It was a disaster for me, too, Mari. I went against pdoc's advice and went off all psych meds when I found out I was pregnant. A short time into the pregnancy I was convinced that my baby was going to be stillborn. I wouldn't let anybody throw me a baby shower. I was so convinced that I had had this premonition. My poor grandmother, she was so worried that I was right. After my son was born I wouldn't let anybody wear their shoes in my house or touch him unless I had seen them wash their hands. I bought at $200 baby camera at Toys R Us that I put in the crib. The receiver is like a miniature TV. I would sit there for hours and watch to make sure his chest was going up & down. I had had had another premonition that he was going to die from SIDS. It just kept replaying over and over in my mind that I was going to walk in his room and he'd be blue. It was too the point to where when I'd go to get him up from a nap I would freeze at the door. I would have to talk myself through breathing and that I could turn the knob and open the door. I'd open it real slow and every single time I was so relieved that he was alive. I can't explain it. I was not well. :shudder:

I am so grateful for threads like this and you wonderful friends. Just thinking back and remembering how I am off my meds and typing it out has reminded me how grateful I am for them. I get aggravated sometimes because my left hand tremors sometimes, but that's much easier to deal with than unmedicated me.

Butterfly Oh me. That sounded like a horrible phobia. I'm send gentle hugs,and love your way. BF

I have cameras looking on the outside of my house/apartment. I have the shades drawn,and the curtains closed,and the cameras in place. At one time,it was like a security center in here. I also had a pan/tilt/zoom camera at a high strategic point in which I could observe most everything around the house that would be coming this way. I could zoom the camera in on something about a mile away. The receiver of the camera went into a TV set,and I moved the camera with a remote control. I live deep in a rural area. I monitored traffic activity,and etc. I probable sound like a nut,but this helped me to feel secure. I even helped the Police with it. One night I witnessed a crime with it which helped the police track,and arrest the people who committed the crime. I had the weather proof PTZ camera mounted on a outside TV antenna. They where all of my ideas. The camera lasted for four years. BF

Wow BF - that is so cool that you were able to help police. Besides you feeling safer, good came out of it in that it helped catch a criminal! No, you don't sound like a nut. If I had the know how I would have probably done something like that a long time ago. Stuff like that makes me feel secure, too. I feel like if I can see, then it's better. I once had my husband buy this buzzer thing that had two units, it shot some invisible beam and when something passed in between it buzzed to the unit plugged in my kitchen. I had it at the entrance of my carport. It didn't take long for my husband to do away with it though b/c it got annoying. It would buzz if my neighbor's cat walked by, if it was windy, and at times for no reason. Then I would worry maybe someone was under the carport and we just weren't seeing them.

I went off all meds when I was preganet too because I was so worrie about the sideeffects on the babys,the way my apartment sets I can see anything that even inters the complex but still lock myself in. hope you have a nice evening

rats! just today I found out that my pharmacy will no longer fill my meds earlier like they used to. only filled on day 30 from now on. So much for my advice. my pdoc gave permission to fill early since we are leaving on vacation.
bizi

things are getting restricted... i'm not talking just meds... general statement here, take it as broad as you like....

everywhere it seems. here, there.

we are all supposedly living in "free" countries, where you can say what you want, do what you want, etc, within reason, long as you don't hurt anybody, basically. i mean, we are not talking fascist regimes or martial laws and stuff.

and yet, here, the govt is hammering restrictions left and right on everything... some with good reason, some with crazy reason... a lot that leave people in the lurch.

we are affected with additional bureaucracy for meds also... i'm lucky i can still fill my benzo scripts w/o the kind of scrutiny i am hearing about... but i wonder how long it will last, honestly. other meds i cannot even get without a whole cascade of paperwork, formal authorization with specific dosage and period of use, to be filed in triplicate, and then mdoc can write the scripts..... if i need the stuff in a hurry... there's no way.

i find it all so frustrating. i mean if you plan a trip you have some time to take care of stuff ahead, but sometimes like recently a friend had to leave travel due to a family emergency like take the first flight available... throw some clothes in a bag and go to the airport ... no time for med-pre approvals and pickups etc etc. it is sad.

i don't knwo why it is getting like this everywhere. i personally feel like i am living under martial law by some aspects - even though the military is not involved... just the rigor that is being imposed on some aspects of life is getting so extreme. it seems even our privacy will vanish soon. i almost expect that soon they will have means of knowing how much toilet paper i consume per day .... ok that is an exaggeration , but just sayin.

sorry if i've gone way off topic in this thread i'm not even caught up....

~ waves ~

I had three motion detectors also. They are useful in certain situations,but they can be annoying too. BF

Waves I know what you mean. I feel the grip of big brother tightening his hand,and fingers around me. I'm on these watch dog email lists,and I'm signing petitions all of the time now. There are many things that I see in play now that are just plain not the governments business,and it's happening so fast. They are using 9/11 to keep track of everyone,and they are abusing their offices. What are they thinking? Is this the new world order coming into being? I don't like it. I've learned to much for my own good,and it bothers me. As time goes by,things seem to be getting more intense. BF

I agree with you it's pretty bad when you have to show ID just to bye cough med.