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Old 09-21-2013, 12:24 AM #11
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Originally Posted by TBI/PTSD View Post
It is so frustrating. I am grateful for you all.

I am thinking very seriously about eliminating cable to just basic local channels. Granted, I will just get the news....the thing I wish to avoid but I won't have the Real Housewives or other mean spirited shows that I continue to watch and get upset about.

As far as yoga goes, I canceled an extra weekend long workshop that I signed up for. I don't go to all the training that people are attending. I will do what I can and see how I do. I have the physical energy but not the mental.

Yesterday I told Trip to the vet to make sure he didn't have an infection from the Pit-bull bites and there were two new "just out of high school looking girls" and I swear they were snickering at me. I almost lost my mind and said something to the . Thank God I didn't.

The other day my neighbor came across the street and was talking to me. I have explained to him and his wife before about my fear of people and sometimes I can't be around them. Well, just in from out of town he came over to tell me about his trip and thank me for watering his flowers. Then he patted my back and I said Zion, I am feeling tortured by having to be out here, I need to go I side. He kept talking. Then he said, what happened? Something terrible happened to you while I was out of town. I said no John, this is my life, this is bipolar. Then he offers support and an ear to talk to-- the last thing in the WORLD I want. I have explained to him time and time again. He just doesn't get it and that is ok. I will continue to stay on lock down. The problem is I washed my car in my drive close to 5pm. John was talking to me, them another neighbor wanted to talk, and another. I just felt like people were coming at me w knives and John kept talking. I got a little rude and took care of myself and went inside. Then I had to pick up the bucket, brushes, sponges.....and John came BACK.


I went to my psychiatrist yesterday and he says I need to act like like everything just fine if I don't want anything back from society, don't reveal anything. To me this is interesting. I have never thought of it. I always say what I am feeling. I am gonna try not to say what is going on. I am going to say everything is just fine.

I am going to go to the new house this weekend, find AA, a yoga class and enjoy the town. books to read, yoga to practice....that is is.

I hope you all have a nice weekend.
My nurse practitioner told me Thursday that I also have a PTSD variant. That's the first time that I've heard those two words used together. I've never been to war,so that's why the word variant was added I suppose. I've most certainly been bullied in many ways in the public. As a adult,I've been emotionally harassed,and fussed at,and threatened over many issues.

People make tremendous mistakes when injuring us. People who are so called emotionally normal never get these emotional issues,and they may turn around,and injure us again.

I understand everything of what you are saying. I have cameras outside connected to monitors inside,and I can see if someone is outside,even at night. These cameras make me feel secure day,and night. I've had these cameras for years,and they work well for my comfort. I don't like to go out if someone is out there. I just get to uncomfortable. BF
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Old 09-21-2013, 07:04 AM #12
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i have ptsd too...i was in an explosion and badly burnt(smooth burns no scars)
I tell people i am bipolar....on the phone it has often worked for me. for instance i called the irs for help and was given an advocate and when i explained why my anxiety was going through the roof, the advocate said that he had a brother who had problems. I got kid glove treatment after that for the many times i had to deal with him. Other people also tell me in response that they have a family member or friend with problems and they too are understanding.
your neighbor sounds toxic....he would irritate me big time. I isolate myself a lot so i don't have to deal with obnoxious people. can you tell him next time that you really appreciate his being kind to you but you would prefer to be left alone..i guess that is confrontation that i hate also but it sounds like only the direct way would help you survive the situation. I have to confront somebody soon but he was just told he has cancer. He doesn't get the clues that i only want him as a friend if that.
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Old 09-24-2013, 04:26 AM #13
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Default Ptsd

Hi ya and good morning! You know the biggest pisser about my neighbors is? I take care of their house when they are gone. Water the mass of flowers and plants in front of and in back of their house, collect their papers and pick up door hangers so people don't know they are out of town. They were going to look after my house by merely picking up my papers....I came home from a weekend out of town to two soaking wet news papers like logs laying on the drive. I am done.

TBI, PTSD-Bipolar- maybe it is age, maybe it just doesn't matter to me what people think but I tell people I am working with I have all this stuff. I appreciate the extra help. Yesterday I got a statement for my retirement pay. They were taking money out of my check for my spouse. I don't have a spouse. Took a lot to recognize the problem and then do something with it. Getting the energy to make phone calls to sort stuff out is soooooooo hard for me. Anyway, I called got it fixed.

BF I LOVE THE CAMERA IDEA. I really wish I had that. Good for you. I like the fact that when I get in my car and put it in gear the doors lock. It is funny, I am so protective of myself but my mind slips and I will forget to close the garage door with the house door wide open.....sheesh.
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Old 09-24-2013, 09:14 AM #14
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I am glad that you got the retirement pay straightened out!!!!!
good for you!
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 09-29-2013, 10:58 PM #15
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TBI/PTSD. Are you OK? BF
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Old 09-30-2013, 03:32 AM #16
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Default Hi ya guys,

I went to the new house this weekend and worked in the garden for two days, it was fine. I love working in the garden, thank you I for looking out BF. We don't have any services connected out there. I have my phone but it is kinda small.

We overhauled the yard. I was feeling very much like I didn't want to see anyone so I worked in the back yard. In the herbs. We have well had an exorbitant amount of lemon verbena, now we just have some. Oregano, mint, chives, chocolate mint, Italian parsley, and some other things that I can't recall. I dug up several box woods for my mom.i like helping her out. We work real well together, always have.

I haven't been practicing or studying yoga or running. Just yard work which I guess counts for something.

I am going to the fios store today to cut cable. I am excited about not paying for TV anymore.

Thanks for looking out for me again BF.
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Old 09-30-2013, 08:45 AM #17
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does this mean you won't have internet at the new house?
bizi
when are you moving?
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Hattie the black and white one wrestling with hazel, calico. lost hattie to cancer.....
Happiness is a decision....

150mg of lamictal 2x a day
haldol 5mg 2x a day
1mg of cogentin 2x a day
klonipin , 1mg at night


I will not give up in this weight loss journey, nor this need to be AF. 3-19-13=156, 6-7-13=139, 8-19-13=149, 11-12-13=140, 6-28-14=157, 7-24-14=149, 9-24-14=144, 1-12-15=164, 2-28-15=149, 4-21-15=143, 6-26-15=138.5, 7-22-15=146, 8-24-15=151, 9-15-15=145, 11-1-15=137, 11-29-15=143, 1-4-16=152, 1-26-16=144, 2-24-16=150, 8-15-16=163, 1-4-17=169, 9-20-17=174, 11-17-17=185.6, 3-22-18=167.9, 8-31-18= 176.3, 3-6-19=190.8 5-30-20=176, 1-4-21=202, 10-4-21= 200.8,12-10-21=186, 3-26-22=180.3, 7-30-22=188, 10-15-22=180.9,
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Old 10-01-2013, 02:37 PM #18
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I love the description of the herb garden. Do you dry them and cook with them?

Cutting cable help cuts down on access to news and that is a good thing.

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Old 10-01-2013, 09:35 PM #19
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One time when I lived in the capital city of my state,I actually got fed up with cable TV,and I actually snipped the cable with wire cutters,and cancelled the service.

The guy who came to my apartment to end the service asked me why I cut the cable cord. I forgot what I said. Down the road I ended up ordering cable service again because of boredom,and I take the bad with the good. That was before I bought a computer. BF
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Old 10-02-2013, 03:26 AM #20
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Bizi,
We will get all the services set up out there when we live there. Now we just spend weekends there working. I am afraid that Internet is something I can't live without! I gotta have my neuro talk people around!

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does this mean you won't have internet at the new house?
bizi
when are you moving?
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