sometimes i really do feel like that. at times i feel like he just plays yes-man. like, i talk for 10-20 mins. then he re-iterates what i said, but not like a confirmation, as if it is some sort of answer. this is why he only gets an 8 for supportive. and sometimes i get the same yes-man feeling with meds - which just ain't right.

i don't think i can do this properly tonight, with the numbering... too deeply decisional ... i can say supportive/sounding board and availability off the bat are probably at the top right now. meds not right now because i don't feel fearful or lost in a pre-paranoid sense or have any other "weird" stuff going on. maybe some omens but... ok, i better not go there. i don't know.

state-managed health care. it works a lot like an HMO but even less freedom. you might have an eye problem and the first person who sees you is not the same doctor as the one who does the followup. they changed these rules only recently, used to be you could pick whom you saw. i don't know, if i went through state care, whether i'd get to see the same pdoc every time - they may treat psych care differently because of the personal nature. there are copays for doctor visits, exams labs everything, but i have a bipolar exemption that gives me free psych visits, some free labs, and a notch off med copays for those few that are "admitted" by state (eg, benzo's are NOT.) i got this thanks to my excellent GP from years ago who suggested it and helped me - a couple of years after i was seeing current pdoc at the state clinic, and PAYING the stupid clinic, and he never told me a darn thing about it btw.

sort of, and no no no no no, where "sort of" = you can go to any clinic that is state-conventioned. there aren't any nearby, only the main state psych clinic. but i will say their pdoc who renewed my exemption last time was very kindly...........unlike the nurse who screened me.... "you're bipolar but you have 2 degrees??? [diffident tone] how did you manage that??? answer: ... "the second one only after expulsion, readmission, many Fs and retakes?" grr. idiot.