Hi everyone, I have not been on here for a long time. I don't know where to turn. I have an appt with my psychologist on Monday, but I don't want to tell her my prob: I think, no, I know I am addicted to pain pills. I have been on them since last August..I had a partially torn achillies, then I had surgery. Then I took pain meds for my back...I had 2 herniated discs, spondololisthesis, degenerative disc diseasei think that is the same as hnp..anyway, then i had back surgery. I had been taking them as instructed for most of the time. Over the summer my husband was prescribed percocet because he had foot surgery and I took all his..he didn't notice, he dosent take any kind of pain med. Then I ran out of my pain med..vicoden in august and I was withdraing pretty badly...extreme depression, etc....then prescribed more on my reg med check day at the dr. Then my husband was presccribed MORE pain meds...really bad ones..percocet, 5mg AND oxycontin 10 mg. I feel so embarrassed writing this. I am losing it. I want to stop, but not bad enough I guess because I don't want to tell either of my pdocs. I have never held a secret in like this...I have a big huge mouth and i tell everyone everything always, but not this. My biggest fear is the withdrawl. I wish i knew someone who had a withdrawl story that was positive...what i mean is, not so hard. No, I expect it to be hard..I don't wan to commit suicide from the depression...I have 2 kids. i am thinking i will prob have to go into rehab? Please help me. I need some advise. Thank you so so so so much!

I did a hospital detox for alcoholism. I was so far gone they put me into a medically-induced coma so they could keep some measure of control over the process.

This is WHY you go into rehab. You don't need to be afraid. Your pdocs will understand & they will get you through this.

I'm a recovering alcoholic now, 18 yrs of sobriety under my belt. If I had tried to do it outside of rehab I would likely have died & never had the chance to clean up my act.

Call pdocs ASA they're reachable. & stay in touch all the way, okay?

Dear BlueCarGal,
Congrats on the 18 years!
You went through so much.

M

Thanks, girlfriend, but we all have .

Thank you in confiding to us.
that took real courage.
you are probably stronger than you think. I know with medical assistance you can do this.
keep in touch
we are here,
we are listening
bizi

Thank you , you guys. I cry at the care you show. I feel so much better when I share hard times with you guys.
I am going to start with my Pdoc...do you think that's the way to go?

I have to get off these. See, with the vicodan, I am tapering off and I had been asking for lower miligrams and lower doses on my own for months now....then the hubby's meds come in the door and take over my entire thinking...I hoard them...taking them little by little. I am out of control, but as I was tapering off the vicoden well! I was so glad and I frigged it all up! OK, I need to take action now. I can do it...I just have to explain to my husband about whats going on. He understands no mental illness. Get this one! It may give you a giggle....he says, "It's all in your head"...um DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Of course it is!!! Haven't you been listening? Sheesh.
This is going to be so hard. I think the hopstital stay might work...anyone you guys know have a hospstay to wean off pain pills?

Hi,

The doctors have dealt with this before. It happens.

Ask the psychiatrist and the other doctor for help and to give you better medications. Probably the pdoc can help you with the withdrawal. Also, lots of people who are addicted are self medicating because they need better medication from the psychiatrist.

Do you live in a small town or a big city? I'm asking you if you have a choice of psychiatrists.

M

Dear CBlue,

it started with a treatment. and then got out of hand. it happens to many. these and many other addictive drugs cannot be stopped suddenly. there are physcial and psychological components to the addiction. so i would start by talking to your therapist tomorrow. she can help you on the psychological side.

you don't need to be ashamed. what you need is a doctor - start with your GP and they may refer you to someone who is more used to these drugs, who can work with you on a taper plan. it is possible to taper off gradually to avoid withdrawal. a doctor needs to evaluate if this is the best way to go.

the alternative is detox, which is where you stop and are given supportive medical care during the physical phase. the withdrawal from opioids is quite harsh and a doctor needs to be in charge of how to do this. i think this may have to be done inpatient.

so the thing to do now, is go to your doctor, and state that you have this problem going on and need to resolve it. tell him you need a doctor to help you taper, or, if he recommends detoxing, ask about that process. they may recommend you go inpatient regardless for a while, even after you have stopped the pills, to treat the psychological addiction. you have crossed a fair few addiction boundaries that are strongly psychological (secrecy, using outside of your own prescription - suggests compulsion to use, feeling shame but doing it anyway).

THE GOOD NEWS IS:
you've already taken several steps to getting better.

1. YOU SEE THE PROBLEM. not only that.
2. YOU WANT TO FIX IT.

the rest.... trust me.... can be done. but you do need a doctor to help you. please let them. do not let that sense of shame get in your way. you have already come this far and for this you can be PROUD - you desire to get OUT of this, and get better. that desire is the secret ingredient for success.

hang in there, keep posting and let us know how things are going.

((((((((((((((((((((((( HUGS )))))))))))))))))))))))))

waves

Dear CBlue

As far as your husband throwing out the pills, at least we know now he is going to be sensitive to your problem, and you won't have to deal with having pills in the house.

However, you are now in detox on your own - bad thing. you were taking opiates so pls do not wait to develop sx.

call your pdoc (PSYCHIATRIST) immediately to advise of the entire situation. make sure you tell him:
-- that your husband has disposed of all the pills
-- the type of medicine and daily dosage you were taking.
-- when your last dose was.

pdoc may advise you to do one of a variety of things based on the medicine and dosage you were taking, so be as accurate as you possibly can, and then follow his instructions.

Bottom line: Do not wait. tell the doctor NOW, that your husband has precipitated an unplanned and sudden detox.

IF you have not heard from pdoc and you get ANY sx - even if you think it's "in your head" - go to ER immediately. Do not hesitate, and do not drive - if there is no-one to take you immediately, call 911.

Also, I would prepare a list NOW of information ER will need, in case you should need to go, as follows:

RE: PAIN PILLS
- the medicine name,
- daily dosage and frequency,
- time and amt of last dosage

GENERAL
- list all existing medical conditions
- any other medication you normally take (bring bottles with rx if possible)
- any OTC medication you have taken
- GP name/phone
- PDOC name/phone

i am sorry if i am scaring you, better scared and safe though.

(((hugs))) and keep in touch

waves

Dear CBlue

i am reading up more. What i am reading is that opiate discontinuation by itself does not generally produce life-threatening conditions... he key terms there being "generally" and "by itself" ... you need a doctor on board right now who is aware of the entire situation, your overall medical status, all other medications, etc etc etc.. They can make the call as to whether you need to be under medical supervision.

We cannot make that call so, while i hope to have reassured you somewhat after giving you bolded instructions to go to ER etc, i do not mean to take back any of what i said before. CALL YOUR DOCTOR!!!

Finally, even in the best of cases, it seems advisable to have another person with you just to help look after you.

(((HUGS)))
waves