I am sorry that there is drama with his family.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

kay


$610 plus counseling is a lot of money!!:(


Your Buddy's doing a high five -- that is the cutest thing:D


Kay,

Kay,

It is sweet that you are sending out Christmas cards to your husband's family. .
. . .sweet and weird and painful.
But it is good for him, esp since he might not bother to do so without your doing.

I wish we could see Buddy do the high five.

M

$610 IS a lot of money, especially considering it doesn't include any of the counseling sessions. I'll be shelling out at least $400 a month for those, and I'll be paying another $60 a month for drunk.org to "monitor" me.

I wish I could video tape the high five... it's ****ing awesome! :) I just put my hand up and he does it.
He'll only do it when he's alone on the couch with me, so my husband can't see it or record it. He thinks I'm FOS. Oh well, It's something special just for me then :)

My husband would never send out Christmas cards. He would never buy his family presents (they expect them) either. So far, I've bought his mother and sister Yankee Candles online. He would just buy gift cards at the drug store. He'll probably just buy his step father a 30pk of Bud Light and put a bow on it. I was pushing for a Pats Tee shirt.

I only have the limited information my husband has given me to go on as far as how his family feels about me. He told me not to text on birthdays or holidays...
However I got a Christmas card with a $50 gift card from his father in the mail yesterday. He signed it "Dad" as he always did. We were always very close. I will text him to thank him today. It's appropriate. I don't care what my husband thinks.
My mother in law also sent a joint home for me (for the paresthesias in my legs from the MS) one day. My husband told me not to text her to thank her directly.

On another note, the unpleasant imagery has returned, but I think it's intrusive thoughts rather than PTSD this time. I think it's due to the substance abuse counseling making me think about why I stopped drinking triggering thoughts about my s/s attempt.
I have to make an appointment with pdoc. She was very worried about the intrusive thoughts during our last visit. Those thoughts haven't returned. She is really not going to like these.
I don't know what kind of intervention she is going to recommend, but I don't believe it's a safe time for her to introduce an antidepressant, and I will not take one.
I'm not showing any signs of hypomania or depression, but my anxiety has been high off and on lately and making it hard for me to settle down. That leads me to believe that if I swing, I'll be up again. I don't need an antidepressant on board if that happens.

Kay

I have an appointment with pdoc Friday morning.

have we talked about agitated dysphoria?
mixed moods?
not fun aspects of bipolar.....
sorry it is so hard.
christmas is so hard for people, be kind to yourself. and don't pressure yourself either.
bizi

Thank you Bizi :hug::hug::hug:

I've been paying careful attention, but I'm not having any sx of hypomania or depression. These are intrusive thoughts... OCD. But I worry if I let it go it could trigger an episode. So far that has not been the case. I see pdoc tomorrow. I hope she can work some magic.

My husband can't get the 28th off to take me to the substance abuse evaluation. I'm going to ask my friend to take me, but there's no guarantee. It's a lot to ask because the appointment is 90min long. If Bill can't give me a ride, I'll just have to reschedule for a date when my husband can get the day off from work.

I mailed my Christmas cards and the package of gifts to my nephews yesterday before we hit the supermarket. The post office was deserted... I was very fortunate.

I texted my father in law yesterday to thank him for the card/gift card and I said he didn't have to do that. He said, "Of course I did, you're my daughter." I told him I hadn't texted for his birthday or holidays because my husband said not to. So he said it was best to keep my text a secret... He texted my husband, asked for my phone number, and asked if it was okay for him to text me.
My husband gave him my number and said it was up to him if he wanted to text me. When my husband came home, he told me his father had asked for my number and he gave it to him, and he said should probably give his mother (they're divorced) my number because she had been asking for it for a while.

He also decided to have me sign all those Christmas cards after all.

I'm confused, but I'm sure my husband had his reasons. But f I press him, he'll erupt. I'm better off not questioning it. He has his own version of what happened prior to our separation and has villainized me. Perhaps he didn't want to have that questioned. He also may have wanted to keep the extent of my MH problems a secret.

I'm very happy that I'm able to reconnect with my father in law. I love him very much and we've always been great friends. I have mixed feelings about my mother in law and my husband's step father. They are hard-core alcoholics and my husband really gets going when they're all together. My excessive drinking was isolated to hypomania prior to the 4mo period leading up to my s/s attempt. They always wanted me to visit, but I was expected to be seen and not heard. They have treated me poorly at times in the past. I love my husband's sister, but I don't have high hopes for rekindling a relationship there. She is very defensive of her brother, and I know that she is not happy that we are back together.

I feel better now that I know that not everyone hates me.

oh kay, I am glad that you feel better now.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Kay,

Your father-in-law sounds like a sweetie.:)

Your husband probably will continue to adjust/settle into this new version of your relationship.

I think marriages move/evolve/stay static/ evolve again -- as if they are living and breathing organisims.

My hubby does not complain to my in-laws because he does not talk to them about me at all. (Hubby MAJOR compartmentalizes). He does complain to a few friends about mental health type issues of mine but presents them as foibles / annoyances.
Also he feels comfortable complaining to my family and they are o.k. with listening to him a little.

M

i am so happy about your father-in-law but so sad about your sister-in-law.
maybe time will heal the relationship. you must also love her because she is so protective of her brother. too bad she has no influence over his drinking. I wonder if i should have written that. My father was the only one who drank. Once when we were little we went to a restaurant and my mother ordered a drink so unlike her. Myra and I when she wasn't looking would sip from her glass. then my mother thought she had consumed the alcohol and started behaving tipsy. it was so funny.After they had parties Myra and i would help clean up and we usually emptied the drinks. I guess we drank more than my mother.
bobby