I think everyone here shares two things: bipolar disorder and trauma.

We all deal with our trauma differently of course. For example, I like the land of denial when I can live there.
Mari, your younger brother may be dealing with the past by living in the present, but I doubt he's forgotten about it if his anger is palpable. Or maybe that's just part of his personality? I don't know.

But like Bobby said it's important that we all try to find and focus on good memories. I don't think it matters what they are as long as you have them...

While finishing up the cooking for a holiday dinner in my family, whoever puts the rolls in the oven mentions my mother's recipe for making rolls, "cook 'til black." It's a good memory, funny, and it eases the pain of her absence. It works.

dear kay,
why do you feel that needing extra tdoc appointments is bad..."sucking it up"?
You have had so much trauma....and this anniversary coming up could be a big trigger for you.
Good idea about telling hubby to not talk about it/family issues.
You are never going to change them.
The only thing you have control of is the present.

I am wishing you some peace today.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I don't like going... I think I explained a little bit about that in a post above. It also costs me $70 every time I go.

I got some great news today! But it came with some worries that I'll address down the road.

Kay

I really enjoy reading your threads. Thanks for posting all that is going on.

Or has.

Donna

sorry kay....
(((HUGS)))
bizi

Thank you Donna

It's okay Bizi...

There has been a lot of sadness in my life, but there have been and still are (to a lesser degree now), a lot of good things, too. I just wish I wasn't so isolated.

The last year has been HELL, but it has reminded me of how resilient I am...
I've been through a lot lately, my meds are still working well, and I think I've done a good job of redirecting myself recently. I keep in very close contact with pdoc and I'll reach out in case those meds do need tweaking. I'll make it through 2016 in one piece.

My husband is taking me to go get a new jacket tomorrow. The old one is from L.L. Bean. They changed the design, it's not exactly to my taste as far as I can tell over the internet, and it's $225. I want to hit Macy's first because they're having a sale. I don't want to spend $225, especially if I'm not in love with something. My husband is not going to have fun.

My pdoc's office just called to tell me she completed the med release and sent it out. I doubt my PCP's office will call to notify me. So far, I haven't heard from the drunk organization that I need that substance abuse evaluation. I'll take that as good news. I'm going to call next Friday to ask them if they've received all the paperwork they needed and notified the DMV and court, if I haven't already heard from them. It should be more than ample time. I'm still not rushing.

BTW I am 4mo sober today.

Kay,

Good luck shopping.

Happy 4 months sober.


M