thank you for your support!
I met my new therapist yesterday.
She is nice and bright and asked me what my goals were. I told her. She wants me to start journaling, I told her I have done that and that it makes me manic. But I will try over the weekend I see her again on monday evening.
She will be on vacation for a couple of weeks after that. She told me she was sober for 20 years so she could relate to me. I have never seen so many credentials after a persons name before. She has had a lot of training.
She listened to me ramble for over an hour, We are going to work on my relationship with jeff. I think I liked her starting with a new therapist is hard.
bizi

Yep, starting with a new therapist is hard... there's so much to say and so little time to say... and where do "I" start... what have I missed... what didn't I say right... so many thoughts !

But I'm thrilled to read you are seeing a new therapist!

Bizi, in my opinion, you've been journalling! Right here on this forum... every time you write your thoughts here! It may not be pen to paper... but its amazing stuff, not to be disregarded, that's for sure. I've often thought I should find and perhaps print out all my posts... exhausting work, for sure... and just that thought makes me realize it would be overwhelming work! But, looking back, I have seen some amazing changes in myself... just as I know you will find with yourself!

That gross experience in the shower - yikes... start wearing flip-flops or water shoes! just gross!

Enjoy the rest of your weekend! Addy

thanks addy,
I looked for a blank journal thru my stuff and found old ones where I slowly went manic while writing them. The hypomania was present to begin with the writing did not bring on the mania it just manifested itself that way. some crazy stuff.....Do you guys ever read old journals?
bizi

Hey Bizi. I don't write journals anymore because I get obsessed with them in the way that I write them. Then I get compulsions about dotted I's,and looped e's,and oh me,I didn't put that word on the line. Then the whole written journal becomes a compulsive problem if I read it. I don't think that some councilors know,or believe what I tell them about this subject. So I end up in a head trip.

I know what you are talking about when you say that you get hypomania when you write them.

I can write down notes if I write things down fast. If I start obsessing,that brings an end to the notes at that time. BF

Dear Bizi,

I used to read them and found that I gained insight by looking at them years later.
I stopped writing mine around the time I met hubby. I do not think I have any more entries after that.

The new tdoc is a challenge, but only in the beginning. I hope that you get used to each other.

Is she going to ask to read them or have you them read them to her?

M

mari, she did not say.... so far i have not journaled I said I would try... rereading my old ones kinda scared me so many emotions and then some crazy talk....I will try today. I have to fill out her packet of info to turn in tomorrow when I meet with her again. addy you are so right about questoning what I said and how I said it and limited time frame..
today is a paperwork day, I have been drinking herbal teas in the evenings have not found one that I really like so far, bought the variety pack to test them out, they are all kind of bland, subtle, I like bold flavors. any one have any suggestions for a bold tea? I am not using any sweeteners.
thank you for your support.
bizi

Do you ever get to a farmers market, or a fresh market kind of store? Often there are folks who create their own teas. These have bold flavors.
About journal....I read an old one of mine and didn't like what i said at all. I was really depressed, won't read it or use it again. I don't want to go backwards, thinking about how I was. I may even toss it, and start a new one, with a better attitude. I do wish you all the best bizi. ginnie

hi ginnie, I think you are right about not reading them...I do want to move forward with my life not relive it. I still have problems, issues today so I guess I will have to work these things out in order to have less problems in the future. Maybe she can help me to do that. .....Not everyone is supportive of me right now......."every body has problems deal with it"....judgement I can't deal with that right now. I need support from all of my friends and family not criticism. I am thankful that you guys "get it" and are being so supportive of me.
thank you.
bizi

Bizi

As someone said. You kind of journal at times here.

So take a sample of what you have written here on different days.
And show her how you do it on here.

Like when you were having the problems with the face. You kept
a good log on here. And the time when you needed to log
about what you dieted with. You wrote exactly what you ate
on a specific thread here.
Next when your kitties got sick you would log about that on a specific
thread, hope I got that right.

Now when you started to realize you were needing to stop or slow
down drinking. You logged in here and told us. All about it.
Show here a thread or two of yours from here. About that.

I think you are journaling, but not in a specific book. Maybe you
could take some of these and staple them together. And these
could be a journal. Then when you have say 5 more for the next
week add them to your journal.

Keep going this way. You could even 3 hole punch them and put
them in a 3 ring holder. This could be that kind of journal instead.

To me you don't have to write it. You can type it, when you feel it.
And then print it out.

Donna

Bizi,

I am sorry that other people are dismissing your struggle right now. We fully support you.


M