Good morning all,
I wake up at 0330 now pretty regularly. I check email, nothing, surf the net, sometime shop on line and forget that I have done that until I get a pkg at my door. there are things that I feel I should do like get gas before it gets crazy at Costco, weigh in at weight watchers, take my dog swimming before it gets too hot, go to yoga, go for a run, swim laps, or should I just stay home and start getting rid of my Marine Corps pubs and stuff that I won't need but I am not out yet and maybe they would be helpful to keep? Maybe I can't let go of that part of my life. I worry incessantly about things like trash on the ground, people who break the law or people that want to mess with me or my service dog (my perception, rarely accurate).

Had my parents for dinner last night. I was so excited about them coming but then when they were here I was so anxious and irritable. I love them so but get annoyed with them and I shouldn't. My mom wants to help me refi my house but I don't have the mental capacity. Will I have to move once I am out of the Corps? I am supposed to meet w the National Park Service about an internship but I don't know if I want to that.

I started smoking cigars a couple years ago and lately I have been having a cigar w coffee which usually results in too much thinking and throwing up. But still I do it. Not time to quit.

I am having my neighbors over for a casual dinner, I hope I can relax enough so they are comfortable. I always have these grand social ideas but when it comes to execution I want to isolate.

Friends offered to take me to their beach house for a week but I haven't been away from my for more than three days since my accident a year ago. Should I go? Or will that inspire a manic episode?

My doc took me off seroquil and I am titrating my Lamictal to get to my full dosage. I remain in an anxious depressed state.

The one thing I know is that I love my dog. Sometimes it would be nice to have someone else in my life but I am too scared and my Trip (my dog) would have a hard time and it is just not worth it.

The sun is coming up. Maybe a walk in the woods is in order. I hope you all have a nice day.

Dear HIlary,
I was just getting to bed around 2 from reading. my hubby is away and I don't stick to my routine when he is gone. miss him alot. we have cats but they are not like a dog who is much more company than cats.I have been wondering around being bored and the weekends are the worse because I don't have my job to fill my day. I am getting my hair colored this afternoon. What is your status with the marines? are you getting out?
There are chat rooms if you have not discovered them, there is a link at the top right of the page. My time zone is central time I live in louisiana. Am am usually on late at night....if you ever want to chat private message me.
hope you have a nice day what ever you decide to do.
((((((HUGS)))))
bizi
sorry that you are anxious and depressed. If you are able to be social, keep doing that . You won't feel so isolated.

I am sorry your husband is away but just think it will be when he comes home! And he is doing such a wonderful thing too. Must be quit the adjustment for him to be gone and girlfriend time is nice, especially the hotel you went to!
Yes, I have to get out of the USMC. I have been in for 15 years. Right now my job is to go to my doctors appointments and relax so it is like I don't have a job either and haven't had one for nearly a year. I have a real hard time being around people so it is hard to work....I am going to be medically retired, it is just that the process takes a long time, 6 mos to a year. Louisiana must be lovely! I bet the food is fine. I love to cook and I like spicy too which I always think Bayou food is spicy? I fight to stay up until 9! Maybe we could chat when I get up and when you are gang to bed lol!
I went to weigh in and lost two lbs this week, back down to 135, seroquil had me on an upward swing and now that I am off I wanted to see that my efforts were paying off. I went to yoga and I have such bad energy. I left early because they let too many people in and it was real crowded, I have people issues anyway. My mom and I walked our dogs in the park and now I am gonna rest before my neighbors come for dinner.

I hope you fill up your day Bizi.

I hope you have a nice time with your friends for dinner.
Think I will go to the local bar and have dinner.
Had the best hair stylist today at the beauty school, she was great! will have her again for a few months.
don't know when hubby will return, I am going to try to get his oil changed while he is gone. yes he is doing a wonderful thing helping his mom. now they need to see how she can do so they can tell how much help she will need.
hope you are having fun hilary!
bizi

Hoping that your dinner with your friends is going well.

I'm not sure what time it is there. So not sure if its going on now or
has already, or will later.

Heehee,

I have had a lazy day. Thanks to my husband, he proved he is a keeper
today.

Donna