Thank you.

The dentist is a routine appt.
Even so, I have my alarm set early enough for the 2:00 appoint so I can put 1.0 Klonopin under my tongue and not feel much by time I get there. The dentist and her office staff are chatty and happy and annoying. Dealing with people is a lot of effort.

things will get better. processes are in place.
 

Dear Mari

Sounds like your talk with your sis had good aspects even if it was hard. perhaps just talking about the tdoc was upsetting... nothing you or she could do, but now she knows at least.

i know this is different that what you experienced, but there is maybe some similarity: i have had very brief episodes of aphasia with compromised concentration. only glimpses really, but it is awful. stuff is in there that can't get out. i want to say things but can't quite line up the thoughts. brain doesn't cooperate, let alone get the right things to the mouth. i can't imagine feeling even close to that for an extended length of time. Topamax messed with my thinking like this sometimes, and I felt crazy, stupid, frustrated and depressed.

you sound so overwhelmed. depression can do that all by itself, but your situation is contributing i am sure. but you have already set wheels in motion to improve the situation... those wheels are turning with the hands of the clock now. hang on to the thought that the situation will, necessarily, improve. then, you will be in a better position to deal with the depression, with professionals in place to help.

summer break is coming soon, too. whenever it is your vacation starts, there are a finite number of days until then. every day, you get one day closer to that breather period. :heartthrob::heartthrob::heartthrob:

more (((hugs)))

waves

maybe some duct tape as well as klonopin?
 

Yes.

When I am ok, I am fine with chatty and happy.

When I am not ok, I wish they would duct tape their mouths before attending to me. ;):cool:

:hug::hug:

waves

Right. Exactly.

Earplugs might work.

I just remembered that the dentist suggested in the past that I bring ear buds/ ear phones and listen to music from my phone.
You reminded me of that. Thank you.

Mari

Hi, Waves,

The dentist office was mercifully non-chaotic because the dentist was out recovering from a C-section.


I am hoping that the brain stuff is mostly about depression.
I was on Topamax for 10 days but I do not remember if I was on it long enough to get the cognitive stuff. I do remember that I had about 10 of the other side effects. That is a difficult med.

Mari

Hi Mari

I am glad the dentist visit worked out. :)

Yes Topamax is difficult for many. The cognitive stuff only occurred during later dosage adjustments. I was relating these things mostly to say I have some appreciation of the kind of difficulties you have, albeit perhaps in a limited way.

The cognitive impairment I get with some migraines is mild enough I can mostly circumvent speech oddity if need be. Remaining calm is a must; so is speaking more slowly. If things go blank, I let them. Pause. Things come back. It's like, go with the flow even if it's slow. I don't know if that can be helpful to you. Maybe you have tried.

I do agree the problem it is likely to stem from the depression. Depression can slow down thinking (and therefore interfere with normal speech), just as mania can speed up thinking (and speech).

I know you will get better, but I really hope it is soon. :hug::hug:

waves

Strange dream
 

. . . . . Disturbing dream stuff.
Apologies for deleting.

M

Missed the appt!!!
 

I showed up one hour late!! She was gone.
Apparently, I showed up at 2:00 for a 1:00 appt.

I make all my appts at 2:00. . (. sometimes that system works)
Except when I do not. I did think to check / verify the time.
I used to have a hard time getting to old tdoc's on time. When I fist stari
started seeing her one time on purpose I showed up two hours early and sat in her waiting room to make sure I was early and played other "time" games with myself in order to be there. Other times I was late. Also I canceled occasionally in our early days and she told me if I did that again she would charge me anyway( should have dropped her then)
I am so frustrated but maybe I am angry and sad about a lot of stuff and also really tired.
I fail at appts

I called her and asked for a time in the next two weeks and told her I was available in the afternoon any day except three days that I have things at 2:00.
GAH.
I was sunny out earlier, now it is cloudy and sprinkling. I should have stayed home for the sun. That would have made me happy.
Thanks for letting me rant.

I am sorry you missed the appointment Mari.

You struggle with appointments. You do not fail at them - that is a harsh overgeneralization. You succeeded in getting to the dentist appointment. :)

Right now is an even harder time than usual. Appointments are hard and right now, they are harder. Mostly here, I am sorry that you have to wait longer to see the T. I do hope she will be understanding.

I hope tomorrow you have some sun again, or that a rainbow comes out after the sprinkling, for you to enjoy.

(((gentle hugs)))

waves

Oh I hate it when I miss appointments. But alas we are human and errors happen. just don't beat yourself up about it.
Hope you can see her soon.
bizi