[bizi]

This is the second night that I drank too much and now i woke up and took another klonipin to see if I can go back to sleep.
my chewed my cuticle on my thumb and it is throbbing, the nail broke all the way down past the quick and I cut it out too far back...it will take a while for it to grow back.
Ouch!
I am helping a friend who is going thru a rough depression and anxiety, she just quit her teaching job(mid term) because it had become too much stress. She starts an out patient intensive therapy day program tomorrow, group therapy. Not everyone can tolerate group therapy.
Am hoping this helps her.
She is taking ambien 5mg to help her sleep, she wakes up 4-5 hours later in a complete panic. Don't know if this is a common side effect for this med or not. I suggested she ask to try the 6mg one that is longer acting not immediate release. She is taking only .25 mg of xanax thru out the day because .5mg makes her flat.
She is taking lexapro for her depression and to try to treat her OCD, obsessive thoughts, ruminating thoughts.
I really feel badly for her and want to help.
She said she feels narcisitic now, I told her it was her job to focus on herself and getting better.
bizi

[waves]

Bizi,

You gave your friend good advice.

I'm sorry about your finger... I can relate to that, painfully well... sigh.

Tomorrow is a new day.

waves

[mymorgy]

do you know why you are drinking too much? it is so difficult because it makes you feel good while you are drinking. how do you feel when you aren't drinking? can you make a list of all the things you are grateful for and that you enjoy?
love
bobby

[bizi]

Originally Posted by mymorgy

do you know why you are drinking too much? it is so difficult because it makes you feel good while you are drinking. how do you feel when you aren't drinking? can you make a list of all the things you are grateful for and that you enjoy?
love
bobby

hi bobby
I think that I have a dependancy on alcohol....
and I like the way it tastes.
I think that I have more fun when I drink.
Am spending too much money on alcohol.
I just bought a 12 pack of these little bud light razzberryritas.
8oz can with 8% alcohol. they are so good.
I think that I had 4 of them tonight.
I think I am done for the evening...should get ready for bed am tired. I am hoping that I sleep better tonight.
thank you for your support bobby,
I have an addictive personality...over do what ever strikes my fancy.
drinking, eating, being on the computer are all areas that I abuse.
sigh
bizi

[Mari]

Bizi,


Big hug:
I am sorry that you are struggling.

Talk to your pdoc or your mdoc.
Maybe the mdoc can help you.

Are you being too hard on yourself about areas that you "abuse?"
You are a good person.

Mari

[waves]

I too read only what was posted. It seemed to me that specific paragraph was what was relevant to Bizi. I thought that she posted the link to give a reference, which I appreciated. I umm, kind of yelled at her about indicating sources for bits of writing. Anyway, I much appreciated that the link was posted so we could see the authors/source.

======================
As to the paragraph posted:

First, I spent considerable time doing loopity loops over the quadruple negative in the last sentence.

"go a lot of places you wouldn’t normally go unless you weren’t completely starved of inspiration"

Having decided that was one negative too many to suit their point, my brain proceeded to hack to pieces the remaining rhetoric. It struck me that they associate the lack of passion with an intense pain in the pit of the stomach. I would argue (because I'm bloody argumentative, right) that if one feels such pain, if indeed one suffers for the absence of passion, that is itself a form of passion.

=============

When I was quite done demolishing the writing in my head, I finally started thinking in terms of what they might be trying to say, and what Bizi might have seen in that paragraph. I decided on this:

"If you don't have something that fires you up, go find it. Go find new stimuli."

I admit, I had a weird feeling about the going places I wouldn't go unless starving (a dumpster came to mind), but I assumed rosier scenarios. So much for that! But back to the working assumption, I thought of Bizi saying she wanted to find hobbies at times, and thought it might be along the lines of that: trying new things until some thing sets off a spark.

waves, who went to bed thinking I should be a professional critic. I seem to be able to find fault with everything... a lot of fault even.

[waves]

Originally Posted by bizi

hi bobby
I think that I have a dependancy on alcohol....
and I like the way it tastes.
I think that I have more fun when I drink.
Am spending too much money on alcohol.
I just bought a 12 pack of these little bud light razzberryritas.
8oz can with 8% alcohol. they are so good.
I think that I had 4 of them tonight.
I think I am done for the evening...should get ready for bed am tired. I am hoping that I sleep better tonight.
thank you for your support bobby,
I have an addictive personality...over do what ever strikes my fancy.
drinking, eating, being on the computer are all areas that I abuse.
sigh
bizi

Bizi, you are being observant, and this is good.

Addictions, as best I can tell, are not things that are overcome. They are things we live with, cope with. You are honing your coping skills. You will keep getting better and better at it.



waves

[bizi]

I am sorry if this stirred up negative feelings to remember what that was like. I am pretty sure that you appreciate your better life now you mari. having gone thru such hardship then you know you never ever want to go there again.
I long for passion....
I miss this, I have had passion in the past but that was before meds dulled my sense of me.
Don't know if this makes sense.
bizi
maybe this is why I am drinking so much....
My life is very small.....

[Mari]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry if this stirred up negative feelings to remember what that was like. I am pretty sure that you appreciate your better life now you mari. having gone thru such hardship then you know you never ever want to go there again.
I long for passion....
I miss this, I have had passion in the past but that was before meds dulled my sense of me.
Don't know if this makes sense.
bizi
maybe this is why I am drinking so much....
My life is very small.....

Bizi,


Find something nice to do for yourself today.

Mari

[Mari]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am pretty sure that you appreciate your better life now you mari. having gone thru such hardship then you know you never ever want to go there again.
I

I do not appreciate one minute of hardship.

If I had gotten a choice, I would have chosen a life of ease, ignorance, and inexperience.

M