Good news, for a change. I think finally I've found the drug for me. This is the first weekend that I feel like "me" in a long time. I even went to the mall but felt a panic attack coming on but brushed it off. Ever since I've been diagnosed BP I've been afraid to go out in public too much for fear people would know that I'm BP. Doesn't make sense, but that's me.

My head still feels out there and food still tastes horrible but I can't complain. I weighed myself this morning and I've lost 7 lbs. since I've started on Lithium. But hopefully I'll get my taste back soon.

I realized last night that I've lost my "roots". I was very angry at God at one time for taking my mom so soon. But my mom wasn't well and she missed my dad so much. I have visions of them up in heaven playing cards and dancing or just being mom and dad. I've felt an urgency to let God back into my life and now I realize.............that's what I've been missing. But I'd do anything to have them back, right now.

Now if only sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep would come. Maybe tonight.

Good news, glad the Lithium is working!!!!!

I hope you get your taste back and are able to sleep.

That's wonderful that you are going to let God back into your life and know that is what you were missing.

I am happy for you.......keep it up up up!!!!

Nikko

Dear Me BP,
This is indeed good news.


Thanks.
You even lost some weight on Lithium? Is it beacuse you don't the taste of food? Maybe that side effect will ease up.
M.

BP, I'm glad the lithium is working out. I lost my mom 2 years ago and sometimes I still get the urge to call her like she was still living.

befuddled2

I'm so sorry for your loss BF. Yes, some days I'm constantly picking up the phone and I even dial the number. Some days are easy, some, like today are extremely hard. I had a long talk with my priest today about heaven and what a beautiful place it is. I know that my mom is with dad and God and most likely so much happier. But it still hurts, there's still this emptiness. And as Mother's Day gets closer and closer the ache hurts more and more. I have to keep reminding myself I've been adopted.

Yes I'm losing weight on Lithium. Maybe because I'm not eating right because nothing tastes good anymore. Not even ice cream which I have for dinner sometimes.

I'm tired but manic or not I'm going out in my yard to give it a little TLC. All my plants are drowning in all the water that's in my yard.

Hope everyone is having a great Sunday. The sun finally came out so...........

BP, I am sorry for you loss also. How long has it been since your mom passed? My 1st Mother's Day without my mom was in church trying so hard not to cry my eye balls out when watching a mother get a courage pinned to her dress in Sunday School.

Thanks for asking about everyone's Sunday. I feel real lazy today.

befuddled2

Just popped in here for a sec. The sun came out all shiney but it's pouring.

Thanks for asking BF. I'm sorry about your tears. But how I stifled them in church today. April 23rd was one year. I posted about her in the Grief Forum. So this is my 2nd without her. I don't remember much of last year because I was in shock. But this one will be hard. But I have my faith and He'll see me through. He always does. But it takes time.

Sun's out so my yard awaits.

Hi BP,

The 1st year without my mom was the hardest. I know that feeling of being in shock all too well. Shock is God's way of protecting us from pain too much to bear at one time.

befuddled2

dear Girlie,
Just wanted to gived you a hug and am happy and sad for you today.
((((HUGS))))
bizi
our gardens can be so lhealing...closer to thee out there.

Bizi back. Yes my garden is healing but it wouldn't be what it is today without my mom's help. I love my garden but I love my mom more.

Some day, if it ever stops raining around here, I'll post a pic of my garden. Everyone has a guardian angel right? Well, I have a "garden" angel that my mom gave to me just 2 weeks before her passing. I feel like it's protecting my garden but it some small way, it's protecting me too. I've always wondered if she knew. Thanks mom.

I hope you and Alffe are having a fantastic time.