Hello, Everyone,

Thank you very much.


Mari

Depression is like a wave that hit's you in the ocean,and you get pulled down in the undertow,the worst part,then you surface grasping for air wondering what happened. BF

Steve,

That is exactly how it is. And you write about it with the beauty of a poet.

M

Thank you Mari. Sometimes that's the only way we can let people know what It's like who don't understand what we are going through. I will talk symbolically in words,poems,psalms,songs,or anyway properly to explain what we go through. It's not all in the head as they use to tell me. There's much more to it then that,and they haven't got a clue who thinks that it's all in the head.

The facts are now coming to the surface through scientific research,medication,and the persons history of suffering. Science has taken a leap forward.

People never use to pay attention to my complaints, until I/all of us/got worse. The new medications are much more affective then the addictive drugs that they gave me in the 70's. That caused more suffering after getting off of them. I'm still on a small amount of Xanax. It seems to help if it is a small amount. It's the most widely used medication for panic disorder. Then I'm on Luvox for the OCD,and seroquel for the other more painful depression,bipolar,and etc.,and etc.,and who knows what else.

The doctors,and councilors,try to help,but they can't talk us out of our problems,because they keep manifesting,and changing,and throw us into confusion,and they wonder why we are still the way we are.

It's like we(with mental health issues) don't know...They don't know. The medicine helps,but many times not enough. I'll take all the proper(Legal) help that I can get after all of these years of suffering. I'm tired of it. I'm beyond tired of it. BF

Dear Steve,
Science is wonderful. Or at least it has improved upon the past.
Our meds help to some extent -- to the extent that we can live and mostly manage. But mostly I feel that I am in a land where doctors are not looking all that hard. I too am tired of not being happy or o.k.

M

I've been through that to where the doctors have not tried to help with medications. One time the doctor's took me off all medications when I was in the hospital. They obviously didn't know what they where doing because the Valium,Librium,Ativan,Xanax class of medications is addictive. I had been on them daily for about 10 years. I had a seizure,and they put me back on Ativan at the time.

Another doctor made a mistake with a powerful sleeping pill. I said that I wanted to get off of it,and he took me off of the medication cold turkey. I had a problem for two years. Some of that time I just couldn't believe what the doctor did,and what happened to me. It was really bad.

I've had 10 Pdocs,and know that through the years they have made some mistakes,and sometimes they didn't really care. They wouldn't tell me anything,but I got the report,at the hospital on one situation by the medical records by micro-file tapes. They where going to try to deal with my problem without medication. So they took me off of it,and I had seizure. Doctors are fallible,and make allot of mistakes. They are only human,and are not as good as they think. I wish that they where better. BF

Right now,I have a good team of professionals. I hope that there are going to be better medications coming soon. I hope. BF

Steve,
Those are some tough times. THat is such a shame --- that you had to go through that.

I am not irritated at my particular doctors. I am irritated at the whole group of them. They stink at patient care, they stink at research, they stink at advocating for us to get access to them and to the meds, . . .

Gee, my medical is a finaicial cost. It also costs me in time and effort, . . . .. the meds and the appointments are a big part of what is left of my life. I did not start on this train until 25 or so. I am sorry that you had to go through that when you were so young.

M

What get's me is the Insurance companies are in charge of my medications at the Pharmacy. They seem to be counting every pill now.

How did this strange thing come into existence? BF

Hi, Steve,

Whatever they are up to adds to the stress of dealing with our medications.

M