I think it has been a cycle for a while now. I was using the excuse to not go to the gym becasue I wanted to have a drink and did not want to drive.then jeff and I walk around the neighbor hood one of the only things we do together which that is when I used to go to the gym. But that is one of the only things we do together that does not include drinking. Drinking is a very social thing here it permiates all of our festivals going out with friends over to have drinks etc. I just finished my 8th beer last night and threw out a 1.75 liter of gin so I won't be buying any more alcohol. I think I need to have more activities in my life.I have become very lazy. going to the gym was my thing. I need to start dieting again, think that I gained all of this weight by eating too much and by drinking too much margaritas and blue berry beers are fattening.
I asked her for more klonipin ans she said no. There has not been a change in my meds to point this too. the car thing just snow balled...she thought it was impulsive but not manic.
anyway. Here is to not drinking...I stopped going to my counselor because I thought she was judging me for my drinking. I need to go back to her and get more support.
bizi