you and if men can't deal with them,well srew them.You will find happiness If you look for it first within yourself. Your biggest critic is you. Make you love yourself.Only then can you truly love someone else.
A friend if you need one,
Mandy
Mandyk is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (10-03-2011), BlueCarGal (10-05-2011), BlueMajo (10-04-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011), waves (10-03-2011)
Old 10-04-2011, 12:06 AM #6
BlueMajo's Avatar
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
BlueMajo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
Default

Thank you dear all for everything you have been doing for me...

I cant handle all this stress anymore... I want this exam to be over... My heart is like exploding crying "I WANT TO PASS THIS TEST...." There are a lot of reasons that make me really want to pass it NOW...

I dont think I would survive this process a second time... that is one reason...

I have been talking to God and I simply loose my words... I just need His help...

Please, I have to remember everything I have learned that day... I need to explain and speak fluently...

OMG...

My exam is the 5th at 10 am... Texas' time... If you can think about me at that time, it would be awesome and much appreciated...

Thank you, really, thank you.
BlueMajo is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (10-04-2011), BlueCarGal (10-04-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011)
Old 10-04-2011, 09:04 PM #7
waves's Avatar
waves waves is offline
Legendary
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,329
15 yr Member
waves waves is offline
Legendary
waves's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 10,329
15 yr Member
Heart

Dear Majo

you are in my prayers every night. Honestly, you have gotten me to pray more because i feel hopeless for myself, but not for you. So between St. Ambrose and "The Big Guy" they are getting lots of messages on your behalf from me.

Tonight the "highlight" was your feeling good about yourself and being able to present well and field the questions with decision and self-assurance. I know you know your stuff.

You will do great tomorrow, i am sure of it.

I will be thinking of you during your exam, also.

(((hugs)))

~ waves ~
waves is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (10-04-2011), BlueMajo (10-04-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011)
Old 10-04-2011, 10:26 PM #8
BlueMajo's Avatar
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
BlueMajo BlueMajo is offline
Magnate
BlueMajo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Mexico City
Posts: 2,708
15 yr Member
Default

Thank you waves....

I really need help...

Hopefully they wont ask anything I dont know...

Freaked...

Love you lots !!!

and never, never ever lost hope on you !
BlueMajo is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
bizi (10-04-2011), BlueCarGal (10-05-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011)
Old 10-04-2011, 10:45 PM #9
bizi's Avatar
bizi bizi is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: cajun country, lafayette Louisiana
Posts: 24,238
15 yr Member
bizi bizi is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
bizi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: cajun country, lafayette Louisiana
Posts: 24,238
15 yr Member
Heart

sending lots of good thoughts and intentions your way.
((((((HUGS))))))
bizi
__________________

.
Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
bizi is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
BlueCarGal (10-05-2011), BlueMajo (10-05-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011)
Old 10-04-2011, 11:55 PM #10
Mari's Avatar
Mari Mari is offline
Legendary
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,914
15 yr Member
Mari Mari is offline
Legendary
Mari's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 18,914
15 yr Member
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueMajo View Post
My exam is the 5th at 10 am... Texas' time... If you can think about me at that time, it would be awesome and much appreciated...

Thank you, really, thank you.
Dear Majo,

I will certainly be thinking about you and sending you lots of good energy.
You will do well.

M
Mari is offline  
"Thanks for this!" says:
BlueCarGal (10-05-2011), BlueMajo (10-05-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011)
 


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Article: Nerve Surgery Can Give Back Life And Limb - Health News Story - BCE2 Peripheral Neuropathy 18 09-11-2011 07:13 AM
JUST TOO YOUNG - the story of my life... lou_lou Parkinson's Disease 3 12-15-2010 01:44 AM
Social Security News: Powerful TV Story On Backlogs (VIDEO Story) Stitcher Parkinson's Disease 1 07-14-2008 10:55 AM


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:11 PM.

Powered by vBulletin • Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

vBulletin Optimisation provided by vB Optimise v2.7.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2024 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

NeuroTalk Forums

Helping support those with neurological and related conditions.

 

The material on this site is for informational purposes only,
and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment
provided by a qualified health care provider.


Always consult your doctor before trying anything you read here.