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08-16-2011, 03:23 PM
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Magnate
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Hi Jacquie
 Thank you for writing me.... Im so happy to have you around us Im tired of being scared and worried all the time.... Is like Im always sick... One thing or another.... This surgery is something very frustrating in my life because I think I didnt think about it with a clear mind... Or... Like i didnt analyse correctly the pros and cons... And I have to add my mom's words saying "yeah, i told you I didnt want you to have it" Yeah... I feel guilty, stupid and usually feel like this is a nightmare and that I will just going to wake up and put on my glasses and that's it.... I need to give this episode of my life and actually to my entire life a meaning because otherwise, i just want to die to be honest.... Oh my.... Where is the rewind button ?  life....
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08-16-2011, 03:37 PM
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Legendary
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Majo,
You have not done anything wrong. You made the best decision you could based on the information available. You don't need a rewind. Keep looking forward. You are doing that. M |
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08-16-2011, 05:58 PM
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Guest
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Dear BlueMajo, What she said.
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08-16-2011, 03:48 PM
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Member
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You are one of God's children, and EVERYONE HAS A PURPOSE -- You've heard of the 'butterfly effect'? I've done alot of reading since my daughter died in January, and one of the things I read was The Butterfly Effect, and that soothes my soul in many ways. My daughter died one week short of her 28th birthday, and, in her short life, she had an impact. She was kind, loving and generous to a fault, and my Grandchildren will always remember her fondly, as will her closest friends and the rest of her family. Sure, she had her problems, being bipolar herself, but she loved being with her friends and familyTake a break, a leave of absence or something, forget about anyone else, and do something nice for yourself. YOU are worth it! BTW, I told you so is the worst phrase ever uttered. If you could have forseen what was going to happen, of course you wouldn't have had it. Surgery is ALWAYS a risk - I had lumbar fusion surgery in 2002, and I had to take a leap of faith that I would come out of it in better shape than when I went in, and I did, but it easily could have gone the other way... Gentle hugs, Jacquie
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"stagger onward, rejoicing" . Andrea 1/24/83-1/18/11 . My grandchildren . ** friend me on Facebook: Jacquie Grande Preston . ** L4/L5 fusion w/ hardware in 2002; taking daily pain meds ** proud Grandma of Angelo, age 8, Julianna, age 6, and Penny, 10 months MY HUSBAND & I ARE RETIRED AND ENJOYING LIFE !! |
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| "Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (08-17-2011), BlueCarGal (08-16-2011), BlueMajo (08-16-2011), Dmom3005 (08-16-2011), waves (08-16-2011) |
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10-03-2011, 09:39 PM
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Junior Member
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Hi I don't have Bipolar but I am married to someone who is.I also have a child with early signs.I do how ever know that God is not punishing you. I think he would choose someone really bad if he did. You seem to have many friends who love you on here and I'm happy to see that you are trying to reach out to someone.Glasses do not define you and if men can't deal with them,well srew them.You will find happiness If you look for it first within yourself. Your biggest critic is you. Make you love yourself.Only then can you truly love someone else. A friend if you need one, Mandy |
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| "Thanks for this!" says: | bizi (10-03-2011), BlueCarGal (10-05-2011), BlueMajo (10-04-2011), Dmom3005 (10-05-2011), waves (10-03-2011) |
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10-04-2011, 12:06 AM
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Magnate
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Thank you dear all for everything you have been doing for me...
I cant handle all this stress anymore... I want this exam to be over... My heart is like exploding crying "I WANT TO PASS THIS TEST...." There are a lot of reasons that make me really want to pass it NOW... I dont think I would survive this process a second time... that is one reason... I have been talking to God and I simply loose my words... I just need His help... Please, I have to remember everything I have learned that day... I need to explain and speak fluently... OMG... My exam is the 5th at 10 am... Texas' time... If you can think about me at that time, it would be awesome and much appreciated... Thank you, really, thank you. |
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10-04-2011, 09:04 PM
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Legendary
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Dear Majo
you are in my prayers every night. Honestly, you have gotten me to pray more because i feel hopeless for myself, but not for you. So between St. Ambrose and "The Big Guy" they are getting lots of messages on your behalf from me. Tonight the "highlight" was your feeling good about yourself and being able to present well and field the questions with decision and self-assurance. I know you know your stuff. You will do great tomorrow, i am sure of it. I will be thinking of you during your exam, also.   (((hugs))) ~ waves ~ |
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10-04-2011, 10:26 PM
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Magnate
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Thank you waves....
I really need help... Hopefully they wont ask anything I dont know... Freaked... Love you lots !!! and never, never ever lost hope on you ! |
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10-04-2011, 10:45 PM
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Wisest Elder Ever
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sending lots of good thoughts and intentions your way.
((((((HUGS)))))) bizi
__________________
. Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer..... Happiness is a decision.... 150mg of lamictal 2x a day haldol 5mg 2x a day 1mg of cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9, |
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10-04-2011, 11:55 PM
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Legendary
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I will certainly be thinking about you and sending you lots of good energy. You will do well. M |
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Long story short, my surgery was a disaster... I ended with double vision because I have huge pupils and whatever, and since that day, my life has been a hell... I started to feel suicidal the whole time, depressed, guilty... I experienced horrible panic attacks... I was angry with me, for taking that decision, I was scared, sad, I thought God was punishing me... 
Hybrid Mode
