You did a good job getting through last night Mari! :)

Great job for identifying the important guy and giving him the extra/personalized attention. :)

I gotta run right now... am getting ready for the thing today. :hug:

Relax today.

waves

Waves,

I am looking forward to relaxing.

Talk to us about your day if you want.

Take care.

Mari

You did do a good thing Mari!
rest today and this weekend.
did you get to eat?
what did they serve?:)
bizi

no food
 

Bizi,

I did not sit down at all. No food.

I had begun to realize that part of my aversion to this stupid event was not wanting to suffer through speeches and awards and video clips and clapping. Worst of all was making small talk with table mates when I had been through so much chaos behind the scenes.
The meetings to plan the event had started in February.

Mari

sounds exhausting rest today!
bizi

Hi,

Every moment, and I MEAN every moment is hard for me.
I have to plan, change plans, do it anyway, . . . hope that if people notice they can get past my issues, . . .

Last night, sleep was awful and I am very much hungover still.
I am listening to music and probably need to go pick up meds.
The pharmacy has called me twice to pick them up but it is a hassle.

Mari

mark on my wrist
 

I have a one and a half inch burn on the inside of my wrist from ironing. Whenever I see it I am bothered because it looks like a clean mark from a knife.

I am not having good thoughts.
I do not know what to do.

Last night I went to bed at a good time but woke up waaaay too early: The result is that I have not slept properly in weeks.

M

I am sorry that you burned yourself with the iron. accidents happen. I am sorry that you are not having good thoughts can you call your tdoc and see her sooner?
wishing you slept better.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

no tdoc
 

Bizi,

My tdoc and I dumped each other in May or June or so --- cannot remember.

My thoughts are getting worse as the morning progresses.

I suppose I need to change what I am doing.

M

Oh Mari
 

Dear Mari, :Heart::hug::hug::hug:

I am really sorry about what is going on. I am not sure how to help. I am going to just toss out some thoughts, and probably not very innovative ones, but you never know...

My first thought is to cover that burn. For a burn, a light protective gauze is appropriate. A bandaid is fine if you have one large enough that allows the skin to breathe. You'd no longer have the the visually disturbing characteristics in your face all the time.

Other than that, I think it is a good idea to seek help.

Outside resources:

1. Can you call your insurance and ask about a new therapist? They seem to have a good and fairly fast response system, even if the calls are a hassle.

2. Might your accupuncturist be able to relieve enough tension to help ease you out of these feelings? Sometimes they can be transient.

3. Your old therapist already got freaky deaky, so I can understand not wanting to see her. I recall that she freaked because she saw something or interpreted something as having similar inclinations as the thoughts you describe now. For a good while, you seemed to feel helped by her. I don't know if you'd consider just calling her up... and... well... she might be able to fit you in rather quickly. :o

4. There is your new psychiatrist. Do you feel you could call her? Maybe she could get you in quickly with a therapist colleague? Some pdocs also do therapy themselves... maybe she could be a transition therapist?

Sending healing thoughts to you. :circlelove:

Keep posting to us if it helps. We want to know how you are doing.


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note: used trigger icon in case forum rules require it for things implied but not stated.