Thanks for telling us what is really going on, your honesty is beautiful. Only y can decide if you have a problem with alcohol. If I listened to my family and friends, I would still be drinking. My family thought I needed alanon. My friends didn't want to lose their drinking buddy. This guy at a meeting I go to says " it doesn't matter how much you drink, it doesn't matter how long you drink, it matters what happens to you when you do drink."

When I for sober, I went to the CSAC (don't recall what that stands for substance abuse counseling or something) office, I didn't tell anyone I was going, I was just tired of feeling the way I was feeling. I was one person by day and one person by night. Sometimes I couldn't make the transition.

Only you can decide if you have a problem with alcohol. I hope you feel better soon.

Hilary

Bizi,

Has the pdoc tweaked your medications to help you out of the mania?
Did you buy the car at a local dealership near where you live?

M

depression is a horrible thing. i wonder if this is your way of self medicating yourself out of it. you need to have your medications checked out. did anything happen to precipitate this phase. I know you will be okay. you probably do need more support. you are going through such a hard time.
love
bobby

I think it has been a cycle for a while now. I was using the excuse to not go to the gym becasue I wanted to have a drink and did not want to drive.then jeff and I walk around the neighbor hood one of the only things we do together which that is when I used to go to the gym. But that is one of the only things we do together that does not include drinking. Drinking is a very social thing here it permiates all of our festivals going out with friends over to have drinks etc. I just finished my 8th beer last night and threw out a 1.75 liter of gin so I won't be buying any more alcohol. I think I need to have more activities in my life.I have become very lazy. going to the gym was my thing. I need to start dieting again, think that I gained all of this weight by eating too much and by drinking too much margaritas and blue berry beers are fattening.
I asked her for more klonipin ans she said no. There has not been a change in my meds to point this too. the car thing just snow balled...she thought it was impulsive but not manic.
anyway. Here is to not drinking...I stopped going to my counselor because I thought she was judging me for my drinking. I need to go back to her and get more support.
bizi

Dear Bizi,

Have you and the pdoc agreed to more frequent appointments during this time?

Do you feel that you are getting enough sleep?
Habe you been skipping meds sometimes?
I think I remember that you are already at what the pdoc considers the highest dose for Geodon. Can the pdoc give you another mood stabilizer at small dose to help you for a few weeks?

The gym will help you. YOu can take comfort in knowing that the gym has worked for you in the past.

Lots of hugs.

M