Kay

Maybe keeping your contact information away from his dad and mom. Were a coping way for him. So maybe know that his father asked for the information,
he thinks giving to his mom is okay too. I think if you give his sister
some more time she will want what is best for him also. If she decides its
you she might want the information also. I'm glad he had you sign the
christmas cards too.

Donna

Around 8am I wrote to Bizi that I was stable and just having intrusive thoughts.

Around 9:30 while talking to the cab driver who was bringing me to my pdoc appointment, I realized my mood was elevated and I was especially chatty. I was in danger of being late to my appointment because I couldn't shut up and lost track of the time. Fortunately, she was running late.

In the waiting room, I went over yesterday's events in my mind. I had vacuumed, done 4 loads of laundry, swept the kitchen and bathroom floors, and made corned beef and cabbage. Doing all this is atypical for me given my usual limitations d/t MS. I also woke up 2hrs earlier than normal this morning.

I am hypomanic.

By now, you all know my history. It took months to shut down my last episode. I ****ing hope that's not the case this time. I can't bear the thought of struggling through another long episode like that. And I have no desire to spend the holidays in the psych ward again.

Seroquel is my heavy-hitter. I'm at 700mg now. The dose is being increased to 750mg. That should help with the intrusive thoughts, and hopefully the hypomania. The limit for seroquel is 800mg... I don't like being so close to that limit.

The second significant med is gabapentin. I'm currently on 400mg, a relatively low dose. That can be increased to 600mg and beyond if necessary. The increase(s) here are up to my discretion, based on my response to the 50mg increase of seroquel.

Getting the right balance of seroquel and gabapentin is what finally squashed that long episode. I hope it works (fast) this time around. Depending on how I feel tomorrow after adding the extra 50mg of seroquel tonight, I may increase the gabapentin to 600mg tomorrow night. I escalate too quickly to wait around.

At least I'm euphoric, and not dysphoric at this point.


Meanwhile, drunk.org called to reschedule my substance abuse evaluation again... now it's January 4th. I asked my husband to request the day off, but he's ****** they keep changing it, and he's afraid they'll change it yet again. Even if he asks for the day off, he may not be able to get it because of the holidays. I can't rely on my friend for a ride. He's going to be out of town. I may have to reschedule it. What a pain in the ***.

I asked pdoc for the note saying I'm proactive and compliant in my MH care so I can bring it to the evaluation. She said it was no problem. It will be ready for me at my next appointment on the 28th.

Kay,

More meds/ increased dosages -- whatever it takes to get you to the new year 2016.

M

Kay

So glad you know when it needs upped or changed.

Donna

I am glad that you are so self aware. Yes recognizing when we are hypo is hard when in the throws of the matter.
It is nice getting things done though....
I hope your body is not screaming back at you today.
(((((HUGS))))) to you.
Bizi

I think it's pretty awesome that based on my posts Bizi caught on to the fact that I was having an episode before I did. I told her a couple of times I was stable before I realized I wasn't.

I have a really hard time catching things early because it's hard for me to distinguish mild hypo symptoms from anxiety (it was a big problem when I was using the prns so I was under-medicating). Even all that activity on Thursday flew under my radar even though I thought I was being extra vigilant.

I'm not having a full-blown episode of hypomania at the moment, but I'm pretty high despite adding the extra 50mg seroquel last night. It's about 10am here, and my am meds have had plenty of time to kick in. I don't know what the rest of the day will bring...
But I'm going to up the gabapentin tonight to 600mg to try to avoid an escalation or dysphoria. It might mean I'll be snowing myself for a little while until I adjust to the dosage, but it's for a good cause.

Finding myself in another episode is very scary for me based on my history, but I'm going to try my best not to make a big deal out of it. That will just add fuel to the fire. I've been successful redirecting myself lately, and I can't see why I can't apply the same principles here. I told my husband "I'm up and a little too happy, so I'm adjusting my meds." When it comes down to it, isn't that just exactly what's happening? Plain and simple.

I'm just going to focus on the med piece. Things started to fall into place once I added the gabapentin into the mix last time. It should work again, and more quickly, since this time I'm in a better place than I was then.

That is why this place is a good reason to post often and trust that we have each others back. Waves used to be able to tell me the truth or her observations here and that is one reason why I miss her.
Hope this makes sense.
Hope that you get your meds adjusted evenly for you. Be careful today.
bizi

Thanks Bizi.

It makes perfect sense.

I didn't increase the gabapentin last night.

I ended up taking a second klonopin and I settled down pretty quickly yesterday. I even ended up hitting the MS wall of fatigue around 2pm as usual.

I want to be aggressive, but it looks like it's a good idea to wait and let the 50mg of seroquel do its job for now. I think a gabapentin increase right now would blow me away.

You are doing well, Kay.

Keep paying attention.


M