I am sorry ....you sound a bit overwhelmed with things.
Please take it easy and do what you have to do to stay sane. take it a day at a time, make pro/con lists if that helps you.
I think you are doing great...sorry that this is so hard right now. I am hoping with all of your effort you get a new health care team, folks in your corner.
You are worthy of this effort!
bizi

Hi, Bizi and Waves,

I am doing what I can --- mostly by being patient with myself.
(Actually, I have no choice --- there is not much of anything I can do.)

My friend called and talked this afternoon. That was good
My local friend let me drag her to the beach earlier (Thursday night).
It was hot and muggy and not one touch of breeze but the moon was bright and I love the smell of the water.
She and I made plans to do yoga together over the three day weekend.

Hubby is being calm. That is good.
Tonight I am listening to sad songs on Youtube and calm songs on Stereomood ( http://www.stereomood.com/mood/calm).

Mari

3 am
 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Naa1HXeDQ
Matchbox Twenty - 3AM (Video)

:girl(sad):

sleep today.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

'Having a hard time.
My sister and I talked on the phone. I explained to her about the tdoc and some other things. She got me so upset about those other things even though she was trying to be helpful.

Mari

That is the way it works sometimes.

Use some of your relaxing techniques.

That is about all the advice I have.

Donna:grouphug:

I am very sorry that you are upset.
I wish your sister was better able to help you.
When do you see your new tdoc again?
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Hi, Bizi,

'Sister made things worse.
One issue was that I was having a hard time explaining things to her. I am so depressed and that I cannot think clearly.
I feel like the call messed up my night but it might have been pretty yucky anyway.

I woke up a few minutes a go --- so I think I might have fallen asleep in the living room and slept from 11:30 pm to 2:00 am.

I have to brush my teeth.
Thursday is a dentist appt.

Mari

(((hugs))) to you Mari.

so sorry to hear about your upset last night. it is hard on us when people we turn to for help don't "get it" ... even if it isn't their fault. sometimes it isn't anybody's "fault" but it hurts all the same, and causes us to feel worse than before.

I hope things go well at the dentist's today.

:circlelove:

waves

Hi, Waves,

My sister does get it. She just was not up to date on what happened with the old tdoc. (even though we had talked since that event, I guess I did not tell her about it)
And when she I told her my thinking is sooooo soooo off she gently asked some questions like about whether I get fresh air in the house, . . . . can I go outside for some sun, . . and some others and I had a hard time reponding because everything feels so complicated and overwhelming.

She caught me up on family news and I was catching her up on my news.

She told me that it would not be too hard to get old pdoc's records to new pdoc once I made a call to new pdoc's office to start the communication.
She tried say to something hopeful about the new tdoc and sleep and I think I might have started crying at that and some other things.

(New tdoc had initially told me on the phone that it might take two sessions to go over history and such and the first visit turned out to be easy and pleasant because she asked speicific questions about history.
Also for the first visit I was very focused on getting it scheduled and over with and did not think about my issues , , , . sort of working on automatic and that is very stressful to do all the time and that is what my life feels like. . . . . doing things I have to do. )
M