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Bizi

I had already figured out today was 110. I think that is fantastic.

Personally you are doing something to help others with the
problems too. I would say.

Keep it up.

:hug::grouphug:

This is very inspirational Bizi, thanks for sharing.

You are awesome and I hope you know I admire you so much :hug:

Quote:

Originally Posted by bizi (Post 1033150)

IT is 110 day AF today.
belle says we should be rewarding ourselves along this sober journey. I have not, I have not even rewarded myself when I reached 100 days.
At first along the way I bought myself a cosmo magazine as I feel it is indulgent to sit and read one of those type of magazines. But I never even got thru it.... I did buy myself some raspberries one time!
sigh
I see going to the gym as a reward but have no motivation to go since it has been cold here supposed to warm up to 65 today, maybe rake some leaves up the yard is littered with other peoples leaves!
hurumph!i

Hi, Bizi,

Forget about going for 100% moderation at the moment.
It is important that you are focusing on bing AF.
Remember too that computer use is not the same 100% AF--- it is o.k. to slip up on these other goals.
Keep in mind the major goal.

These are some rewards you could try for yourself:
http://healthyliving.azcentral.com/l...stem-2627.html

Quote:

When writing down your goals, also include the rewards you intend to give yourself upon achieving them. Rewards can include a manicure, a new book or CD, a massage, a new pair of sneakers or movie tickets.

Here is a long list. I believe you could find some rewards:
http://www.fitnessforweightloss.com/...-loss-journey/

Quote:

Book
Bouquet of flowers
Clothes (shirt, shorts, skirt, jacket, jeans, etc.)
DVD
Exercise clothes
Healthy cookbook
iPod or mp3 player
iPod, iPhone, or iPad accessory
Kitchen gadget
Magazine subscription
Membership (to a website, club, museum, etc.)
Pair of shoes
Perfume/cologne
Picture frame
Piece of exercise equipment (ball, weights, resistance bands, yoga mat, etc.)
Piece of jewelry
Purse or wallet
Robe
Slippers
Socks
Underwear
Wall hanging
Watch
Workout music

This may sound weird but I am grieving giving up alcohol.

I miss it.

I love to drink.

I wish I could be like my hubby and drink in moderation but I can't.

I feel like I am being punished for bad behavior.

For this I don't get to drink anymore.

I am sad about it, angry at myself for not being able to just drink 2.

How do I come to acceptance?

bizi

Hi Bizi I understand. It's not your fault. Hang in there. This sounds like one of the phases that I went through. BF:hug::hug::hug:

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.” ― C.S. Lewis, "A Grief Observed"

Bizi,

First of all, know that you can embrace these feelings.
Your feelings are real.
This is going to take some time, so continue to be patient with yourself.

Here is a web site that discusses some of these issues:

My sober reality:

http://livingsobersucks.com/does_it_still_suck

Quote:

I have come to accept the reality of my own limitations: mental, physical, geographical and financial. I don’t fall prey to drunken, delusional thoughts of doing or being something that I can’t be or do. In many ways this is calming. I can focus my attention on my true capabilities and capacities and then make the most efficient use of them.

It is frustrating in that I wish I was capable of doing more at a higher level. However, my mental clarity of limitations doesn’t mean that I don’t aspire to these higher levels. I now devise better plans and undertake calculated risks. By dreaming, planning, studying and taking on calculated risks I have been able to accomplish and experience things that were at one time only drunken dreams. I do more now than I have ever done (or had been able to do), when I was drinking.

This means that I make choices, and with each of those choices comes consequences. Some consequences have direct causality to the choices I make, while other consequences are not directly caused by the choices but are correlated and related none the less. Allow me to explain with a few examples:

I am limited – by my own choice – as to what types of social entertainment I want to engage in. I deliberately avoid the bar scene, drinking parties or social events where drinking will be the focal activity. I’m not worried that I’ll “crack,” I just don’t enjoy being around drunks, and after I’ve left an event where drinking was the focus I feel that I’ve wasted valuable time.

thank you mari, I just got done reading some of his blogs they are spot on!
I like his writing style and appreciate his opinions. He has written a couple of books that look interesting.
Must go have been spending too many hours on line. need to get stuff done.
thanks again.
bizi

Alcohol was my dear friend before I quit nearly 20 years ago. I would drink when I was happy, sad, angry, joyous, miserable. I could always go to it and it would be there waiting. It is cunning baffling and powerful always waiting for us to give in. I pray for the willingness to be free from the thought and when I first quit I had a lot of things I did to keep busy. I had friends that supported my new way of life that I could turn to. It was also super important to not try to have too many goals that I held myself to perfection to. You are doing really great and it is so good to hear from you.

monday will be 16 weeks almost 4 months.
This evening I talked to my sister and we made plans for the new years eve party, I will be the designated driver. It will be fun 7 of us at a german restaurant, with a buffet, I know that I will be eating alot of bratworst sausages. I am not ready for christmas it is in the 30's and cold in the house. getting ready for bed hubby is there already. jsut to think 3 days ago it was 80!
supposed to be 45 tomorrow and very rainey. not looking forward to shopping. good night all
bizi

Bizi,
You are documenting your growth.
Reading your posts is an amazing experience for all of us here --- I want you to know that.

The designated driver is a fabulous idea.

M