I hope your therapist could help you. Was he drinking or had he been drinking?
You don't think he meant that he was just giving up the north and moving permanently to Florida? what a nightmare
bobby

No, he hadn't been drinking.

He owns a seasonal business up here and always returns in the Spring to open it. He didn't mean a permanent move to FL.

He clearly was referring to s/s ideation, to what degree I don't know. I should have asked more questions.
He listened to me talk about it for about 15min. I think he would have interrupted me if I was wrong in my assumption. I'm glad he came over. I hope once he's back in FL, he can see the doctors he's more comfortable with and get help.

My husband thinks he's manipulating me. It's a possibility, but I doubt it because I know he's been deeply depressed.

I talked at length about it with my therapist and she said I said all the right things, and was impressed that I was able to share my experience with him. She seemed satisfied with my efforts at this point, and doesn't think I need to involve his wife based on what he said.

She said that I can call the police department in FL and ask them to do a welfare check if my concerns grow or he expresses a plan.

Not angry, shifted towards concern.

good
bobby

Kay,

I am thankful that you talked to the therapist.

Do you think that he was feeling close to you
and felt in his own mind that he was being nice / a parent?

M

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this.
I think you could call and leave a message.
maybe send an email????
could you do that and protect yourself?
bizi

Mari,

My dad and I have always had a very close relationship, with interruptions due to extreme dysfunction...
I think he was feeling close enough to me to be honest, and was reaching out to me because he knows I can relate to how he feels. He felt safe.

Part of me feels like it was unfair of him to do this to me.

The parenting part was the effort he made to get out of the bed he has apparently been living in for the last several months to drive over to see me before he left for FL. I guess that's the real reason he didn't want to come see me.

Bizi,

Were you talking about leaving a message or emailing my father's wife?

I'm not going to do that at this point because there is no immediate threat, he listened, and seemed to receive my words well. He's not a patient man. It's not like him to sit silently while anyone else talks for anywhere near 15min.
He's been talking to me about his depression for months now and I think that he'll reach out to me when he needs to talk again. I've been talking to him at least weekly. Right now my therapist agrees it's not at the point where I have to involve anyone else. And until it is, I don't want to betray his confidence and deter him from reaching out again.

Down deep I think his POS wife really does love him and I will call her if I have to no matter what the repercussions. I know she got him to go to the doctor to get on an antidepressant, but I don't know why she hasn't been able to get him to do more.

I've stressed to him that he needs to go to a psychiatrist not an MD and let him/her know he has a daughter with BP I, and be honest about his patterns of behavior and depressive periods, because it's more likely they will put him on the right drugs if he does.



I felt better after leaving the therapist yesterday, but I woke up ****ing a mess. Yesterday morning I was mad as hell at him, working through my anger after last year. And today he is the victim. I just want to be there for him when he needs me...

I'm feeling sorry for him because of his mental illness, toxic marriage, financial troubles, and failing business. And I'm feeling terribly guilty that maybe his guilt over my s/s attempt last year is contributing to his mental state right now.

I'm going to have trouble dealing with things as it is, and this is something terrible to have to worry about in the midst of it all...
But when you try to commit s/s, it's not all about you. You traumatize everyone who cares about you- no matter who they are.
I feel a great deal of guilt.
I know my poor husband is going to have a particularly hard time dealing with things. I need him to know I know it.

I agreed to see my therapist in 2 weeks. I'll probably make an appointment for 1. She also offered to set something up so I can call and talk to someone if I need to. I passed, but I may take her up on that offer.

I don't like going, and I don't like taking the $70 hit every time I do, but there is nothing more important than my safety and stability.

I see my pdoc next week. I don't expect a med change.

Thank you kay.
I think you have done and said the right things to your dad. Your therapist is right.
I am so glad that you were able to see her when you did, good timing.
Yes your health and safety are the most important focus right now. no matter the cost, you are worth every penny that you spend.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thank you Bizi :hug:

I've had so much going on besides dealing with the s/s attempt and my dad's recent revelation, I feel like I'm climbing a never ending wall right now but I'm still hanging in there. So far, no signs my stability is in immediate jeopardy. Thank God.

Kay,

Keep doing what is working for you.

M

I was cooking all day... I have to prep a lot in advance, and pre-cook some things to be heated up to pull off a big meal. I still fell behind by an hour and a half lol...

But it did relax me a little, and kept my mind mostly occupied.
Anxiety and knots and my stomach did creep in and out throughout the day, though.

We did manage to have a nice quiet Thanksgiving, despite all the goings on. I'm thankful for that :)