quit that, you are not ridiculous!
You seem anxious and fearful.
You are allowed those feelings, don't judge them.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

You are probably right that I am judging my fear and anxiety negatively and that causes me to feel ridiculous.

I also realized, I'm scared of going back to school - afraid I won't be able to deal...

In other words, getting into the course is just as scary as not, maybe even scarier. Well heck, that could produce some serious psychic resistance to getting these essays done.

glub.

waves

Waves

Getting the essays done. Can be a different thought. Its just
another fact of life. Something you want to do no matter whether
you turn it in or not.

Donna

Thanks Donna.

Yes I have to approach it like I'm not turning it in, it's the only way.

BTW, I just spent an hourish on the first essay. The structure and content are down. Some parts are also in prose.

However I just went back to the school site and downloaded their pre-course task. I thought it would be maybe a night's homework type thing.... something to distract me between working on bits of essay. WRONG!

IT FREAKED ME OUT EVEN MORE!

That thing is LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG. They state specifically that the task should be done in different sittings, over a period of time. I already have early signs of my hormonal migraine parade here. There is NO WAY I could complete it in time for the June class.

I am disappointed, but at the same time relieved?

waves

I care. I sincerely hope that your life will get better. Maybe even place an add in the paper for job wanted. You have so much to offer. I hope someone, some company, some position opens for you. ginnie

Waves,

That is good that you made progress by checking the web site. You can turn in the application based on your own timeline now.

Mari

... not to mention one of the two essays is almost done Finishing it up will take maybe the same amount of time but that is because I am a persnicketty anxious fusspot.

The more I think about it it wouldn't make sense for me to try for the June course even if they didn't have that mega-long pre-course task. The migraine situation is just too uncertain. This way I have time to see how that plays out. If the headaches don't abate to a significant degree I have time to get on Neurontin and be accustomed to it by September...

... provided some other wrench doesn't get thrown into things.

waves

Thanks Ginnie,

I appreciate your support.

waves

Waves

Sounds like a very good plan.

And your right on spot. Keep it up.

Hoping to return, if not tomorrow on Sunday or Monday, after state Olympics.

To see its finished.

Donna

I am glad that you went to the web site and that you will have more time to get things in order.
love you
bizi