hi bobby.
did you mean to double up on the antidepressant?
please be careful.
love bizi

Both Mari and Bizi are right…
I want to add that I don't recommend taking any extra med without letting your pdoc know, especially the zoloft since you're still over-spending.
The broken record says, "please make an appointment with your pdoc and divulge everything because what you're doing isn't working well enough and you deserve to feel better."

I'm glad you had a nice talk with Stella. You have some really nice friends Bobby. :)

i didn't double up on the antidepressant. a few days i took 200 mg of zoloft and then other days one hundred. I have been feeling so depressed. Holidays are always hard for me. Yesterday i bought chinese food and had another pastry.
I am so upset about my weight. I have been so upset about my sister. It doesn't make sense. yesterday i kept on thinking how she felt when she knew she was dying. I felt so bad for her. I got upset with my youngest nephew. He said if i didn't hear from him in a week, call him to remind him that we are getting together. that definitely didn't make me feel special. He is in his forties now and i haven't seen him since he was in his twenties. it looks like he has got a good position analysing reits. Mike called last night and we both laughed at how depressed we are.
bobby

thank you, I really do have some nice friends. stella has been a lifesaver. yesterday we talked about a lot of events that happened between me and my mother. I think myra's death stirred up a lot of memories of what my mother did to me. Quite painful.
I will go back to 150 zoloft. I will tell the doctor how depressed i have been.
I bought two pairs of pants yesterday at a store in my building. they were marked down from 79 to 19 dollars. I couldn't resist. I might have needed them.
what a mess
bobby

I probably would have bought the pants if they fit right too. That's a pretty irresistible discount.

I'm glad you're going to tell your pdoc about your depression… and anxiety. Besides xanax and klonopin, there are other meds for anxiety he may want to consider if you let him know how big of an issue it has been for you, including the binging…
Reading your posts, anxiety seems to be more of a challenge for you than the depression, but they feed off each other, they are intertwined.
I hope you make an appointment soon.

I'm glad you and Mike could laugh about it all. Sometimes we need to do that. It sort of removes us from the situation temporarily.

HI bobby, I am glad that you do have some friends to share things with. very glad. The holidays can be so painful. This is a new year and hopefully you will start to feel better.
bizi

i have another appointment in a week. I hope i feel better by then. thank you
bobby

Hi, Bobby,

I hope that your day is going well.:hug::hug::hug:

M

thanks. i got on the scale and gained back the two pounds again so i am way up there. i wonder if sweet potatoes are fattening. i love them. went for a walk with cecilia and had coffee. last night i had a horrid dream. i dream a man was in my apartment and going to pour boiling water on me. I remembered the pain of my explosion and grabbed a knife and started yelling help help and going after him. i ran in the hall and there was cecilia and sofia. then the dream stopped. the pain of my past burns was so vivid. i didn't want to get out of bed when i woke up. i have a dental appointment at 11:40, a couple of blocks away.it is for a cleaning every three months. I am scared what she will find. i brush twice a day but sometimes after i brush at night i eat an apple.
tonite i have a lecture-the third one-biblical women heroes in the bible. i don't know if i will go to the rabbi's class at lunch. it might be too much. I am still shaken from the dream.
bobby
i am still binge shopping. just bought more of avon's imari.

I'm sorry about your nightmare Bobby :hug: It sounds terrible!

It sounds like you have a very busy day ahead of you…
I hope you enjoy the lecture tonight and get good news at the dentist (I don't think the apples will hurt anything).